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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed with DH?

7 replies

ZorbeeAndTheLemur · 07/06/2019 01:19

DH has a habit of either starting large DIY jobs and leaving them half done for months or even years, or doing a DIY job and throwing himself into it at the expense of family life, household chores etc.

A few months ago he decided he wanted to extend our house. I wasn't keen for above reasons and because I didn't feel the need but eventually agreed on the condition that he got builders in to do everything including project manage the build.

Several months down the line and the extension has been under way for months but DH hasn't kept to his word and is insisting on doing lots of it himself. He gets builders in to do some of it but then helps them himself, and does all kinds of jobs himself on it every evening which involves lots of complaining, banging, huffing and swearing.

I am getting more and more fucked off as he has completely opted out of family life and home life for months now, leaving me to do everything. He is constantly in a foul mood and moaning about how tired he is. We run a business together from home and he just goes off outside to work with builders or to do extension work and leaves it all to me. He also keeps trying to get me to help in the evening even though I have things to do, then when I do help he's bad tempered and snappy at me.

I've got a cough tonight and have come downstairs to take cough medicine, have a drink and try to feel a bit better before I go back to bed and he's just come downstairs to have a go at me for coughing at 1am. This is from a bloke who snores so fucking loudly all night, every night!

He'll be up in the morning working with the builders whilst being moody and uncommunicative with me all day. The house is full of fucking mess and dust from the work.

AIBU to be pissed off? I can't take another few months of his constant moods and moaning!

OP posts:
Eliza9919 · 07/06/2019 01:24

I'm surprised the builders put up with that. It will probably be a violation of their insurance or something.

Bollockwort · 07/06/2019 01:36

Tell him either he lets the professionals complete the build (complete with project management) or he has to accompany you to marriage counselling. This is completely unreasonable of him - his actions are delaying the build and are causing stress to his family just to save a few pennies and boost his own ego.

YANBU

EKGEMS · 07/06/2019 01:40

I just can't get past "Having a go at you for coughing at 1 am" My god the dust stirred up from the extension probably contributed to the cough! Pack up your bags and take the kids and check into a hotel until when/if your idiot husband relinquishes his control of the project

Flyingkites123 · 07/06/2019 02:34

You really have every right to be pissed off. Sorry sir know what to suggest you do, but support your pissed-off-Ness

CalmdownJanet · 07/06/2019 06:15

I bet the builders are just as pissed off with him Smile

Homedecornovice · 07/06/2019 07:16

My DH gets really stuck into DIY projects too but it is stuff that benefits the whole family so I think it's fair. My DC are teens though and pretty independent. I am happy to sort out family/house stuff while he does his projects but we both stop what we're doing at a reasonable time (8:30ish) so we can spend a bit of time relaxing together before bed. I see it that we are both doing our bit towards a common goal. My DH would also find it hard to let others do what he can do himself even though he has a stressful job. Could you agree a set time he does the extension and make sure you have meals/ family time? How old are your DC?

ZorbeeAndTheLemur · 07/06/2019 11:27

He's in an even more foul mood today. Happy weekend to me, hey!

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