Late birthday presents: rude or a way of extending the birthday?

[DtPeabodysLoosePants]

Children's presents, not adults although it could apply to both.

If you have known someone years and know when their birthday is would you consider it a good thing that they always give the present late as it "extends the birthday experience", or would you consider it rude?

Just to be very clear, presents are in no way expected, and are gratefully received even when 3 months late.

I think it's nice to receive a present at any time but unfair on a child that thinks the person has forgotten them especially if siblings have all had a present (also late by a week or so but not months).

Kind of depends on circumstances - if the gifter lives 300 miles away and only sees the child twice a year, it's acceptable.

If the gifter is a fairly close relative/friend and is just crap with birthdays, it's unfair on the child IMO

If it's a child waiting for the gift, I don't think they would see it as 'extending the birthday', just that the giver forgot them. My in laws tend to give DS gifts when they see him but always send a card and something small with a note saying 'presents when you visit!'.

it's not rude, they are giving a present when they don't have to which is a nice thing. It's a bit weird, but not a big deal. Unless it's the only present the child receives, it's not a bad thing to get something a bit later than the rest.

Sounds like just a rubbish excuse for being late/forgetting tbh.

That said, I would accept any present graciously and not make an issue of it.

Rude and pointless. Either give a gift on the actual birthday or don't give one at all or just send a card. A birthday present three months late really isn't a birthday present.

I don't think it's rude, happened to me a lot when I was a child and my family lived away from us so would give me the gifts when we visited. I loved it as I had enough on my actual birthday anyway!

I wouldn't really think twice about it to be honest. I would certainly make sure kids had gifts from me on their actual birthday. I don't really expect gifts from anyone else. If they do give presents they'll be gratefully received whenever they're given. If they were months late the kids probably wouldn't associate it with their birthday but they get so much on their birthdays anyway that they'd probably appreciate it more a few months later.

My MIL forgot DDs birthday but DD (8) really isn’t bothered about getting an extra present a couple of days later! I think a present is a present to a child, they don’t really think too deeply about it.

My Dsis was late with two birthdays in my family with in 2 weeks.
First one mine, frankly I'm old enough now to wish present buying for adults just stopped but it was the principle that mothers day was two days before mine, when I saw her on mothers day she had had the time to get our mum a card and small gift but didnt have time to pick up an extra card. A full week later she left it with a another family member to pass on.
Two weeks later she just forgot my sons altogether and gave him £20 and said sorry, whilst yes she gave him something he still seemed miffed and i think would rather have had it in a card and a bit more thought behind it, the afterthought did get to him a bit.

Belated but well meant lovely thought and no probs with it, forgetting and being thoughtless about correcting it and telling someone they havent had time for yours but they have for someone elses days apart is not good. Just wished she had forgot altogether and didnt bother at all because its more about the thought behind it than the actual gift itself, no one wants to be an afterthought.

Rude and pointless
blimey, that's a bit strong.

It's neither rude nor pointless
Presents are a nice thing, cheer up a bit!

DS (6) was very happy with a belated present well over a month after the event. He didn't miss it at the time as he had enough from immediate family plus more than enough from his birthday party. It was the first time he saw the relative since then and had no expectations so it was a lovely surprise to him.

Presents are lovely at any time.

I don't think you can consider anyone rude for giving a gift as nobody HAS to do this, it's a nice gesture.

I agree if it’s not on the day it’s absolutely pointless. So is giving a gift you haven’t bothered to wrap. Just lazy really.

I received presents for my 3 DCs this week from my DB for the birthdays he missed. They were April, January and last September!

Kids are delighted

I agree if it’s not on the day it’s absolutely pointless.

even my kids don't get their presents from us on the day if we are busy! It's never a big deal, and I am very big on birthdays.

I never forget my niece and nephews but sometimes I genuinely have no money to buy them a gift on their birthday month so they get it late, not because I'm an arsehole just because I'm skint af.

It would depend on the circumstance as to whether I thought it rude or not.

If it's someone you see daily and they just dont acknowledge your birthday at all on the day or the days they see you directly before/after your birthday and then just drop a gift off that has clearly had zero thought put into it beyond "its Xs birthday, I have to give them something" then yes it can be seen as rude.

Sometimes there are genuine reasons why people can't gift on the day and so they give their gift at the next available opportunity - whether that's days, weeks or months later, I wouldn't find that rude.

For example, my dad wanted a particular item for his birthday in late March. It is a fairly niche item and isn't available in any store local to us so I looked online at the end of February and ordered one from a company that said it would arrive within 2 weeks ... it turned up the first week in April but he was perfectly happy to receive his present a couple of weeks late as I'd popped an IOU in his birthday card saying it hadn't been delivered yet but I would get it to him the second it arrived.

I think it's ok to give a gift on the party day rather than birthday as the former is usually on a weekend so more convenient if the actual birthday is on a weekday.
There's also a distance aspect. If you see the child daily then it's crap to do a belated gift. If you've spent a lot then I understand that you may want to see the child open the gift.

I dont understand, surely its normal for other people to give presents not on the day?

Like give it when you see the child. How else do they give it to them? I think I understood this concept when I was about 4.

Or do you mean see the child and then give a present at later day?

My brother lives 3 min drive away. He has never given my ds his gift on time.. Normally cash now older.. Its generally 3 months later.. Ds don't mind as never expected.
But when his dc didntb have their gift to wake up to (I was taking it after school) I got a shitty text saying. Its OK I've told dc you've forgotten him because he said it should be here to wake to ( nephew was 12 at the time) .
Let's just say that's the last I got gifts for them, It's just a card now.
If my ds was that rude I'd be fuming.

@BlueCornishPixie the example that made me ask was someone that sees us several times a week and several times a day at times.
I quite like a present that I'd forgotten I was getting. But I think for dc if they are treated differently to siblings then it upsets them especially when the person is seen and nothing is said for so long. They think they must have forgotten even though I knew that wouldn't be the case.

I was a date late sending my niece a card once. My sister went nuts.

If people live far away then it's different but on the same street or village or same school or workplace and if you are close then it does make you wonder especially if nothing is said on the day.

We are always grateful for presents, no matter when we get them. I just wonder how other people felt. Posters are more chilled out than I expected on AIBU

Giving any gift isn’t rude, if you dont like the time frame you received it in, return it or say no thanks.