Moving away from family while pregnant

[Catren]

Dh and I are about to pull the trigger on a move out of the big city we live in to a smaller coastal commuting town a 70 min drive away. My dps live in our city, a 20 minute drive from us at the moment, and db, sil and their kids are 35 mins away. So not down the road but certainly close by. We have a 4yo dc too.

I'm pregnant with dc2, and I'm thinking through the birth and childcare for dc1. My aibu is more of a wibu, so wibu to ask my parents to be on call after 38ish weeks to drive 70 minutes to us, to look after dc1 when I go into labour? They're 75 and 73, active, get on really well with dc1 and they would have their own room and ensuite to stay in. Is this too much to ask?

What if it was 3am? What do people normally do? My db probably wouldn't be in a position to help as he works ft, and dhs family live abroad.

Would we be asking too much?

I live abroad and had nobody to look after DC so DH just brought him along to the hospital, it was fine. I think you might be being a bit unreasonable asking them to be 'on call' to drive 70 miles, potentially in the middle of the night, at their age. If I really wanted my parents help in your situation I'd just ask them to come and stay for the week or so before my due date. That would be more reasonable, probably.

But then of course only you know your parents and what they'll find reasonable. Your request may be fine for them. People who don't know them can't really say?

I dont think its fundamentally unreasonable but you might need a back up plan. Do you have any friends in new area you could drop dc1 with - if not may be cultivate some as a priority.

I wouldn't have a problem with that.

Hopefully you may have twinge or two at the start so they can be on alert. But I think it's fine

Thanks, I agree that having to potentially pick up the phone in the middle of the night to be ready to come and stay for a few days is a bit much. I didn't go into spontaneous labour last time (induced) so can't compare but imagine there are quite a few hours between first twinges and actually having to leave to hospital. I have some local mates in the new place i could probably rely on for a bit though. I also didn't think about expecting them to be completely sober (they're not drunks but like a glass or two in the evening) and not otherwise engaged with their hobby for the two weeks. I think that's a bit much!

Thanks all

Whatareyoutalkingabout how did that work having your dc there?

I think that’s fine; me and DH have agreed a similar situation with his parents who are an hour away. Theyll have a bag packed ready and to be honest I don’t imagine it’ll be a case of them coming here straight away; I expect to be home for a little while before which gives them a bit of notice.

I think it's fine. I have a similar plan with my parents 90 minutes away (plus traffic). They can always say no if they think it's too much.

In a similar position - back up plan is definitely worth having. I can't imagine it going at all well for our toddler to come to the hospital, especially if middle of the night so we have hired a doula so that I won't be on my own if my DH needs to stay with our toddler. A mentored doula wasn't crazy expensive