To think if DS was behind by a year 12 months ago....

[Pimperknickel]

And is still a year behind now, that he won't catch up ever??
Or is there seething I'm doing wrong or. Not doing that can catch him up?

DS started nursery at pretty much nag in 3 years. He was estimated to be about a year behind in everything but speech which was even further behind.

He had a huge leap over the last 6 months in speech but we still miss lots of consonants especially at the start and people do struggle massively to understand him. This obvipy impacts on other areas of scho and socialising.

He's recently turned 4 and he's 12 months or so behind on everything. He's 36-50 months emerging for things like maths, 24-36 for literacy, developing or sustained generally, 24-36 emerging for speech.

I just fe like he's never going to catch up or he needs better parents!!

Anyone got any tales of hope? I don't want him growing up knowing he's the most behind in class and whilst we never would, kids know these things.

We discussed holding him back and scho deterred us. I'm thinking this was a mistake.

Do you have good speech resources and a home program to improve his articulation? There are lots of great games and ideas around the internet

I have deferred my 3 year old who was due to start reception in September. It's not too late to do the same if he only turned 4 since Easter. The Facebook group Flexible school admissions for summer borns is really helpful.

I would look into deferring him. Its still possible.

When was your son’s last annual review of EHCP?

If not meeting targets, there needs to be an explanation as to why and support increased/changed.

I think you have to see education as a marathon and not a sprint.
The good thing is the gap hasn't widened.
He has 12 years of schooling ahead. So he only needs to catch up 1 month per year, not do it all in one go.
If you keep plugging away supporting and giving opportunities, then you are giving him the best chance you can.

There are no certainties, so you just do the best you can. Slow and steady. (Parent of adopted DD who was very behind and who now age 14 as more or less caught up.)

Remember their little minds are like sponges they take in more than you realise. My daughter is behind her peers, she is 9 currently at 3-4 across the board with some exceptions because speech had to be a focus as she was non verbal. We used phonics and the hanen more than words approach. She is good at maths and using phonics her reading she leapt beyond her peers. She is ASD, GDD, SPD, hyper mobile and has other medical issues

Looking back I wonder sometimes if it would have been better to defer my child for a year. He had a slight delay in most things and did see a speech and language specialist for a very short while.

In the end, he was given a huge amount of support during primary school, and now as a teen is exceeding targets and has really come into his own - on course for great marks in his exams. He's socially, intellectually and educationally really mature for his age - completely opposite to how he was for the first few years of schooling.

But the first few years at school were tough - he was always behind, always having to run that little bit faster than his classmates. He struggled with friendships as well as he wasn't as socially developed as many of the other children.

It worked out fine in the end, he has a lovely circle of friends now, but I feel, looking back, it would have been so much easier for him to have deferred for a year - he just wasn't ready for reception class when he began.

I think a lot will depend on the extra support that is on offer and how much you can mitigate the 'being behind'. With my son, the school and us as parents just used to constantly reassure and affirm how great DS was for putting in so much hard work. On the plus side, he has a great work ethic now with schoolwork. But I won't lie - it was hard to see him trying so hard and still being behind, where other children just seemed to fly through each stage.

As another poster said though - it is a marathon not a sprint. The best thing to do in my view (if you don't defer) is to try and encourage your DS to enjoy learning and school and try not to focus too much in the first few years about how he compares to his peers.

If you can defer I would - being summer born and slightly behind affect DS much more than my DDs.

I agree with TeenTimesTwo - slow steady little and often and not all at once.

I agree with PP about background noise - at that age jolly phonics songs, programs, alpha blocks and number jacks were all favourites and later they clearly picked things up from Horrible histories and Percy parker for time tables. If we know topic we find TV shoes, days out books along those lines where we can. A lot of handwriting help is activities that help build up the muscles – beading, painting , play doh etc..

Ds has slight speech issues and was borderline with hearing – failing, passing failing – he did fine in nursery and made no progress the entire reception year – for a lot of reasons. He was very demotivated and talked about not liking books or maths and being stupid.

We started out with Dancing Bear 10 minutes every day for reading we had to do it in the morning as after school he was exhausted – then when he started making progress there we started with maths – mathsfactor and– though there are loads of maths apps out there and it’s finding one that suits your child – Primary Education board is really useful resource.

Took about 18 months and two really good teachers and working at home to get him back to sort of level he left nursery with then another 6 months he was top sets in Yr 3. Then we started apple and pears for spelling then worked on handwriting. He started secondary in a really good position with everything – we’d kept working on problem areas all through the primary years .

Their first primary school wasn’t great for good interventions – some time there weren’t bad enough for them others the intervention weren’t well researched or were a poor fit for our child – so we had to do things at home. Their second primary school is much better.

Dd is 13 yr 9 and I’m still working on spellings with her – though she top sets at secondary and they think she’ll do well at GCSEs. Ds secondary top sets and with no current problem areas.

So yes it’s possible but it takes time – little by little – sometime there will be development leaps but often its slow and steady and only by looking back where you started do you see progress.

A year is hardly any time to "catch up" though. He's only 4 and has another 14 years of education to come so lots of opportunity.

DS was behind all the way through infants (on P scales), and by y6 SATs had caught up in English but not maths. Now in y9 he's set 2 out of 4 (so high-middle) for everything and on target to get at least 5 or higher in all his GCSEs, and a merit in his BTec for ICT.

He has ASD and DCD, some things are a struggle for him, but he's a hard worker and keen to learn. It's amazing when I think back to the 4 year old who started school nearly 10 years ago.

As he hasn’t started yet it should be possible for you to wait a year. As a summer born he is entitled to wait until he is of compulsory school age and still start in reception. He can spend another year in nursery and have a bit more time to mature before he goes into more formal education.

Check out the support group “Flexible School Admissions for Summer Borns”. They have been great and an extra year made all the difference for DD.