If you left an abusive marriage how long did it take you to get your life back?

[OhioOhioOhio]

And when did you realise you were ready for a new relationship?

Almost instantly with regard to getting my life back, 19 months to feel ready to start dating again.

How are you feeling OP?

I'm ready I think. But still not divorced. Id love an exclusive relationship with someone who had the same time restrictions that I have.

Almost 3 years (emotional abuse).

It was nearly 2 years to get the legal/financial stuff sorted and into a home of my own, so that was only the start point really. After about 6 months I started processing the emotional impact and have had some therapy over several months which has helped a lot.

As for dating...meh. I feel like I'd be ready if the universe sent someone my way and something evolved naturally, but my life as it stands doesn't present many opportunities for that to happen.

I am not remotely interested in online dating - have done some 'window shopping' but it's just not for me. That may change in the future but I've got a busy life and am really very happy as am tbh.

A couple of years to get my life on track, but I did have small children so limited time and energy to work on myself.

It's been 5 years and I am not interested in another relationship. Probably never will be. I like putting myself and my kids first and I'm unwilling to compromise, ever.

It took me a few years to get life back on track, I found the first year really difficult. Ive been single 10 years now. Another relationship, realistically that's never going to happen and it is lonely at times, but my children have to come first. I made such a error of judgement with my ex, it's not s mistake I am prepared to make and it would be a long time before I could consider letting a man near my home and children.

What do you mean by life on track exactly? In terms of career or more like feeling like yourself again? Feeling somewhat normal and ready to take on the world's challenges?

I was ready for a new relationship very soon but that said, I knew I needed time to process and understand and accept what had happened to me. That took years.

Posted too soon..

It took me a long time because following the breakdown of my marriage I also lost myself and in turn my then career and lifestyle as it was all tied up.

What I've found the most important thing is, is to look at it as more of a journey than a specific time-frame. You need to be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come.

Depending on your particular circumstance then things would be different. If you had children and a long marriage, or what your life was like during the relationship and what it looks like now etc etc

Ready to date again after 18 months

Felt I got my life back after 3 years when the divorce and child arrangements were finally sorted and court order meant no more harrassment .

Hope you're ok op.

About 5 years. I tried dating sooner but realised that I wasn't ready when I repeatedly made the same toxic choices.

I hope you're okay op , just make sure that you take your time and make healthy decisions.

I felt free the second the door closed on his sorry arse.

However, 11 years on, I am still single and not even considering thinking about the possibility of dating.

I can't believe that a strong, independant, intelligent woman could put up with the ridiculous amount of shit that I did, and until I figure out why, I wouldn't dare try again.

Having said that, the last 11 years have been brilliant. I've done things I would never otherwise have done, have loads of friends, gone back to college (again) and finally have the career I want.

I am missing out on nothing

Many years of EA.

I started divorce proceedings March 2016, divorced Aug 2017, finally got him out of house Oct 2017.

Still recovering. Life is much better but my MH has taken an absolute hammering.

I'd like to have sex but am no way ready for a relationship.

I was with my XH from 25 to 36. Formative adult years. Looking back the emotional/financial/sexual and occasional physical abuse was alarming.
I am 11 years down the line and I have had some relationships but my trust in myself has gone.
Like a previous poster though my life is immeasurably better and happier. I have a wonderful like with my 2 DD's and would find it difficult to have a serious relationship I suspect.
Flings and sex are easily found

Actually - I'm a year out FWIW, it's coming up for 3 years since he moved out.

I'd like to have sex but am no way ready for a relationship.

I know what you mean but I've found Love Honey and a vivid imagination a pretty decent substitute!