AIBU to expect exdp to take children to their clubs?

[Freddiefox]

Ffs ex’s turn with the children next weekend, and he is refusing to take the dc’s to their club and also a birthday party.
I have offered to take them and return them so they don’t miss out.

The party, I checked with him first and he said yes at the time but now it’s upon us, once again he can’t be arsed to make the effort.

The club they attend was a club they started when we were together. He showed zero interest then.
They will lose their place on the team if they don’t attend most of the sessions.

He says that it’s his turn to parent, and he can chose whether they want to go, it’s fuck all to do with me, and he will decide on the day what he will do.

I say that it’s his turn to parent, and that include’s taking the children to their clubs, and that is part and parcel of parenting, and he just needs to stuck it up and if he can’t be bothered then I will facilitate it, and for the party it’s too late to drop out and it’s not fair, he should have thought about it at the time.
I also think whilst it’s his weekend, it’s also their weekend.

Do you have a court order?

how old are they? old enough to make their own decisions about whether they want to go? I would be encouraging them to pester him repeatedly about going to the club and party and not to engage in any other activities he plans instead.

Back to court, get it written into the court order.

My partner had it the other way, as his ex was booking new clubs purely on the weeknights that he had their son the Judge soon put paid to that. You should get support if your children are old enough and attending clubs and parties is a big part of their social life, especially as they were attending historically.

I don't think he is legally obliged to do this, but of course any normal, reasonable person would want their children to be able to attend regular clubs. It depends a bit how far away he lives, obviously. Unreasonable if he's a couple of hours away.

No there’s no court order.

It’s interesting about whether they have a choice tbh, the older one can become a bit anxious before the club, he’s does suffer with anxiety and needs a bit of encouragement. I’ve made it clear to him he can leave at any time, just not on the day or the club as that’s his nerves talking. He always comes out happy and has a sense of achievement afterwards. But a couple of times ex has said dc doesn’t want to play so shouldn’t and hasn’t taken him.
I think if thats the argument he is using then when they don’t want to go to his house at the weekend, I shouldn't encourage them.

I also think that it’s important that they feel part of something.

Unfortunately a judge would deem (ime) time with the absent dp more worthy...