AIBU To ask for help deciding if I need to leave my husband?

[Diel]

Hi.
I have been with my husband for going on 20 years. We have one child from a previous relationship, now 17 and 2 children together.
I feel that we have completely outgrown each other and I am starting to find him unbearable. We spend no time doing anything at all together as I gave up initiating it a few years ago. We basically co-exist in a parenting relationship.

I honestly think we bring out rhe worst in each other and although our sex life is ok, there is no friendship there. I feel that we are now starting to become bitter towards each other too.

So why don't I leave? The children adore him and he has a great relationship with them. The youngest in particular (5) wpuld be so very upset not to have us both at home. I also feel so overwhelmed by the actual logistics. Our home needs lots of work (another big issue between us)
Our families would be so upset also. Which makes me just plod on.

Should I suck it up? Or can it only end in misery for all? I feel so tired and engaging less and less at home now.

Thanks for reading. Any advice is appreciated.

Kind of there too so can't help just sympathise, he wants to split but isn't actually doing anything, I'm wondering if I want to push ahead. It's hard! Take care, I'm sure things will get clearer

I'm confused - how have you been together 20 years if the child from a previous relationship is only 17?

Picture your life ten years from now if you continue like this...

Picture your life in ten years if you make a change...

How does each picture make you feel? Ignoring all the "but how do I?" practical questions, which can you live with? Which do you want? What kind of life do you want to have lived to look back on?

What kind of model for healthy relationships do you want to give your children for their future? Will you be able to do that in both scenarios?

Apologies, been slightly off with numbers to avoid outing myself. Together when eldest was a baby and near enough 20 years together.