Grandparent access

[Scaredparents]

Hello,

First post. I've not been in contact with my narcissistic parents in over 5 years. I never want to hear or see from them again EVER. They have always been mentally & physically abusive towards me & even towards my husband. Since going NC we've felt liberated. We've been able to achieve so much more (before they held us back with the mental abuse).

We recently got married in january, and I gave birth to our child in February. They know nothing about us. BUT we are worried if they find out about our child they will try to gain access. This would quite frankly be dangerous and darn right stupid! I'm sure we are panicking over nothing. Anyone able to reassure me on this? We surely have the upper hand.

Thanks

If you’re in the UK they cannot gain access.
People misunderstand what “grandparents rights” are. Essentially they don’t have any at all, except in extenuating circumstances such as they helped to raise the child, have had custody of the child for long periods or if the child is being put up for adoption against their wishes.
Even in those circumstances it still is simple or easy for them to gain access to grandchildren if it’s against the express wishes of the parents.

You have literally nothing to worry about

still isn’t simple I meant

For grandparents to get access theiugh legal channels they have to establish that they had an established relationship with the child that would be beneficial for the child to continue to have. If they looked after your child 3 times a week for say years and you then stopped access they may have a case. In your circumstances they don't.

If you're in the UK then you have nothing to worry about. They have no legal right to do anything with your child. It's entirely up to you who they spend their time with.

I am almost in the same situation as you OP.
As far as I have understood, almost in every country including the UK you have to prove as GPs that there was so called ‘ family life’. If the child was unborn when you went NC (in my case) they can try to gain access by trying to prove that they were hugely involved in the pregnancy. In my case, they were stupid enough to send me abusive emails during pregnancy which ironically I am happy now for that as they serve as ammunition in case the *ssholes want to try to claim my DC.

In your case, 5 years NC, I wouldnt worry but if you have sleepless nights over it, it doesnt hurt to consult a lawyer about this issue.

They have absolutely no chance of getting access, don’t worry.

Like PP have said they would have no legal rights in the UK. If they brought up your child for 2 years because you were unable to do so, then you took the child away and refused access they'd have a legal argument that they should have access. In your case there is absolutely no argument they could make to gain access to your child.

OP, in any lawsuit for cases like these, the judge will always decide in the best interest of the child.
If parents have custody and the judge sees that they want the best for their DC and the GPs have been hardly or not involved at all in the child’s life, its very unlikely they will get access.
People dont go NC with their parents for no reason. What helped me dealing with my anxiety about this apart from reading about the law and keeping evidence (the abusive emails that I mentioned before) is to collect and write down memories of my childhood and adult life that can prove how abusive they are. Its not a pleasant thing to do but it can give you peace of mind because your memories are written down and no longer only available in your head. If they try to get access you can give these papers to a lawyer tomorrow.

There is no such thing as ‘grandparents rights’ do not give this another thought