if you are a headteacher, why is it apparently impossible......

[Ncncncagain]

to give parents a reasonable amount of notice for school events that you expect them to attend or any dumb theme day that requires a costume or magenta coloured clothes ? We have experience of 3 schools (private and state primary FWIW), and the administration in all of them is dreadful. Received emails on Monday from 2 schools asking us to attend daytime meetings this coming Monday and Tuesday. So 7 &8 days notice respectively. Nothing on previous newsletters or term calendars. DH and I both work, no where near the schools. We both have a reasonable amount of flexibility with sufficient notice, like a month, but can't do much with only 7 days. AIBU?

Ours have twice given notice on Friday for parents evening on Wednesday and it drives me bonkers!

The only exception is parent-teacher consultations which tend to happen at short notice when the timetable goes up but at least they have early morning slots for working parents and those who don't work full time know to leave those free for people who might need them.

We tend to get at least a months notice. I've had the main Summer events in my diary for a couple of months now.

That’s a bit tight.
I work in a prep school. I remind parents about 2 weeks beforehand of a trip. We have a calendar on the website which everyone ‘should’ go by. Also a 15 page newsletter every week.
In addition to this parents also get emails reminding them of events 2-3 weeks beforehand.
They still forget 🤦🏼‍♀️

When DS1 was at a prep school we had termly diaries sent out..everything in it..including all sports fixtures, parents meetings, trips, clubs..in the state school DS2 and Dd were in, it was short notice..and in comparison very few events to account for..

It's not great, but it's probably what happens when you try and manage without enough admin? This is one of the ways cracks in funding show in lots of schools, I think.

As a pp mentioned, school life can be very hectic and mistakes can be made. Whilst it's not ideal for working parents I don't think a school would ever intend to deliberately upset parents or inconvenience anyone.

Please also consider the staff in schools who can't get any time off to attend events/meetings for their own children because they are busy teaching/nurturing/supporting yours. Yes, their career choice, but at least you have the option of applying for days off during term time. Those in education can't.

Like weddings, most school events are an invitation not a summons.

I just find it fascinating how many schools just assume that:

A) there is a parent at home on call to deal with any last minute demands
B) there is enough money and creativity for mothers to keep producing stupid costumes for every stupid event, date and charity effort with less than 48 hours notice
C) There is no email or online resources, one of DS’ schools relied 100% on letting parents know about activities and opportunities at school pick up times. Naturally, the only parents who were well informed and had their children taking advantage of additional free activities were PTA members or teachers and TAs with kids at school.

Everyone on MN is doing vastly important jobs that only they can do, and need to book their holidays a year in advance only half joking.

I, on the other hand, can book half days for the next day and no-one seems to mind/care and the world keeps spinning.

Maybe I should have aimed a bit higher than accountancy :)

When my DS started in Y7 the school asked for parents to get involved in improving communication between school and parents. 3 meetings a year. Great - I'll get involved in that.

First meeting - get a phone call on a Monday to ask if I can attend on Tuesday at 4pm! Explained I worked and deliver a fair bit of training, so like him I teach and need more notice than 1 day. I suggested putting the dates in the diary for a whole year.

2nd and 3rd meetings - got 2 days notice. Repeat same conversation.

Year 8 - 3 days notice this time, but still couldn't attend and repeat the same conversation. This time I complained to the Head. No change throughout Y8.

Y9 - same old shit. 3 days notice, again repeating the same suggestion from Y7 about putting dates in the diary for the whole year. Again contacted the Head.

Finally, last meeting of Y9, get 6 weeks notice. It's now booked in my diary.

It's infuriating. There's a few strong words to be had at the meeting.

We get the dates in September for the whole year. Occasionally things are arranged later but there is always plenty of notice. We always get at least a week's notice if we need costumes.

I find some parents still don't know about events - they've not read the letters or they've forgotten.

Everyone on MN is doing vastly important jobs that only they can do, and need to book their holidays a year in advance Maybe I should have aimed a bit higher than accountancy

Seriously? You are unable to comprehend that the people who have the least power and control over their schedules are often those earning the least? Not smug middle class professionals with far more autonomy?

Everyone on MN is doing vastly important jobs that only they can do, and need to book their holidays a year in advance

Friend of mine is a postman and he has to book his holidays months in advance, and of course isn't allowed any time off at all in November or December. Obviously we'd all be stuck without Post Office staff but none of them would claim to be doing life saving urgent work.

I might be able to take a few hours or a day off work at a week's notice, or might not, depends entirely on whether I have meetings booked in for that particular time slot and often the whim of my line manager.

But for many people in a variety of jobs, it is far too short notice.

Pencilling in things in for the school year, or term by term at the very least does seem reasonable as schools do operate on a fixed schedule. No-one gets to decide that they fancy next Monday off after all.

A week is short notice. I know neither myself nor dh would be able to make anything at dc school next week. Especially as we’ve just used a weeks of annual leave at half term.

Our dc school have an online calendar which is usually up after the first few days of sept term start. They very rarely change anything on it.

YANBU.

Mine are past school years now but each of their schools sent us a schedule at the beginning of the year for all days/events. At the end of the Summer term they published draft schedules for September/October with the caveat that some dates might change.

There was the occasional change to the main published list but not very often and always for good reason.

@topcat2014.
I have a very understanding boss and a fairly flexible job but I still need to plan things in advance. It's a total pain in the arse when the school spring things on you at the last minute or week.
Our school seems to think parents should not work i.e. be limitlessly available for stupid open mornings at which you watch your kid fill in a worksheet, but also work so yoy can demonstrate how useful you are in society to them. Wtaf.
We are judged enough as parents without that shit.
And I understand the funding issue but as pp have said, many of these things are at the same time each year so just pencil it in and get it sorted!
Rant over.

If the school has made a genuine oversight on something important, they will be apologetic and make every effort to accommodate everyone or that's my experience anyway.

If however a class teacher forgot to invite parents to an assembly or music performance or the like. Honestly they won't give a hoot if you can't make it.
I know as parents we like to attend such things but really, it's nothing to get upset about.

A week should be reasonable notice for most people, sometimes stuff happens!
I’m a childminder. If your childminder told you today that they needed next Thursday morning off so they could go to their child’s school event, would you consider that enough time to sort out childcare out?

The majority of my parents wouldn’t consider it enough notice (as per our contract, which specifies for weeks notice unless it’s an emergency).
And I know this is one reason not to use a childminder (because it makes us look unrealiable) which is why I get annoyed when schools pull these stunts, as I consider myself to be a working parent and I can’t just pull a day off whenever I like.
Our of Our schools has massively improved with this administration since the new head came in. We will have notice for dressing up days for the autumn term before we break up for summer and all key dates given out on the first and each subsequent newsletter of the year. It helps massively. The odd thing slips through, but not really so much to irritate as it will be one thing a year if that.
The other school is crap. Eg. A music concert at 10.30 on a Tuesday morning. Bring a parent for lunch next Thursday. Parents consultations a week on Wednesday, latest appointment at 5pm. That kind of thing. I have emailed a copy of the other schools newsletter as a suggestion, but so far nothing. They don’t even keep their website up to date with key dates.

Utterly frustrating!

Nah. Not being unreasonable. Things like themed days, parent-teacher meetings and so on - surely these are decided on and blocked into the timetable months in advance? My son's special school just today slipped a note into his diary asking me to ring which timeslot for a parent-teacher meeting I'd like. Next monday. That's fairly typical.

I work for myself but I know lots of parents who would really not be able to arrange time off or rearrange things with that sort of notice.

I'm a sahm it was easy for me, it will be easy for my ds1 to get time off when he needs(higher earner). But when ds2 needs time off from his call centre job, a month is required.
Schools should accommodate everyone, what about those with a disability that might need to get extra help?
Childcare for other children. etc.

My grown up dc school used to do a whole year for events, some were tbc but you knew roughly.

No, I am not being smug. Everyone, in the factory I work in, can book half days for the same day - if it fits with meetings etc.

Apart from the December thing, it seems inherently wrong that postal workers cannot book time off without it being a year in advance.

It just seems that employers take the piss with these rules when there really is no need. Holidays are an entitlement, after all.

In my last job, I could have worked from home and popped into school for a quick meeting with limited notice, but that would be if and only if a) I wasn't staying away in a hotel and b) I didn't have external meetings/central meetings/meetings with people with full diaries where rearranging would be a total mare. So for something that was short, maybe a 25% chance I could make it with a week's notice? I wouldn't have had to take annual leave if it was a couple of hours out.

My current job, I reckon there's probably a 75% chance that any meetings I had could be fairly easily rearranged or that I wouldn't have meetings. But that's because my job now is much more internally facing, so I don't have clients I'd be letting down etc.

middle class professionals with far more autonomy?

I’m one of these.

I need more than a week’s notice to attend stuff at school. My diary has two days in the next fortnight where I don’t have some kind of work commitment. I can’t ask an entire design team and client reps to change their planned meeting so I can go watch DD give a two minute speech at the learning cafe.

The last assembly they did, they were rehearsing for weeks. About a month before it, DD told us she’d overheard her teacher saying to her ASNA it was on x date. We got the letter from the school, with the actual date and time, on the Friday afternoon for the assembly the following Monday.

I get that things happen sometimes, and that there can be last minute changes, but surely no working parent (or even non working parent) can be expected to be able to be free with such short notice?

but forgot about next week for the parents

so that's your reason. It was a mistake on their part.
Not unreasonable to contact them and reaffirm the need to give more notice, but I wouldn't get too worked up about it. I am not sure why some people feel obliged to attend everything. If you can, it's great, if you can't, it's not the end of the world.
Hopefully the school will organise enough things for you to attend at least one or 2.