What to expect at FHDRA

[GreasyHairDoNotCare]

So I have my first hearing and dispute resolution appointment on Monday regarding a number of matters involving my son.

What can I expect to happen? I'm representing myself and shitting it. Ex was emotionally abusive and is generally a manipulative and coercive man and I'm scared he'll charm the judge into siding with him. There are safeguarding concerns regarding ex also.

I'm also seeking permission to go abroad in August. Does anyone know if I'm likely to get this on Monday?

A CAFCASS officer will be there. They will invite the 2 of you in for a private discussion to see if there is any possibility of re hong agreement. You can ask to sit in 2 separate rooms if you have safety concerns.
You then go into court, which is usually 3 magistrates and their legal advisor. Only more complex cases go to a judge.
The CAFCASS officer will address the court first and say whether they think an agreement is possible and any other observations.
I've been in court where the mags have suggested deciding the issue then and there but both parties had to agree to this.
Sounds like an issue over a summer holiday is capable of resolution at the FHDRA. What is the issue and why won't DF agree to it?
The mags have the power to force you to mediate or to do things like attend a Separated Parents Course.
Write notes and use them as a crib sheet when the hearing starts. You go first as you are the Applicant.
Start with basic details - DCs, ages, when DPs separates and what the issue is and how it arose and what each party's position is. Then make out your case - ie all the points in favour of you being allowed to take him.

Sorry for typos but sure you'll get the gist

I'm also assuming you mean just for a holiday.
Moving permanently is obviously a different ballgame.
If no agreement is reached the court will set out a timetable for the court to make a decision.
They will try their best to deal with it quickly.

Thank you, yes it's just for a holiday and ex won't agree because he's just being awkward and stubborn and saying no.

So keep it simple.
Make your note almost like a script to make it easier for yourself.
Take spare copies to hand up.

Eg-
This is an application to take X aged x (dob xx.xx.xx) on holiday to x for x days between x and x dates.

X's parents are..... we separated in... X makes his main home with me his M and arrangements for his contact with F are......

In x I told F I wanted to take DS on holiday to ... for x nights. He said he did not consent. He gave no/x reasons. I tried to reach agreement with him, to no avail, and was forced to issue this application.

I did not anticipate F's non agreement to the holiday and a deposit has been paid (or its been paid in full).

Going on a family holiday to a country like x is not against DS's interests in any way and there is no cogent reason for F to object.

Detail any discussions you've had and what his objections are and how you have tried to resolve them. Eg by offering additional time to make up for loss of contact. Say who you are going with if it is with friends or family members. Take along details of the accommodation etc to show it is all safe and in DS's best interests.

Push for a decision then and there.

and I'm scared he'll charm the judge into siding with him.

Extremely unlikely - they have seen it all before. It may be lay magistrates anyway - and they have also seen it all.

There are safeguarding concerns regarding ex also.
If CAFCASS hasn't already been involved the Court will likely order them to investigate any safeguarding concerns.

Did you file this application or are you responding to his?

I recently represented myself in family court over a contact order so I do have a little knowledge. Ex's lawyer was, frankly a waste.

At First Hearing it's unlikely anything will be decided permanently
but you can ask for an interim order - so you can ask them to make an interim order that mentions the holiday.

Thank you so much, you've been really helpful. I'm hoping the holiday can be sorted on Monday and then the contact stuff over a process. I made the application

I’m in a similar boat & agree that this advice is v useful, thank you.

Are you applying for other things or just the holiday?

I'm applying for:

1. Holiday
2. Prohibited steps order to prevent DS from coming into contact with a certain individual who is friends with his father
3. An order to prevent DS dad from collecting him from nursery
4. Residency

OP it will be helpful if you do a position statement. You don't have to give it to the other side until you arrive, but take a copy for ex and one for the Magistrates/Judge.

If you have a quick Google you can find some examples online.
It's just a short statement of what you are asking for and (briefly) why.

Sorry I probably should have said in the OP that I was asked to do a position statement already and it's been sent off to court