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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask my husband to roll over because his snoring is keeping me awake?

23 replies

LazyDaisy29 · 08/06/2019 02:14

Me and my husband have gone to bed, I have to be up at 6:30 to get ready for work! He doesn’t have work tomorrow
He was laying facing me snoring so loud it woke me up after maybe 45 mins, i then couldn’t get back to sleep so I’ve whispered “do you mind rolling over I can’t sleep”
He has got up and said “I’ll sleep in the living room” grabbed his pillow and actually stormed out!
I feel really upset, I’m probably hormonal as I’m due on but I can’t help but feel like he has just massively over reacted. And now I can’t sleep thinking about it ☹️

OP posts:
Reluctantbettlynch · 08/06/2019 02:15

Yanbu; I feel your pain

MenuPlant · 08/06/2019 02:17

YANBU

HappenedForAReisling · 08/06/2019 02:17

Maybe he's embarrassed by it and overreacted as a result?

But no, asking him to roll over isn't BU.

LazyDaisy29 · 08/06/2019 02:17

I feel all anxious and wound up that I won’t be able to let it go in the morning and will have a row about his reaction

OP posts:
Knackeredmommy · 08/06/2019 02:56

Nope, I used to nudge my ex and he knew that meant roll over! He was probably 1/2 asleep so grumpy. I'd take advantage of the quiet and get some sleep.

Lofari · 08/06/2019 03:02

My husband keeps rolling over to snore in my direction. I am getting fed up of rolling him back over

SunshineSpring · 08/06/2019 03:09

You were very polite.
Mine just gets shoved so he rolls into his side, occasionally with a "Stop snoring" thrown in.

But then its 5am, and I'm on MN, and I can still hear him at the other end of the house.......

JeezYouLoon · 08/06/2019 03:14

I'm here due to a snoring 'D'H - does my head in and totally knackers up my sleep.

I've nicely asked, shoved him and now given up, plus it's self inflicted from been a bit over weight and drinking Angry

It's so frustrating.

agnurse · 08/06/2019 03:16

I think you were very polite and he is overreacting.

PSA: if you or your loved one snores excessively, you/they should be evaluated for obstructive sleep apnea. This is a disorder characterized by cessation of breathing during sleep. It's often caused by obesity and genetic factors. It can increase the risk for daytime sleepiness, depression, and even heart disease. It can be detected via sleep study. This can even be done at home. The most common method of treatment is a machine that blows air into the throat and keeps the tissues open while sleeping.

BetsyBigNose · 08/06/2019 03:31

YWNBU! Please don't let it worry you so much - I would just get ready quietly in the morning so as not to wake him and perhaps leave him a little note next to the kettle for when he wakes up, along the lines of:

"Morning! Thank you so much for letting me get a few hours sleep last night - it was really kind if you to move to the sofa, but I much prefer it when we're together - if only I hadn't had to get up at silly o'clock... I hope you have a lovely day, I'll see you when I finish work and perhaps we can sleep in the same room tonight (I vote bed not sofa)! xx

This way he'll know you appreciate his 'sacrifice', know that it wasn't your intention that he leave the room, he can be the 'bigger person' at having done his wife a favour that cost him sleeping in his own bed, knows that you're not cross with him, that you're not looking to have an argument about it and that you'll both be back in your own bed - together, as per usual, come tonight. Hopefully this will head off any grumpiness from him and all will be well.

However, if the snoring continues to be an issue, there are these plastic mouth guards you can buy online that you boil in a pan of hot water, then bite down on to cast the shape of your (his) mouth and tongue, then wear to bed each night. My husband used to snore like a herd of wildebeest, but with his mouth guard, it only sounds like one. Or maybe two wildebeest (after he's had a few beers).

qj17 · 08/06/2019 03:38

Don't feel bad. I record my husband and show him in the morning so he feels extra guilty.

StBernard · 08/06/2019 03:45

My husband turns over when I nudge him and hiss 'shhhhhh'. Having said that, sometimes if he's sleeping badly or not feeling 100% he can overreact or react grumpily.

He often snores when he's under the weather (as I'm sure I do!) so maybe that would explain your Dh's mood? Try let it go and sort it out after you've both had a sleep.

getback · 08/06/2019 04:49

Morning! Thank you so much for letting me get a few hours sleep last night - it was really kind if you to move to the sofa, but I much prefer it when we're together - if only I hadn't had to get up at silly o'clock... I hope you have a lovely day, I'll see you when I finish work and perhaps we can sleep in the same room tonight (I vote bed not sofa)!

Please don't validate his rude and unpleasant reaction by doing this!

I wouldn't bother with the niceties next time. If he's going to overreact what's the point? Just lean over him and hiss "Roll over you are keeping me awake"

justilou1 · 08/06/2019 04:54

I have had 17 years of this. I have recorded him and sent him the files.... no response. I have recorded him -with the volume in decibels and a list of things the same volume, which included banned Fisher Price Toys, a 1987 Ford with a hole in it’s muffler speeding at 98 kph, a Boeing taking off at 5:47am, and my favourite - a sound-proofed church playing gospel music and rock bands. Personally, I am ready to inflict pain as some kind of snoring aversion therapy.

FionasWineShow · 08/06/2019 05:03

I just give DH a gentle touch and he kindly rolls over. No harm, no foul.

WhereDoesThisToiletGo · 08/06/2019 05:25

Mine got "roll over" (whispered) then "roll over" (not whispered) then a firm but gentle push last night

Lastbustowhitehawk · 08/06/2019 05:29

Total overreaction from him, you did nothing wrong. I often nudge DH and he's now so used to it that he apologises in his sleep whilst rolling over! Shame I can't do the same with DS (10 weeks) who is on the other side of me and snores like a jet engine Hmm

loutyre · 08/06/2019 05:52

My DH snores and if I ask him...just as politely as you...to roll over I get my head bitten off. Iv had to take myself downstairs to sleep on the sofa 3 times this week

yellowgreenbluepurple · 08/06/2019 05:59

If DH is snoring I poke him to turn over, if that doesn't work I banish him to the sofa 😁 He used to moan at me so one night I recorded him so he could see how ridiculous it was - since then he just goes when I tell him 😂

Minai · 08/06/2019 06:12

Yanbu. You are a lot politer than me. I usually give him a nudge and hiss ‘will you just stop fucking snoring ffs’. I get so annoyed because he rolls over but then rolls back again a minute later and starts up again. And then wakes the baby up and I have to deal with thats

LadyRannaldini · 08/06/2019 06:15

Seems to me that you got a good result, no more snoring yet you still find reasons to stay awake! Being on a screen won't help at all, you need to make some effort too. Hope you get up OK!

roundligament · 08/06/2019 06:23

Wax ear plugs from boots called muffles
Split them in to two pieces and warm up in hand then pop in ears
I wanted to murder my husband for his snoring
Now I sleep beside him and it's good

LazyDaisy29 · 08/06/2019 06:47

Thank you everyone, it’s more his attitude that’s annoyed/upset me! I’m upset he’s made me feel like I do! I laid here for an hour after working myself up and feeling upset that’s why I came on my phone to get it off my chest and a little clarification I’m not out of order! He will do one of 2 things act like nothing happened or sulk!
Maybe I’m blowing this out of proportion but I am fed up of feeling bad around him ☹️

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