to think builder should have more respect for our home?

[AliceRR]

We moved into our house a couple of months ago and have a builder in doing our bathroom atm. He started on Monday and is likely to be here at least four weeks as he is also plastering bedrooms for us.

Today DH and I were out most of the day buying tiles etc. Got home to find the kitchen carpet is filthy, not just that it needs hoovering but is dirty and will need to be cleaned somehow. Yes it’s strange to have carpet in a kitchen and we will change it when we get around to doing the kitchen but realistically it could be 6-12 months (or more) until that happens. There are grubby marks on the fridge door, kettle, kitchen cupboards etc where he has had his grubby hands. (He also had a cold yesterday and that’s not his fault but made it worse as I am germaphobe). There’s mess all through the bathroom, upstairs, stairs and hallway. He left his hammer in the sink along with half a cup of coffee. Another cup of coffee on the toilet. We’re living here and only have one bathroom so it’s about 45 mins of cleaning and tidying after he’s left to get the house in some kind of order.

I understand there is mess involved in home improvements but I feel like he he has no regard to the fact that this is our home and we are living here. I don’t know what’s usual.

I am quite uptight about mess etc and I’m hormonal atm (I get severe PMT) so I’m sure I’m probably being a bit unreasonable but I think he should take a bit more care.

He is friends with DH and a really nice guy but we are obviously paying him to do the work.

We left a collection of mugs, spoons, tea and coffee and sugar and the biscuit tub on the worktop daily beside the kettle whenever we have builders in. It means they don’t need to rummage,

I might do this.

@MrsElizabethShelby You might be right. I think DH is telling him its ok basically but I don’t know.

We are quite good to him and tend to feed him but then I think he expects it. For example on Tuesday morning DH brought me half a sausage sandwich and told me we (DH and I) were having half each as he’d giving builder a full one! There were only two sausages left but v thick ones I’d got from butcher the day before. Yesterday DH and I decided to go time shopping and I suggested we’d buy some food while we’re out. The builder then asked where the nearest cafe is as he was obviously expecting to be fed but I think that expectation was created by DH and when I asked him about it, DH said he had offered to bring over tea / coffee / sausages or whatever.

There needs to be a balance between treating him as a friend and treating him as a contractor but I wouldn’t let any other friends make that sort of mess in my home!

Well exactly! There is this attitude that if a workman does work for a friend it's as if he is doing him a favour.

If your paying him your paying him! You can be polite about it but you need to tell him to clean up after himself regardless of what your DH thinks.

This is your home and he is shiting all over it.

There should never be an assumption from a workman that old looking carpet ect is not be be treated with the same care he/she would treat any other furnishings in any other home unless specifically told otherwise by the home owner.

@BiddyPop but what about milk?

Milk stayed in the fridge so it wouldn't go off. But the fridge was almost empty as the kitchen was very much a "camp kitchen" during one build. And even when converting the attic, those builders were fine to not go at other things in the fridge unless I said they were for them.

Ours put down sticky clear plastic like heavy duty cling film in any area they needed to access that was carpeted. They would clean their mess each evening. They would rinse cups and leave them in the sink though which is fine when it is the only trace they leave behind.

Tell them you are struggling with why they are causing such a mess and explain that you want coverage/cleaning!

I would definitely close the living room and dining room doors. He should not be eating in there and should know as such. I would make them out of bounds. Also keep the mess away from these rooms. Plastering is a very dusty job. Hope he has used dust sheets to protect things. In our last house we had a roof space conversion along with a wood burning stove put in to replace fireplace. I feel your pain but we had different contractors and they were all fairly considerate. It is bad enough the mess without someone creating mess where there shouldn't be any

Whilst he should be providing his own dust sheets they are useful to have - especially when you’ve a deal of future work to do.

B and Q have a variety of sizes. They do keep muck of the carpets quite well.

We’re are at day 4 out of 5/6 with builders in. Re- roofing conservatory and so they’re not in the house as such or much anyway.

It’s quite a stressful time even when things are going well.

He has very strange lack of boundaries, hasn't he? We've had workmen in quite a few times and they all seem to stick to the same formula:
They accept a hot drink occasionally but prefer to have their own supply of cold drinks. They do not ever make their own hot drinks. (Only one chap hinted about making a brew more often "Isn't it time for a brew Noodles?" but we knew him personally and he was self employed.)
They all go off and sit in their van to eat their lunch, which they bring or go and get from a shop.
They don't use the bathroom, ever. (Although I suspect they did use our outside loo, which was totally fine)
They don't go through your kitchen cupboards, ever.
They put cloths down to shield your floors as much as possible, and tape sheets round doorways to limit the dust and stoor moving into the rest of your house.
They tidy up as far as they sensibly can each day before they go.

Your guy sounds a bit too comfortable, like he considers himself a friend rather than an employee (as it were)? The above workmen were all a joy to have around, unlike the chap we knew personally. He definitely didn't recognise boundaries and stick to them. YANBU...

Can you put a chair and a surface to eat off in the kitchen? A chair that is fine, but not upholstered (so can be wiped down or a cushion on top with a cover that can be thrown in the wash every weekend/once the project is done)?

And definitely close off the rooms he doesn't need to be in. We always did that just to keep dust and dirt to a minimum.

All the workman I’ve had have sorted their own food out, eaten lunch in their van, off site or in one case sitting on the floor in the room they were working on. They’ve put drugget or dust sheets down and none have helped themselves to tea or coffee, and I’ve not been aware that they use the loo although they’d have been welcome to.
He shouldn’t be going through your cupboards or be in any rooms that he isn’t doing work in, it sounds quite unprofessional.

thats really not on , all builders should lay some dust sheets down at least - we have had lots done to this house over the years and they always put down sheets on the carpets or put protectors on over their boots etc its not always easy to keep the mess at bay, but maybe we have just been lucky with this.
might be a good idea to ask them if they do have any dust sheets with them.

I'd he a professional. My DSis had her bathroom plastered and refit, he left it spotless.
I would find someone else to plaster the bedrooms if he is so messy.
I'd expect a professional job, not one what causes you more work.

I realise this is a bit of an aside, but.... if you’re truly a germophobe, I struggle to understand why you wld prioritise other DIY over getting rid of the carpet in your kitchen?
I’m not a germophobe and that makes me feel queasy.

Completely off point, but does anyone remember Flotex carpet, which was sold for use in kitchens and bathrooms? It was a dense man made fibre carpet that was waterproof. It was all the rage at one time. Carpeted kitchens and bathrooms were very popular in the 70s and 80s. God knows why
We've had builders here and they have always done their level best to keep mess to a minimum with sticky plastic sheeting and false walls made of plastic and battens. Even going round shutting doors if they were doing something dusty. So op, your builder sounds like a proper messy bugger. Bad luck.

I think the issue is that he is DH’s friend so he is a bit comfortable and DH doesn’t want to lay down the law at all. That’s fine to some degree but I don’t like anyone in my kitchen cupboards really, especially someone who is doing work and has filthy hands. I had to get on my hands and needs to clean the kitchen carpet today. I think it’s a bit too far. I’d rather just make him drinks every hour and keep him out of the kitchen. He still needs a bit more regard for our home, friend or not?

He isn’t coming tomorrow so I can have a relaxed weekend at least

Thanks everyone for the replies

I struggle to understand why you wld prioritise other DIY over getting rid of the carpet in your kitchen?

I am prioritising bathroom over kitchen as using someone else bathroom is also gross(!) and has carpet...

I have, however, deep cleaned the kitchen and steam cleaned the carpets so they’re as clean as possible but I don’t eat directly off the floor or even walk around in bare feet

Completely off point, but does anyone remember Flotex carpet, which was sold for use in kitchens and bathrooms?

I don’t remember these but here is a pic of my kitchen carpet in case you’re interested.

There is truth in the wise words, don't mix business with pleasure or friendships.
If he has to complete the work, don't have him do anymore.

Your kitchen carpet looks fine, spotless as your anti germs, you'll survive kitchen carpet for a few more months.

There is truth in the wise words, don't mix business with pleasure or friendships.

Thanks. Yes I think that’s it. If he were just a contractor he probably wouldn’t be like this and we’d feel able to say something if he were but as he’s a friend it’s harder especially as hubby doesn’t want me to make him uncomfortable 🙄

It’s ok cause hubby will find he is the one doing a lot of the cleaning up!!

Unprofessional. He should be putting dust sheets down and clearing any left over mess before he leaves.

Even my cowboy builder sweeps and clears after himself. You need to say something or he will become increasingly complacent.

If he’s grubby everywhere then he’s going to do a grubby job on the bathroom too most likely.

So I’m not being unreasonable then. I don’t have to expect to live in a pigsty

I’ve had builders & plasterers in 3 houses over the years -so several different workmen. Every one of them tidied up and hoovered the mess up each day, they would arrive in the morning and put out dust sheets each day to limit stomping about on our flooring. YANBU to expect him to clear up each day.

YANBU We had our bathroom done over a 3 week period earlier this year for a full renovation (back to plaster on all walls/rewiring the lot) and four people were part of that team. Not a single one of them left at the end of the day without clearing up (using their own "industrial" vacuum cleaner too) and the very first day they brought a large plastic carpet covering for any carpet they'd be walking over. On they days we were not at home, they had brought their own kettle as they'd set up a temp workshop in the garage for tile and plasterboard cutting (kettle not at our insistence just one they kept in the van in case) and set it up in there.
We barely knew they'd been there really.

I just made drinks for hubby and builder

“I’ve got one!” he said

I wasn’t surprised as I’d noticed dirty fingerprints not the fridge.

CF needs to stay out of my kitchen. I noticed he left the cup i made him a drink in earlier so he’s been in the cupboard as well? DH is removing wallpaper from the stairs so builder must have had to walk past him. I’ve reminded DH I don’t want the builder in my cupboard and fridge!!

I’m going to be out most of tomorrow and I feel uncomfortable leaving him in my home. I’ve also had to close the door on the dog as he wipes his face on my sofa 😭