About nervous horses on public roads

[pinkcardi]

AIBU that nervous and skittish horses shouldn't be on public roads.

I live in a small village with a stables in it. The village has a very narrow road and sections without pavements.

Today I was walking my DC in the pram. We went to look, from a distance, at the horses at the stable (allowed and encouraged by the owner who we know) On the way home two horses were walking a bit behind us.

At our drive I stopped the pram, pulled it up about 8 m from the road and stopped to watch the horses go past. We do this regularly, the children know not to move about etc. Never had any issues. No bright colours, no movement, DC being quiet.

First horse went past fine, second had a massive panic and wasn't entirely in control. The rider shouted that he didn't like the pram, so I hastily pulled it back out of sight. Lady implied it was my fault for being there, on my own drive, with the pram. Horse then calmed down and off they went.

But if a horse is this nervous of a very ordinary thing, surely it shouldn't be on the road. What if we'd been walking on the road and couldn't hide away? Or if a bright tractor went past, group of cyclists, children playing noisily in their garden, someone chainsawing??

I guess AIBU that a horse this sensitive shouldn't be on public roads? Or was I at fault for stopping to watch?

A pram is a very common sight so YANBU. If the horse can't cope with every day objects, then the rider was very foolish to put the animal in such a preventable situation. There could have been a very different outcome. It wasn't safe for rider, horse or pedestrians.

The problem is, there’s only one way to get a horse used to being out on the roads, and that’s to take them out on the roads. And if you can’t take a horse on the roads then they’re pretty useless.

Horses will only get used to different situations by being exposed to them - but the rider needs to be in control of the horse and the situation. This one wasn't.

And if you know your horse hates a particular object, then you expose it to them in a controlled and controllable environment to desensitise them.

My god. The horse got spooked, it happens. The rider identified what spooked it. No reason to suggest the horse is nervous or shouldn't be out.

My placid old boy gets spooked at his own feed bucket sometimes.

Yes, good point, I can see that they need to be exposed in order to not be nervous.

I think it was the implication of my fault that I didn't like, the attitude of the rider that I shouldn't be there with a pram at all.

She was probably just sounding a bit panicked because she was on a horse who was having a meltdown, I don’t think she was implying that you were in the wrong by being there.

My horse is 20 years old and can be a right tit. 99% of the time he’s fine, but then can just randomly pretend to be terrified of something e.g a cardboard box or a field of cows. They’re living creatures and can be unpredictable.

I think it was the implication of my fault that I didn't like, the attitude of the rider that I shouldn't be there with a pram at all.

^ This part is only what you felt not what the rider said. The rider said (from your OP) that its the pram that spooked him. Maybe it's unusual for that horse to spook so the rider was a bit taken-aback and spoke abruptly?

Ha ha, well looks like I was being ridiculous and making a mountain out of a molehill.

Will retreat to a cup a tea and consider myself chastened

Did the rider actually say "you shouldn't be there with a pram" or were they just panicking a bit with a nervous horse and came across a bit short?

OK cross-posted, didn't mean to pile on :)

What did the rider actually say?

I can see how it looks to a non-rider, but I agree with other posters that an inexperienced horse only gains experience by going out and about. You can also have a horse that’s seen a pram every day of its life and yet suddenly takes against one for no apparent reason. They’re flight animals and their brains are programmed to look for threats.

No, I understand what you mean OP! It's a bit like when I got confronted by a mob of dogs, and a particularly large one stood and growled at me, and the owner looked at me accusingly and said 'well he's never done that before'!

I think perhaps the rider was feeling flustered and defensive because she was having trouble controlling her horse. I've been in that situation and yes, you can sometimes sound a bit curt when you're trying to get half a ton of neuroses to settle the hell down. . .

I just think the rider was focusing on the horse and not on communicating politely etc. After all it was a "dangerous" situation that rider needed to get under control urgently.

Horse owner here! Just wanted to say "thank you" op for pulling off to one side and letting the horses go past and for teaching your DC to be quiet and still.

Sorry the skittish horse owner shouted at you. She probably was a bit panicked and had her hands full but she should have tried to apologise or at least thank you for pulling over.

It is scary having to use busy roads on a young or nervous horse and most horse owners don't do it unless they absolutely have to (many bridleways closed so there is not always an alternative). And as other posters have said, sometimes ordinarily calm horses just have a bad day or an unusual spook at something! They are not always predictble unfortunately.

My horse got spooked at the trees on the edge of the sandschool three weeks ago. They have been there for longer than the horse has. She’s also spooked at the wind, and a twig that touched her bum After she shoved the branch aside.

Horses and ponies are prey animals, they are naturally spooky. There are very few totally bombproof horses about and you never know on any given day what they are going to take offence to. You can train them as best you can and try and control them but ultimately they will just react as they will.

So in a way yabu. This happens.

I used to do bombproof training in the yard before taking them out on the road. You don't actually have to get them used to every different type of scary object but they do have to learn to trust your opinion on new 'threats', and its safest they learn to do that in a controlled environment.

The problem is, its basically Handy Pony, which is seen as a children's activity and many adults make any excuse under the sun to avoid it.

Sounds like the rider maybe got a bit wound up and sounded more abrupt than necessary, but I wouldn't take it to heart. Enjoy your tea

*mbosnz

No, I understand what you mean OP! It's a bit like when I got confronted by a mob of dogs, and a particularly large one stood and growled at me, and the owner looked at me accusingly and said 'well he's never done that before'!*

Yes exactly! The number of times my DH, who's an ex postie, has said this has happened to him. Mostly little lovely innocent looking terriers that suddenly turn rabid when they someone enters their property!

Horses can be absolutely fine with traffic but prams are a different kettle of fish, my old horse was terrified of prams, it's actually a fairly common thing. However she was bombproof with any other traffic. Prams are actually a very rare sighting on our country lanes do they don't get used to them easily

I had a pony (aptly named Tizzy) who would have a fit of the most dramatic vapours, all performed balletically on her two hind legs, if she came across a pig. Every fricking road we lived near had pigs on it. It didn't matter how much training I did with her, she saw, smelled, heard (or imagined) a pig, and it was all on.

As the proud owner of a large horse who spooks at his own farts, I wouldn’t take it personally OP. They are unpredictable creatures and I don’t think either you or the rider were in the wrong.

It's one of those. Mine is sane and will stand rock solid when lorries/factors go past. However humans standing by a bicycle are terrifying as they should be ON the bicycle, stupid human

But it may have been the horse was wound up at something previously and the pram was a trigger to get wound up again

Yanbu, but I would say that even a horse which is generally very reliable can unexpectedly freak out about a specific thing. Mine is usually bombproof but had an absolute meltdown once at some hay bales wrapped in black plastic. No idea why, but he was really frightened.

The lady probably didn’t mean to imply that it was your fault - I expect she was just anxious about the situation.

If it’s happening frequently though I would raise it with the stables.

I agree that a rider should be able to control the horse in situations when the horse becomes spooked. As people have said, they can, for some reason, take offence at things that don't normally bother them. My horse has no issues with prams. But we met one she did, and she was genuinely scared. But I know exactly what to do in that situation and all was safe. I also apologised to the lady with the Pram that my horse was being a buffoon and what I was doing to ensure all was well. Safety is paramount!

Every horse I meet takes exception to my very boring grey pushchair. I tend to stand very still and apologise profusely now. My friends rainbow cosatto contraption is invisible to horses though