First and foremost, my mil and I have a cordial relationship. I don’t dislike/hate her and as far as I know she doesn’t dislike/hate me. I’ve been with her son for nine years and married almost seven. We have two little boys, 4 who we are awaiting a test to see if he has autism and a 20 mo. There has been a bit of friction between dh and his mum after she cancelled on us 15 minutes before we were about to head out to meet his friend and wife despite us asking her almost a month in advance and there being other people there where she would have been alone with them for maybe an hour and us being a 10 min drive away. I said ok and left him to deal with it.
We’re currently on holiday with fil, mil, bil, sil, and their spouses, and children. It’s been great. I planned to do an excursion on my own a few days in advanced near our villa. I asked what the plan was before I left since it had been a barbecue only to be told it was cancelled because the grill was too dirty and there wasn’t enough time to clean it. I said ok I will let you know when I get there and see you when I get back. On my way back, I run into fil and mil and ask what’s going on. MIL says that they decided to all stay in because my hub was on his own with the boys. I was gone for 2 hours 15 minutes and it isn’t the first time he has ever had them on his own. I said ok while internally eye-rolling. I get in and ask my bil’s wife what was going on and she said that fil and mil wanted to go to a certain restaurant and sil had gone there before and hadn’t fancied it and so everyone thought it would just be easier to stay in and order some pizzas.
Mil has already voiced that she thinks our sons are a handful despite having watched them before and telling us that they were good hence the friction from before and has no issue watching her other grandchildren who are of the same age range and are as boisterous if not more than our two from what we’ve seen who are around the same ages. I’m wondering if I should mention it to husband what she said or keep it to myself.
Husband also is doing a bit of overseas business for a week almost every month and continues to ask if I want his mum down for help and I always refuse because I don’t need it (our oldest goes to nursery 5 day a week and she would have to come down from Newcastle while we live outside of Oxford) and definitely wouldn’t want her to now after this. Plus, our sons have been wishy-washy when it comes to her compared to his other family members who they see less often.
Would I be unreasonable to tell husband what his mum said or should I leave it?
If I do, should I also add that I don’t want him asking her for help in anyway unless we’re both on board with it.