To what extent should a mother influence her young daughter's contraceptive choices?

[malificent7]

Dd is only 10 so not an issue yet but I am thinking ahead to the teenage years.
I started the pill at about 16 and although effective in stopping pregnancy I remember the panic if i forgot and also i am sure the hormones fucked my head up.
The best for me do far has been the copper coil...brilliant and no hormones. The only thing is the heavy bleeding at first which has whittled down to very light bleeds and no period pains. Heavy bleeding is not appealinv to many girls.
The Mirena coil sounds awful and i cant trust men to use condoms etc.
Aibu to have a frank discussion when the time comes? I am well aware though that ones woman's favourite contraception is another woman's idea of hell.
I dont want to be too involved as its cringy for her but i want to know she can ask my advice.

I didn't influence DD at all, I simply went through each type and the pros and cons, gathering information online. Because what suits me may not have suited her as we're all different.

We both suffer from very heavy periods, so primarily she was looking for something to help with that, and ended up using a Jaydess coil. Has reduced the pain and bleeding to some extent, and that's a big bonus.

I don’t know in all honesty, it’s something I’m also worrying about for my two DD’s in the future who are 8 and almost 7. I’m kinda hoping a better contraceptive exists by that stage. The pill isn’t effective enough, it’s just too easy to forget them. I’m not sure many teenage girls would feel up for the coil tbh and I had the implant once, it was bloody awful.

Not at all. It’s fine to share your own experiences but it is their body and their decision to make

Give your daughter all the facts and let her make her own mind up, but make sure she understands that the Pill has a higher failure rate than the implant or coil because women can forget it or have D&V etc. Personally I think the Mirena coil is a great choice - the risk of pregnancy is tiny, and most women's periods get lighter or go away completely. The implant is also very popular with teenage girls.

In this country, lots of women seem to be squeamish about coils, so if you can be positive about your coil then that will probably be really helpful to her.

Why does the mirena sound awful? It's the same hormones as any other hormonal contraceptive and inserted the same as the copper coil (which gave me horrendous bleeding compared to mirena where I pretty much have no bleeding at all).

Anyway, I'll be telling DD what her options are, pros and cons and letting her decide.

DD talks to me about it and she finds it confusing re all the options
She gets migraines so she has asked me to come with her when she goes to see someone. She is 16 but hasn’t gone to see anyone yet for the pill

DD14 I have spoken to but she is not interested quite yet

They also know my own experiences of contraception as I have gynae issues so I talk about it to them

No forcing or influencing just chatting

I always had terrible side effects from hormonal birth control. I absolutely used my experiences when discussing birth control with my DDs.
One did decide to try the injection, and had the same issues. Which didn't surprise me, she has always been a mini me when it came to her reproductive health ( pms, painful ovulation etc). She now uses barrier methods of bc.
My other DD is in a same sex relationship atm, so it's not an issue for now ( she is Bi, so may change in the future, she has had male partners in the past)
I've also given them both the heads up re PNI as I really suffered. So i want them to be aware, and feel able to seek support.

How things work /worked for you does not mean they will be the same for your DD...
at the time do the research...implants are a popular choice for young women as they are less stress and lots and lots do not have any consequences..
between myself and friends we've all tried different at times..... however whichever method they use pleas make sure the use condoms as well - the rise in STI's is massive..

Not at all

By all means have discussions, give accurate fact based information rather than personal experience and be there and make it clear no matter what you will support any choices made. You can’t have any actual influence though

What sounds awful about the Mirena?

We've discussed the various options, and their pitfalls and failings.

One thing I have impressed on them is always use two, count 'em, two forms of contraception, one of them being a condom. Because it's not just pregnancy, it's STD's too..

The advice they get from school and from the NHS will be based on the assumption that teenagers are not very responsible and are very likely to have sex. My friend's daughter got the copper coil before she had ever had sex because it was so heavily encouraged by the attitudes among her friends and discussions with the very friendly and skilful nurse at their school. She has now had it for a year and still hasn't had sex.

I think this is actually terrible. I hate it that women are so encouraged to do quite extreme things to their bodies, which have some pretty serious consequences. I also think it is terrible that the cervical cap (for instance) is not even mentioned to teenagers, because it is considered too unreliable, whereas when used scrupulously it is actually a very good method of birth control, which has no side effects.

@Butterymuffin

IMO it’s an invasive procedure for a young girl who has never had so much as any kind of intimate examination

I have real concerns about effect of Hormonal contraception and the new long acting things you can't just stop off they don't agree with you. Research indicates that the effect on younger girls - teens etc might be particularly bad. Increasing MH issues in girls, many possible reasons prob a combination but I think the impact of artifical hormones is played down as its so useful for teen girls not to get pregnant (and the responsibility is, as ever, on the female).

Having said that they are fine for some people, it's up to them. Mine are younger now but it will come and I'll talk to them and help them decide I suppose.

Re mirena is marmite, some women love it some get bad side effects. I was in second category, then strings went awol and I had to have a general to get it out. Plenty of threads on here with different mirena experiences. I would hesitate to say a girl should have it, also I had 2 kids but never in labour, they had a hell of a job getting it in, I wouldn't think that's great for a girl either v invasive unpleasant prob painful, cervix never had anything through it before. Consultant who examined me when strings awol said your cervix v tight closed they must have had a hell of a job getting it in was it bad and I said, yes.

there's also discussing that sex does not have to include PIV and it's perfectly possibly to have a good sex life without it.

it’s an invasive procedure for a young girl

But the copper coil isn't?

I’m not the Op I never said it was any different to the copper

I said that coil insertion is invasive

Influence? Never.

Educate? Always.

Personally I think it is best to explain what each kind of contraception is, without bias, and explain benefits and possible problems/side effects. But also to say that once you try most contraception it is not a problem to try a different one if the first doesn't suit. (Apart from things like the hormone injection, that has to wear off naturally, so would recommend oral contraceptives to try out the hormones before considering the injection).

I would emphasize that it is my dc's choice and they shouldn't be forced into a form of contraception they don't want, not by me, a partner, health professional etc. They have the choice and it is their choice, so e.g. if they want to use condoms and a boyfriend doesn't they should not be forced into the pill/iud/ius for them. If the boyfriend won't use condoms they don't get sex.

I have 4 sons so they have fewer options than daughters would have, e.g. no oral contraception etc so need to approach slightly differently myself though. They need to respect their partners wishes.

Hi again...i guess ive had my own bad experiences with hormonal contraception and i have read on here that it makes some women have mental health issues. Hormones make me have these issues so i would worry for dd.
The copper coil is invasive but not as invasive as going through a medicalised labour ! I guess information is key.

I researched myself at 16 and made the choice for myself when I was ready and the GP agreed with me on my choice for my age and reasons

Cassia agree re PIV

Copper coil can make periods heavier I think?

I don't think coil as first choice contraception for teen appropriate no. It can be pretty awful getting them in if you've not had kids ime although I had a convo with someone the other day apparently they are being pushed now across the board not sure what changed.

As PP said getting a girl to have a coil inserted when she's never even had a smear I mean it's v invasive isn't it.

I think on balance my message would be

Condoms always
If back up good idea then not long term options to start as if they don't suit you are stuck with them.

Women on threads here being on verge of cutting out arm ones due to MH impact and doc don't remove it