..... to ask what 'judge' means on MN

[NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace]

So, there are a few threads asking whether we would 'judge' others based on various scenarios, for example: if they were SAHMs on benefits, if their partner was 20 years younger or older than they were; if they had children in their teens. other examples are available.

In this context, can someone explain what judge actually means? If I were to encounter these situations, then my initial reaction would be that it's none of my business how others go about life. However, if I were to be asked to discuss the pros and cons of (say) age gap partnerships or younger mums then I'd be happy to offer my genuine (and hopefully constructive) comments.

I guess I'm asking: Where does debate end and judgement start?

Confused of Tunbridge Wells

In those contexts it mostly means "think badly of".

It means do you think they did or are doing something bad.

Like the two children when under 20 thing. I can’t see why I would “judge” anyone for this. It’s hardly immoral.

For me, to judge would be to look down on someone for their choices, to feel superior to them. Or to extrapolate massively eg "She's a single mum so her kids must do badly in school."

However, on aibu, it's thrown around so much as to mean "Have an opinion on something which isn't all sweetness and light."

This to me is the very epitome of looking down your nose at someone you see as inferior to you

Its not that they are an inferior person, but that the decisions they’ve made have impacted other people negatively. People other than the parents will have to feed and clothe the children. We’re never going to know all the minutiae, and it’s irrelevant. The bottom line is that children need care. ‘Judging’ in this sense isn’t somehow morally wrong. Society only functions when people take personal responsibility for individual decisions. Is it not morally wrong to expect other people to feed your children because you don’t want to?

I think we all judge a situation as we see it - that is natural and probably about risk assessment and keeping safe, over centuries. However, on MN, it is used as suggested on P1 - to do with having a poor opinion of the choices made by that person. I think that is different from outside of MN.

On MN it is used in the wrong context because it just means to form an opinion about or make an assessment about something. It can be either positive or negative.

For instance every time you think 'what a beautiful baby', 'look at that cute dog', 'that woman has a stunning figure' etc then you are making judgements. We all do it pretty much a lot of the time.

For MN purposes when People ask they are usually asking whether you would hold a negative opinion as a result of something.

Agree with most people on here. In MN language it means to look down on. In wider discourse it means to assess against a standard or alternative. And as others have said - we judge all the time especially if we have to make a choice.

Similarly the word "discriminate" has come to mean in some cases that it is evil to make any distinction. Actually we discriminate, (ie choose/select/distinguish) all the time. It is is only in certian situations that it is detrimental.

But Mayner can you not judge someone and find them sufficient or acceptable, superior to oneself?

Of course- I was just answering the OP as to what it usually means on MN.

TheTitOfTheIceberg
Not quite the topic at hand but out of interest SilverySurfer, what's your view on disability benefits?

You're quite right, not at all the topic at hand. You will no doubt judge me for that reply.

Not judging at all, just genuinely interested where / if disability benefits are included in your “temporary” view. Is it that you don’t think people with a permanent disability should receive state support, or that you don’t include them in your definition of benefit claimants? They’re very different world views and I just wondered which it was.

I'm judging the OP having to start their query with "So".
I'm judging that they're younger than I am.
It's a new trope to me.

Lol, @LaMarshallin, I'm glad it's not just me.
I absolutely hate it when people start speaking and the first word they use is "So" Sadly it's becoming more prevalent all the time, combined with the overuse of the word "Like" listening to some people talk just drives me up the wall and makes me weep for the English language.

Oh, and I'm not judgemental at all, ever.

don't you learn the meaning of "judge" in this very context in nursery school when your art project is judged to be inferior to another child, then as you become older is the judging not reinforced with clothing and hair choices? i don't understand people who claim to never judge or not know what the concept means.
alien thought to me really, i grew up in a very very judgy family and world.

I’d be surprised if there were any miners at all who don’t judge. Most people come on here because they either have an opinion on something or are trying to form an opinion. ‘Never judge’ my arse.