to throw a tantrum because dh wont let ds goto school because of a cough/cold?

[privacynomore]

he wants him to sit at home and do tutor work instead.
although he recanted that when i said i couldnt believe what he was saying. school is more important than tutor work. but, ds isnt feeling particularly well, and they are going to be watching films all day today. so i happened to share this with him early in the morning. so he wants him to do tutor work. and i say that if he's too sick to go to school he is far to sick to go to tutor.
and it sort of degenerated from there.

aaaaarrrrggghhhhhhhhh. why doesnt he ever listen. or even look at what is going on around him?

sorry this should be called rant alert.

So did your DS go to school?

What is tutor work? Will he do it at home or go somewhere?

Last days of term are for fun and relaxing with friends, not full on learning.

If too ill for school then too ill to do other work with tutor.

Most coughs and colds are not enough to need time off school. If bad enough should be in bed or relaxing and recouperating. If well enough to do tutor work should be at school.

exactly hulababy. that's what i said. before discussion degenerated into a s creaming match in hallway.
no ds is still at home coz i wont take him whislt dh has expressly forbidden him to go. he has a doctors appointment in fifteen minutes though.
tutor work is the homework the tutor is giving him because he is in year five, and dh wants him to go to a grammar school. ( i do too, but i refuse to allow him to be stressed out the way dh is making him. hothouseing etc)

It's a shame he'll be missing a fun day at school if he's not really all that ill.
If the doctor says he is fine, I'd take him on to school after that, tbh.

Don't understand why DH has forbidden him to go to school.

Is doctor's appointment related? Ask doctor if okay for school. Surely Dh can't argue with the doctor if he/she says it is okay.

Does Ds want to go?

The "expressly forbidden" element wouldn't sit well with me.
Surely your point of view is equally valid - so perhaps leave it up to the medical expert to decide?

RIGHT, my pov isnt valid according to dh.
i am writing all ths down right now before i manage to block it all out.
took ds to the doctors. dr said he was fine. nothing wrong with him. dh sulking all day. asked ds where he was going when i took him to the doctors.
came back from dropping dd off. (he refused to look at me or dd when i was doing her fancy dress makeup for her. she looked adorable little witch) now he has accused me of everything under the sun. i am a terrible mother. never sepend any time with the kids. just dropping them off at beavers or cubs isnt being a proper mother. if i was a proper mother then the boys wouldnt be going to senco. its coz i dont spend anytime with them apparently. his nieces are saints and set for life, whereas my kids are obnoxious and rude because i have exposed them to crap. ds2 is a failure coz he at stage 2 instead of stsage 4 like his peers. he should be doing more academically because it will help hiim feed himself when he is older, not beavers. i should get a job, but as i said, my kids have only one parent as it is, they would be orphans then, he thinks he is the parent because he pays themortgage. i am a party animal because i have been out a few times with friends, and come back drunk. he only goes to pangea once in six months. and on and on and on.
i need God to give me strentgh.

i just want to scream righ tnow. but that is what he wants. to drive me into the screaming place he used to always.

blimey
Does he always say such awful things to you?

this is one of the worse times.
i'm a regular on mn. used to come here crying all the time. was on antidepressants. on my own. no family except useless inlaws etcetcetc.
i'm off the antidepressants. i've lost two stone in weight. i have friends now whom i go out with about once a month. the kdis are growing older. he has started to work from home more. etc etc etc.

It sounds like your DH is very angry about a lot of things.
Would he consider going to the GP to discuss getting some help?

"if i was a proper mother then the boys wouldnt be going to senco."

And exactly how does that work out? So all kids with SN/IN don't have proper mothers????

thanks for listening to me yesterday.
dh has about sixty thousand issues. almost all of which are ego related.
he lashes out at me like this trying to kill my confidence and self esteem. he used to succeed. now he doesnt, so he is worse.
i have a really bad headache which i just cant get rid of. it's the internalising of all the garbage he threw at me yestereday.

fwiw, the senco thing was only intended to belittle my lack of parenting, not sn children in general. (why am i standing up for him?) i had been going on about how i was taking good care of our children with no help or support from him. so he turned that around to bite me. etc etc etc. the spiral goes round and round and round. nothing ever changes.