To think friends disappear with life changes?

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

AIBU or paranoid, or is this a thing?

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm really hurt to be honest and wondering if I've done something wrong. I have been a single parent for 6 years now, but I've recently bought a house with my partner. We are really happy. The house is a nicer one than the one I previously owned and in a better area, a lovely little village. The children are all happy here. However since I moved, 3 friends have become really distant with me. Two of those friends are single, so I don't know if they feel the dynamic has changed because I'm in a relationship, but I still want my friends. I've tried to arrange meet ups, but they either cancel on me at the last minute or just don't reply. Or reply a week later with something flimsy. It's too much effort keeping it up now, but I feel really sad. I don't know what to put it down to, other than my life change. The 3 friends don't know each other and so it can't be anything I've done to them I don't think.
It's hard to address it directly without appearing petulant.

Yes I've found this to be a thing. 3 types of friends - friends for a reason, friends for a season, friends for a lifetime.

I've never had the last type but other people do

Maybe they are hurt. Feel left behind or reminded of what they might like. Give it time. Try not to be sad and play the long game. Meanwhile try and enjoy your new life xxx congratulations xxx

Yanbu at all op. Some people just dont like it when you succeed in your own life. We went through the very same thing. DH and I moves abroad, just us two knowing no one. During that time we were able to travel extensively. At the same time we started losing friends back home. We eventually moved back home and were able to afford a dream home in a very sought after area. Seems it pissed people off.
So while we were losing friends, no one thought about the sacrifices we made being so far away. Only a handful of genuinely good people stood by us.

That makes sense. People can be so weird. I have one friend who's stuck by me and I now know she's a real friend. I was all exciting about showing people my new house and having people over and it was disappointing to find no one seemed bothered. I've struggled financially and emotionally for years with 3 DC and as life has got easier, they've just vanished.

YANBU. I suffered a life changing injury and had to stop working. Colleagues I’d been friendly with for 20plus years never even got in touch. I’ve since met a few and they tried to suggest coffee etc but frankly they are several years too late.

It seems to happen with both positive and negative changes.

3 types of friends - friends for a reason, friends for a season, friends for a lifetime

I really like this and it's so true!

3 types of friends - friends for a reason, friends for a season, friends for a lifetime

Yes, this is very true. I haven't had the latter although that's partly through choice.

It will be jealousy OP.

It's not necessarily jealousy or anything you've done - the clue is in the title of your first post - life changes. And it does.

I'm single, no kids, and my friendships with my mates have ebbed and flowed as their lives have changed. To be honest, they've changed more as people have found partners, rather than had kids. I don't have parents, or kids, or a partner, so my friends are very much a priority to me. But, when they partner up, I become an option, rather than a priority to them. And that's ok - I totally understand it, and it's how it should be. So I've always taken a step back, kept them as friends, but not been in touch as much (although not ghosted - just realising they have different priorities now) and made new friends in addition. We still keep in touch, and meet from time to time, but it won't be the way it was. The trick is to recognise the change, and adapt accordingly.

It's really horrible, though I guess it's a good filter.

I think I've tried to still include my friends though. I think it's their perception now I've a partner, if that makes sense. Because I've been single for so long, my friends are really important and I'm the one who's done the chasing.