Climate change and my babies, major anxiety

[cheesemumma]

I'm awake most nights at the moment worrying and feeling horrendously guilty about the horror I'm about to put my babies through. They are going to see and experience horrific and terrifying things. Nobody seems to realise or care. People are just carrying on. I can't help thinking about the regret in 20 years time when people have to deal with the reality of it all. It's a real life horror movie that could be preventable, but people don't care/aren't doing anything. Help me feel better please. I'm 7 months pregnant and and feeling terrified, guilty and irresponsible. Obviously go vegan and don't fly are the main things I can do. What else???

Hi op, no real advice but just wanted to offer a handhold. I worry about the future too

I know I shouldn't be pregnant, it's causing me guilt. I'll definitely have no more. I'm hanging on to the tiny spark if hope this isn't the end and something will change.

Don't say this, you need to go and talk to your GP and get a referal.

Yes the future is shit, but lots are being done and with a little bit more of a push we might be able to stay this off, but don't say you are not going to have any more children because of a guilt of climate change, this has been happening for years, the previous generation could of done something, yet it is now on us, if you go down this path I can bet you will then feel guilt in on something, make decisions based on your family

@Preggosaurus9 are you a climate scientist? What a bizarre prediction if not.

OP, the main reason nothing is being done about climate change is politicians and corporations don't believe people care. Most people don't.

I do believe we can still make enough change to produce a liveable world. Join groups of people taking action, email politicians, take positive action. If enough people do that it will have an impact. Talk to people openly about changes you're making. And be kind to yourself.

Best thing that can happen imho: humans have been wiped out with war, famine, starvation and genocide. Add climate change to that now.
Its what happened to the dinosaurs: we all need to die and give this poor Earth a God damn fucking break.
Humans are selfish. They always have been. Their time is up and I’m glad.

But if humanity's time is up, time is up for most species too I'd imagine?

What we need is a good plague or one of those anti-biotic resistant diseases we keep being promised.

@dewdew you are right. Something to exterminate humans but not nice bees, rabbits etc etc

And I mean this seriously btw. We are so destructive, selfish and consuming

www.ted.com/talks/hans_rosling_on_global_population_growth/up-next?language=en#t-378247

Please watch this (I think I’ve found the right video). Anyone who tells you having no children is the single best thing you can do, and leads you to believe you are in the wrong for being pregnant is VERY CRUEL. And you should not feel guilty.

Raise your child to care. Bringing children into this world that can continue this fight seems like the smarter thing to do to me.

Right now, we do not need a handful of the population to get it right 100% if the time. We need to start by getting the entire population to get it right 10% of the time.

As PP have said, there are things you can do. But you cannot and should not feel guilty if you are not living a successful zero waste life overnight.

Find a balance between what you can do. Going vegan at 7 months pregnant may not be the best advice (I’m not saying vegans can’t have healthy pregnancies, but making such a drastic diet change in your third trimester doesn’t scream “great idea!”). But you could very easily cut down on meat to start.

OP has nothing to worry about... she may need help though. I think a lot of women have similar thoughts, OP. Perhaps not about climate... it could be almost anything. I was very anxious at bringing my daughter into a world of violent offenders. It blossomed into quite crippling PND. Fortunately my midwife and GP were on the ball.

Can I just note that I am personally unworried that mokapot has chosen not to breed. Wrong thread for that hysterical grandstanding.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=2LyzBoHo5EI

Actually sorry this may be the video I intended to send! I think the other one is worth a watch but perhaps starts here.

And a quick summary for those who don’t watch, especially those either pushing the “don’t have children” agenda or those worried about whether to have children (looking at you stroopwafelgirl)....

If everyone on the planet brought one child into this world and no more, then the population will not continue to grow. Replace yourself with one. So you and DP can have two children between you and not have added to the population. Then perhaps step two is to make sure you have two environmentally-aware, caring children.

For those of you who want to argue with me that it isn’t that simple, I know full well it isn’t. But this guy spent his life researching this stuff, and has tried to simply explain it in a ten minute video, and I am in turn summarising the relevant bit in a couple of sentences. And not because I think it’s wise to oversimplify things so much but because I really want people to educate themselves as much as they can and I fear people won’t actually watch the video.

I think it’s totally natural to feel anxious when you are pregnant. You go into lioness mode, wanting to protect your baby. Everything thing becomes a bit more relevant to you, and things which didn’t bother you before you start noticing.

Please speak to your midwife to calm your fears. If you haven’t already start meeting other mums, so you develop a network where you can discuss things and get support. Although climate change is worrying, possibly your natural concerns about having a baby are being projected on climate change.

Perhaps your lovely baby will help to figure out a way to ameliorate this mess. A bit Polysnna, but I have hope if not faith.

And while climate change is existential, it's hard to think of a time when we didn't have a version of this rational anxiety: my parents were born in an age when it seemed like the world would be annihilated by nuclear war; their parents through the Depression and World War and the seemingly inexorable spread of fascism; theirs through another World War; theirs through the potato famine and the pogroms, respectively.

Which isn't to say this isn't important and different, but rather to say birth can be hope in the face of hopelessness.

Do go get help if you need it.

The problem isn't climate change.
The problem is that you want a perfect, safe, clean world for your children to grow up in.
Or, to put it another way, you are terrified that some bogeyman, be it climate change or nuclear war, is going to take them away from you.
The reality of being a parent is that you have to learn to live with threats to your children. The first time you let them sleep in a separate room. The first time you let them walk down the road without holding holding your hand. The first time you let them go out on their own.
Being a parent means being scared for your children. It is proof you are a good mother.
But it is important to manage your fears so that they don't overwhelm you, which they seem to be doing atm. Do your individual recycling bit and then take comfort in the knowledge that man is uniquely equipped to overcome natural disaster. We are inventive, adaptive, and we have opposable thumbs.
Also, don't listen to those who say you shouldn't have children to avert a crisis, because a) fuck 'em and b) without children it doesn't matter whether the world ends or not.
Do some relaxation exercises and try to concentrate on what you can do rather than what you can't.

Omg calm down everyone. It's good to care about the environment but this is turning into mass hysteria. Nothing horrific is going to happen in ours or our children's lifetimes. Every single generation think they're the ones who will be the last, there's always some great problem which people lie awake worrying about. It's good that this mass hysteria is making people start to change their lifestyles and it's probably the start of something great. Let's be positive about it and look at the good outcome of this instead of heading straight for the most extreme, severe, Hollywood style disaster.

OP, you sound seriously depressed. This extreme anxiety is not normal - and as a person prone to stress and anxiety I can recognise when things are getting out of hand.

Having said that, the degree of alarm displayed in these comments is disquieting. Yes, be aware of living a responsible and aware life but do not rush to extremes like activism or veganism. I really wonder whether single issue, echo chamber websites are not generating hysteria.

Hazel - great post.

People need to get over this climate change thing. Honestly, what will happen is just a few more big recessions

Yes, be aware of living a responsible and aware life but do not rush to extremes like activism or veganism. I really wonder whether single issue, echo chamber websites are not generating hysteria

This is why we need to be anxious. People like this.

I have been away from Mumsnet entirely due to this subject stressing me out and I needed to avoid it for my own thoughts to calm down. I only came back for a tv thread but anyway, I like some of the more calm responses on here for a change.
Yes I'm worried and probably overly anxious. But, a few weeks back I was eye rolling at stockpilers and disagreeing with a lot of posters on many different threads.
However, because the thought of my kids suffering is my (obviously) worst fear, I've allowed myself to feel that everyone predicting doom are correct and know more than I do. And the fact is most probably don't. I'm only listening because it relates to my fear.
I've made changes and I'll make more but can't spend the next however long living in fear and giving myself a breakdown because I could be hit by a bus tomorrow. Or the world could end and i would've wasted life waiting. Or the world will slowly improve and I would still have wasted life worrying!
I don't know as much as some but I've got to stop thinking that everyone online has a secret view into the future because none of us do.
Enjoy your family op, I'm going to enjoy mine and try to avoid feeding my fear

I've been worrying about climate change too, & I normally hate threads like this because they send me spiralling into anxiety. But some of the posts on this one have really helped me feel a little bit better. Hope you're ok OP

These are valid concerns, but apart from what you and your DH decide for your own family, and any campaigning, there’s not a lot you can do. It sounds like your anxiety is affecting you a lot (sleep etc) so it’d be sensible to see health professionals about that. I had some really good help with MH while pregnant.

Congratulations on your baby and enjoy your pregnancy. This is real but there are also real things we can do to help. So do speak to your midwife if you feel anxiety about this issue s intruding on your everyday life. This is something that’s already starting. But we humans are intelligent enough to know about that and that’s the hope and the opportunity that we have.

Agree with others about the importance of joining in local action and choosing as a society to consume less and more responsibly and taking local and national approaches so we don’t get overwhelmed and give up. Every little helps. Fast fashion etc is just indefensible. Lots of people everywhere do think about environmental issues and you may find the happy side effect that it is reassuring to talk about it to others around you, and to join local groups as PP have said. Many people find positive reassurance and support in what they can do together.

Also, as part of taking action now that is quick and cheap, everyone can email companies, can email or go to see their MP. We can all email to all the candidates standing at the next election time and encourage others locally to do so too. Companies and politicians need to know that they won’t be supported by us without meaningfully making the environment a top priority.

Humans are ingenious. We have difficulties ahead but I do think we can keep us and our families safe too if we all work together and we don’t put our heads in the sand and ignore it.

I can’t remember where I read it, but someone once wrote that having children makes you «hostage to the future». It’s very true.

It’s also true what hazell says. There has always been, and always will be, some great threat or danger «out there»: climat change, civil war, natural disasters, genocide, revolutions, disease, famines.. the list goes on. People - mothers, fathers and their babies - all over the planet are caught up in and suffering from these awful things right now. It has always been this way, and it always will.

Can you or I control any of this? No.
For me, I’m reading a lot about Stoicism - it’s a fascinating way to look at Life, and has changed my perspective on many life events, including death.

You are not wrong to be worried. We should all be worried. But at the same time you need to be able to live your life now, and not be paralysed by the fear of what seems likely to come.

Try to make whatever small changes you can. That might help you feel better. Especially avoiding flying and reducing use of a car.

Really though individuals can only do so much. If more of us joined environmental campaigning organisations and turned out for protests and just generally made it clear that we want change that might have more of an impact. It’s governments and massive corporations that need to change. Each individual is just a drop in the (plastic filled) ocean.

I havent been sleeping lately too.
I had a nightmare about a week ago where we were having a garden party and an announcement came on about england not having access to tap water and the soils not being able to produce food anymore (legitimate concerns.) So the neighbours knocked on and we were all terified- we were surely going to die from starvation.

I have been reducing my waste for a few years now but it is costly and i am still slipping up. In fact i just brought loads of plastoc wrapped crap because i was feelimg depressed and wanted to eat crap. But now i feel even guiltier.

I would say the only thing that is making me feel more prepared is learning to grow food. Dont have a garden so windowsill gardening.