Blatantly ignored .. partners response

[Alfiesmom15]

So today I went up to my local town on lunch break and I saw a member of my partners family, I said hiya you alright (as anyone would) and she literally put her head up in the air and stomped past me. So I text my partner, baffled.... he text her... she text back saying she didnt and then again ten mins later telling him I'm pathetic just because I saw her doesnt mean she saw me... (I could literally touch her she was that close she did see me and this isn't the first time she blatantly ignored me) now it's all whatever they dont like me I can live with that, its annoying but whatever... my aibu is my partners response was... I'm not taking sides I'm piggy in the middle I was just asking come and see me I havent seen you in ages..... how would any of you take that message?? I dont see any backing here on my behalf basically I would read that as a dismissive text it's not believed and how little I'm thought off... surely someone you have been in a relationship with for 6 years would have my back a little more...

I had an ex that my DM really didn't like. And he didn't like her. I felt like piggy in the middle like your DP does. When talking to DM I would defend my ex and tell her she was wrong. When talking to ex I would defend DM and tell him to back off.
I had his back. I was trying hard to get her to change. But at the end of the day she's my DM and I couldn't hear her being bad mouthed by anyone without defending her. So he probably felt like you do. That I was dismissing his feelings and not sticking up for him.

Any chance that this is the case for your DP? That he fights your corner with his family but equally he feels the need to defend/downplay his family's awful behaviour?

I dont feel like they think they're better I know that's what they think... (hes always had nice things before he got with me maybe should get out of my lowly paid job to make sure hes got nice holidays every year, if we had more money we could go on holiday to places where upper class people go (what's wrong with Greece?)... if people like them didnt buy new cars the likes of me wouldn't be able to buy a second hand car.... mind sons name I want to take a picture with all my grandchild OUR SON.... when do you think you will have a nice house like mine? (My house is a modest 3 bed house I didnt realise I needed more? Its clean and well decorated what more do I need?) this isn't me trying to cause a issue out of a mole hill.... she blatantly ignored me (last time she walked to the opposite side of the town centre and looked at the ceiling, another time she ducked her head and ran past me) when did it become I should just accept that being treated like that is the norm? I'm a human being I deserve to be treated as such..... why am I sat in the car on my own because after reading all this I'm concerned about telling my partner how it all makes ME feel because clearly it's all unvalidated? I have no right to be upset about it because I'm the one who said hello and i shouldn't have (that's manners but hey ho) why should anyone be treated with respect in any relationship?

Texting is useless though. It really is. There's no tone, no body language, no facial expression, no room for sensible discussion. It almost always makes things worse when the participants aren't in each others' presence. Standing in the middle of a shop getting a text out of nowhere at a bad time, accusing you of bad behaviour is hardly going to go anywhere positive.

Hes aware if how they have been and he does down play it.... I'm aware of how of a difficult situation it is.... I dont want them to fall out, i down want a argument or a big deal made out of anything.... just once I wish he would of said... hey that's my partner treat he as such.... but he hasnt and now I'm sat here thinking I cant go through another 6 years of being made to feel like this... its degrading dont I deserve a scrap of respect? Surely after all this time.... I'm really considering alot right now and I dont know how much more I can put up with... you know can I really be a single mom just because his family wont accept me? But the it's more complex than that isn't it

You need to spell it out exactly how badly you feel when this occurs then. And I’m really sorry your in this situation.

Would it help if I (a random stranger) tells you she’s obviously an utter bitch to ignore you! Your partner really does need to understand quite how much you’re taking his families casual dismissal of you to heart. Ps I love Greece but I’m not “posh” and I don’t want to be

Look, a halfway decent partner who loved you would have defended you and stood up for you long ago.
This guy doesn't and never will.

In an ideal world you would be able to say hello to his family and be treated with respect or at least civility.

An ideal partner would have shown how much he loves and respects you by standing up to this bullshit from day one.
You don't live in an ideal world so yes, life is unfair sometimes and you have the choice to either suck up the situation or walk away.
You don't have the ideal partner so you have the choice to either accept he won't change - or leave him.

It's your choice to stay in this fucked up dynamic with your partner.
It's your choice that you keep begging for crumbs from people who have very blatantly told you that they don't give a shiny shit about you.

You can't change anyone else's behaviour or thinking - just your own.
So be done with the 'woe is me' attitude and get a grip!

when did it become I should just accept that being treated like that is the norm?
It isn't the norm and you don't have to accept it.

I'm a human being I deserve to be treated as such....
I agree with you.

I'm sorry if i come across as sounding harsh.
Having been through similar - but from my own blood family - the only way to get peace is to leave the toxic people behind.
These kind of people will NEVER treat you like a human being deserving of even the basic respect.....because they are too damaged/don't have that kind of humanity.

I'm not going to suggest you "suck it up" or "forget it" but more that you take control of the situation. For whatever reason she doesn't like you so don't expect anything else, don't go out of your way to speak to her, don't mention it to your DP, just block her out unless she directly speaks to you-and in that circumstance take the high ground and be polite.

She's possibly trying to force your DP hand, it's likely she wouldn't view anyone as being good enough for her brother-take no notice...but take no shit either!!