To be terrified of my possibly poorly baby

[OcreDaisy]

Posting here for traffic. I suffer from emetophobia (phobia of vomiting) and I’m sat up in bed absolutely terrified that my little boy (13 months) is going to be sick. I don’t know what to do. I’m panicking and shaking, it’s awful.

He woke up coughing an hour ago and although he’s still in his cot, I can see on the monitor that his eyes are open and he’s writhing around constantly and moaning. He never does this. He sleeps all night normally, no problem at all. I’m convinced he is unwell.

My husband is away so I have no one to help me with him. Normally he would step in and take the poorly child downstairs and sit with them while I try and help/try not to run away while they are being sick.

I know it sounds ridiculous to anyone not suffering from this phobia, but for me right now this is a nightmare. Please, does anyone have any practical advice to help me get though this?

TIA x

can see on the monitor that his eyes are open and he’s writhing around constantly and moaning

Your child is in pain and needs you. Go get him.

Sorry OP, I don't have any advice but I'm sure someone will be along soon to offer some. People on here are brilliant. Hope your little one gets better soon

Sorry to be unsympathetic, but your child needs you and you are going to have to find the strength to deal with this.

Put some vicks or olbas oil under your nose. Open a window.

Don't delay in going to him if he is sick. You need to make sure he doesn't choke.

Thanks for your replies. I know I need to find the strength to go against my fear. I am checking and it course comforting him, it’s just incredibly scary.

This is one of the worst things I have read on here ever.

You have a phobia of sickness. Your child has not been sick. Your child is showing signs of being in pain yet you are asking how to help yourself?

Does he have a temperature?

Hopefully he won't be sick, but if he is try and channel your inner tiger mama and focus on your son's needs.

Maybe “acting the part”might help? Ie pretend you’re not phobic? My dd had cancer as a baby and lots of scary treatment so I had to act cheerful and upbeat a lot. Good luck.

OP, please ignore people being crappy. Phobias are horrible things, but as awful as it is, and as freezing and horrible as even thinking about it is, you KNOW it isn’t going to harm you. Please go and check on him. If he is sick you will panic, and then take a breath and manage as best you can. But please don’t leave him feeling awful without his mum. You can do this.

Being crappy? The poor child has been constantly writhing about and moaning. He HAS NOT BEEN SICK. The child needs some fucking attention.

I'm not the one being crappy here.

An hour? Get off the internet and go and check on your child ffs.

I’m sorry you have a phobia but it’s been an hour, he hasn’t been sick and is clearly distressed. Either call someone over to help you physically in this moment or get up and do it yourself. You can’t leave a sick child like that.

OP, longer term there is a really good, longstanding thread on Netmums with lots of posters who have a good understanding of your phobia.

I know many e-phobic parents can find simple affirmations spoken out loud to be helpful in situations like these. Eg "my child needs me and my love for them makes me brave" or "I can do what my child needs".

I hope you and your son find a way through tonight.

Baby sick isn't like grown up sick. It's basically milk.

Good luck, you can do this - and it might ease your phobia!

Also, call 111.

My DD has emetophobia, and I’m not underestimating how powerful it can be. But.

You must sort yourself out mentally, and quickly. Do a quick meditation, a mantra, trace your hand with the finger of the other hand. Give yourself a couple of minutes to clear your mind and get your heartrate down.

Then go to your baby, and let your love for him overwhelm your fear.

I had to do this with arachnophobia when my baby was born. I was determined that my DD would not take on this phobia from me. So I trained myself to act swiftly, without overthinking it, when I saw a spider (and I live somewhere with plentiful big spiders). It is possible to do. Sometimes I have to promise myself I’ll be allowed to freak out, but not right now. Deal with the moment in a practical way, motivated by love, then delay the physical reaction until a later time when I can be alone. It’s definitely gotten better for me over time.

Sadly for you, you’re going to have to do some exposure therapy for this. It’s going to be a big part of childhood. You’ll be catching bugs through your kid for a decade. Go to a therapist and get it sorted soon.

But right now, clear your mind and let your Mamma Bear self take over your hands and feet. Get in there.

He’s been with me having cuddles and milk, he’s not hot but red cheeks so have given pain relief in case it is teething. Finally settled him back asleep. Thank you so much for all the positive messages giving helpful advice. 😘

This is awful, if your child is in pain and you can’t deal with it, you need to find someone else who can. Even if you have to go to A&E.

Are you afraid of your own sick too? The baby came from your body, whatever comes out of the baby is pretty much on the same level as being yours.

Whenever I think I can't cope with something and the voice says "I can't do this", I just ask my self "in this moment am I coping? Can I get through this moment? “ and by breaking down the scary into tiny moments I find I get through them.

Maybe mentally try to smash down the big monster of what the sick is: it's food and stomach acid. It's gross but you're bigger than it. You can do it.

Well done fur going to get your little boy that's a great first step!! It'll get easier.

*for

And just to clarify - when I said in my first post that he was in his cot and I could see him on the baby monitor, I was of course also going in and out of his room checking him and comforting him. He wasn’t alone in pain! Thanks again for the kind words from most tonight xx

I have emetophobja too - I feel your pain fully.

If you're so afraid of vomit why did you have a child 🙄🙄

I am also emetophobic. With 3 now grown up DS's. If DH was not around, I found wrapping a whole scarf round my face with perfume on worked. I told them it was my ninja look, as if they were ill, I was the ninja mum to make them better.

It's an awful phobia (all phobias are awful) and no one really understands unless they have a true phobia themselves. Not just a fear but a true phobia. Yes we know it's completely irrational to feel that way but you can't just "un-tell" your brain to not have a phobia anymore. They are very debilitating.