To be pissed off with colleague?

[Flutra]

In work in an office. There is one other person in my department who is slightly above me but doesnt have any management responsibilities whatsoever. We both are line managed by the executive team.

My colleague has always been a little pushy and bossy, but also quiet and sensitive so others who don't work so closely with her don't see this. They just see her sweet side.

Anyway, the bossiness and pushiness has recently ramped up lately. At the moment, the stress is off the wall, workloads are crazy and so I may be overreacting.

Today, I told her I had been sending a generic email out to people interested in a service we offer. I am really good with words and so my email sounds fine. She then said that she had already drafted an email ready to send out and forwarded it to me for me to then use. I had already sent out over 300 emails by this point but its so pissed me off that she's pushing me to do things her way all the time. I feel stifled, resentful and I'm starting to hate her. Aibu?

Just reply 'I was only letting you know the email had already been sent, sorry you misunderstood, hope you didn't spend too long on this!'.

YABU but you sound really stressed.

With someone like this I would say thanks and then continue to send my own email, unless hers is better. She doesn't manage you - what's she going to do about it?

I would focus on what you can do to alleviate the workplace pressure and take care of yourself. I suspect that causing drama with this colleague will exacerbate your stress levels rather than lowering them.

As per the Big Bang theory 'this is not up for debate, it's an FYI only ' 😆

Whatever you reply don't preface your e-mail with "Sorry." Just say what flumpy said and let it go. That aside, look into how you can better manage your stress.

I agree don’t apologise! Just a “thanks but I’ve had good feedback from mine I won’t be changing the format”. Or just a “ok thanks” is more than sufficient.

I think your levels of stress are making you read more into it than I possibly would.

"Thanks for your suggestions, I've already sent the email out with good results."

No further discussion required. Hope the pressure eases soon

Phanny has it:

"Thanks for your suggestions, I've already sent the email out with good results."

It's polite. Isn't PA - and reinforces your capacity to do your job without her unwarranted input.

I'd just like to add that based on this particular instance it doesn't seem that she's over-bearing or trying to force you to do things her way, unless there are other things that she does. On the face of it - my colleagues and I do suggest things/ideas to each other without it being some sort of 'Mine is better than yours' command.

It sounds to me like she's angling for a promotion and wants to get as much under her jurisdiction as possible.

Definitely agree with above posters to say thanks but not thanks, do not apologise. Make sure any credit from this goes to you.

I've worked with enough people like this to know the warning signs!

Thanks for your replies. She is always very much trying to be super nice and helpful to the big bosses. She's the kind who thinks her way is the right way and makes me feel like she has done today quite a number of times. She actually questioned the way I did my work today. Not in an inquisitive way but in a bitchy way.