Tips for a super cheap wedding ??

[lauraLees1990]

Does this sound ok -
My partner and I have three small kids , recently bought a house etc so can't afford an all out wedding .
We have so much family let alone his million "close " friends 🙄 anyway .
Thinking about having a late registray office wedding with 70 guests and then straight into an evening party with buffet for say 200 people . Anyone done this ?? How much did it cost . And can you give me any tips . How would I word it on invitations that it's just wedding and evening buffet so people know not to expect a fancy three course meal etc . Also would you be a bit 😳 if someone invited you to a wedding like this ? I just don't have thousands to spend on one day when I would rather buy a new kitchen or take my boys to Disneyland 😂 but feel the time has come to get married and it's the last thing we want to do to feel like a proper family . Thanks

We've just done our wedding. @lauraLees1990 actually my OH has never been to a wedding where there is a pay bar so was very clear that was his priority. I have been to pay bar weddings but you usually get given at least welcome drinks, wine with the meal, champagne to toast, water on tables. To not get anything is a bit meh. My learning was that everything costs more than you think. E.g. check the cost of the registry office - on the Cardiff page it also shows you the fee for the registrar to conduct the ceremony....I might be wrong but think you need to add that on. The other amount was just the room hire.

Don't forget if it is DIY that you need to clean up at the end by a certain time. This requires a few sober, reliable guests all arranged in advance. And check everything - our venue stipulated you have to take rubbish away with you. Not a problem as long as you are prepared.

We had 70 guests and I honestly didn't get time to talk to everyone.

Don't worry about being unconventional. But do give your guests a lovely time. With your budget don't try to feed people twice. 4:30 ceremony. 5:30 party. 6:30 food. 10:00 End - or you will need to feed them again.

4.30pm ceremony is rather late though, you'd spend all day hanging around waiting to get married. Waste of party time!

I did the videoing for my best friend and DH did the photography

We were really pleased to do it for them

Just ask around you family and friends

I've been to a couple of weddings like this - and one where the couple had got married abroad and then had a big party for everyone afterwards. I would budget for a glass of something on arrival plus a glass for the toast and then free soft drinks on tables and a cash bar. Just make it clear on the invitations what will be provided - eg hog roast/pizza van and cash bar so no one comes unprepared.

A friend of mine couldn't decorate the hall much so just got some big bunches of helium balloons - if you can put up decorations you could make some bunting really cheaply in your colour scheme - cut out with pinking shears and sew to long lengths of cotton tape so just one (very long) seam. Beg and borrow fairy lights from everyone you know.

A friend bought plain iced Christmas cakes (in the January sale) and then hired a cake stand and knife and just decorated them with fresh flowers. If you are getting married this year look at say a smallish cake to cut and have some plain cake bars to cut up.

The last wedding I went to didn't have paper invites just a fancy email and a website - might be worth investigating as it would save money and be better for the environment.

As a PP said - at the end of the day a wedding is about celebrating two people being in love and making a commitment to each other and sharing their happy day with friends - everything else is just personal preference so have the wedding you want. Certainly don't spend shed loads of money that would be better spent elsewhere on a lavish party because the wedding industry says you should.

I think your idea absolutely is doable OP, and sounds similar to what my BIL and his wife had for their wedding. They hired a local parish hall and decorated it pretty cheaply, and rather than having caterers to do the buffet, family members helped out - it was nothing fancy but think more along the lines of sandwiches, Costco gateaux, Iceland party food, etc etc. They probably didn't have 200 guests but there were definitely over 100 so I think it's reasonable. Also they didn't provide drink at all, I realise this is a bit of a hot potato on Mumsnet wedding threads but in all my life I have only ever been to ONE wedding where all drink was paid for, and at 99% of the others, there was just a couple of bottles of wine with the meal. At BIL's wedding as there was no sit down meal, nobody expected drinks either. As it was a parish club, the bar prices were quite cheap so nobody minded.
As a PP has said, think of it more like a 30th birthday party or a christening, do as much as possible yourself / get family members to help out. Can anyone take pics, do flowers etc? You can get lovely dresses from the likes of Debenhams, you don't have to pay a grand for a dress! I think your idea is lovely as you want everyone to come and share in your happiness, have a good knees up but without the unnecessary stuff that usually goes with a wedding! Good luck x

Yes, the clear up is crap at the end, especially if you have to do it on the night.

Totally doable! My wedding is costing £2k with 20 people at the registry office and 200 at the reception. Get yourself a spreadsheet on the go!

You've already been given loads of fab ideas by pp's so I won't bore you with the details of my wedding. We have also found that friends and relatives have been so keen to help with the set-up and pack down and other wedding related things. We're a few months away now and the budget has been fine.

Food and photographer are most expensive so focus on sorting alternatives for those (we don't have a photographer and our guests are all bringing a buffet dish). Also some bar companies will do your wedding for free if you guarantee they'll make enough money, which with 200 guests you'll probably manage.

Brill thanks guys - I'm pretty sure it's going to be fine . Will have a few bottles of wine on tables too . Also my mother has offered to help pay towards food too so that will be a big help if we , which I'm sure , go over budget . I've got a degree in textiles so I'm really good at making bunting , and lots of bit like that . Also my best friends a photographer , she's offered to do the pictures . Can't see it being terribly crazy expensive .

Pay bar is absolutely fine. Friends of ours supplied some booze but asked people to byo too. They had loads left over. They had a hog roast.

Skip the decorating, the photographer, fancy cars etc. it'll be a blast.

200 people is a lot! Say you served them all a single glass of cheap fizz that’s 30 bottles - even at say £10 a bottle that’s £300. Food at £10 per head £2000. So there’s your budget gone already.

Things like the registrar, clothes, etc all add up. I’m not saying a cheap wedding isn’t do-able- it totally is, but that’s a lot of people!

Also M&S platters while cheaper aren’t that cheap! Having a party this weekend for about 30 people (though will be feeding twice) and it’s over £200.

Loads of this sounds great. I would definitely make sure there's enough food for everyone - it doesn't have to be posh food. I hate going to weddings where a tiny vol au vent is meant to sustain me for 8 hours. I think it's nice to have maybe one welcome drink but even that I'd happily forgo. Lots of weddings have pay bars.

Don't forget costco for buffet food platters and wholesale drink multipacks as this will save you a fortune.

I would definitely make sure there's enough food for everyone - it doesn't have to be posh food. I hate going to weddings where a tiny vol au vent is meant to sustain me for 8 hours

This. Especially when it’s a ham vol au vent and all the Jews, Muslims, vegetarians, vegans and gluten free people have to exist on fresh air.

Even more galling when it’s clear that the couple have spent hundreds on decorations and an instagram booth

Used Tesco party food to cater for 70 recently. £170 and virtually no leftovers. You do need to factor in how to store all the boxes between delivery and buffet, who will unpack it, how to indicate what it is so veggies etc know what they can eat and how you are going to clear it away afterwards.

Have you thought about asking a local Women's Institute to cater for you? They are used to catering for big numbers and would probably do it if you covered their costs and made a donation to their group. They would probably have some good florists amongst their members too.

That’s a lot of people to feed and get drinks for! We had a small ish wedding 80 people, ceremony followed by buffet and drinks. - no free bar but wine and beer paid for everyone. Went on into the evening where we had more buffet style food nibbles, and dancing. Guest paid for their own drinks in evening.
All in - including our rings, dresses, registrar etc if cost around £6k with at least half of that being food and drinks. Venue was free, dresses were from high st shops, everyone wore their own clothes, no party favours etc minimal flowers, friends didnmusic and DJing for us. Venue was free though we all stayed the night so they were happy.
To truly do it cheap you need to have family at the town hall and invite everyone to the pub after - but you still need to have some food I think at least and a bit of cash behind bar for a couple of rounds of drinks for everyone.

You could think about a hog roast or a massive bbq with some salads on the side. It will never be particularly cheap for 200 guests though

What are you doing for entertainment.

I’m kind of reading your thread though as all your answers seem to be “no, it’ll be fine” which is great but begs the question: why did you ask?! 😀

We went to a great wedding where the bride and groom asked all of the close local friends to bring a dish for the evening buffet instead of a gift. The buffet table looked amazing.

Straight after the ceremony we had champagne plus tea and scones to tide us over until the evening buffet started.

Drinks were provided and I think some people had contributed by bringing bottles instead of a gift.

The flowers were all picked from a local farmers field with his permission and a one of payment of £25 - these were used to decorate the church and the church hall plus were used to make simple bouquets for the bride and bridesmaids.

Another group of friends made bunting to decorate the church hall.

It was one of the most enjoyable and stress free weddings I've ever been to.

Holding a reception in a garden is a lovely idea if the garden is large enough. But don't forget the toilet facilities in your average house are unlikely to adequate for for the numbers proposed in this instance. No-one wants the abiding memory of their wedding to be the long loo queues.

And then you get into hiring portaloos (a bit 'festival') or a mobile loo block and extra costs.

Re catering, if you go the American bring a platter or dish route that really needs to be orchestrated to get a balanced spread and avoid excess.

In OP's situation. I'd have a party at a later date for the friends, who will understand the circumstances if they're true friends!

@IvanaPee I asked to get some ideas . Which I now have in terms of what to do for food etc . Some people have also given nice ideas regarding flowers and not having a professional photographer , also buying second hand items which I might never have thought of 🤷‍♀️ x

Congratulations OP! I think it’s very doable. Personally would absolutely avoid garden option - it may be bliss if the weather plays ball but you won’t know that will very close to the time, it will be miserable if it rains (it rained all day, heavily on my wedding day, thankfully inside!) plus as others have said there will be additional expenses like portaloos. A hall will be vastly easier to manage both in terms of budget and practicality.

I would have a welcome drink available (wine from somewhere that will then provide glass hire free) and then BYOB with big ice buckets provided by the sides of tables. Either platters of food from Costco/ Morrison’s or consider a locally Indian restaurant or similar who can bring the food plus the kit to keep it warm/ serve up. With your numbers I would avoid food trucks - they can only serve a few people at a time due to their size so it could take hours to get everyone fed (bad experience at a wedding of this)

Chocolate wedding cake from M&S doubling as pudding or a British bake-off contest pudding table that the guests contribute to.

Consider employing friendly teenagers (friends’s children/ local sports clubs/ churches may have good leads on this) to do clearing up on the night or the next day

As a said earlier all you need is one huge pot of vegetable biryaani (one pot meal will feed veggies & carnivores), trays of veg samosas, chicken tandoori & meat sheesh kebabs from your local curry house. Then a load of home made salads, job done & very affordable to feed a crowd with that.

*Borridge

I like the idea of renting a hall and asking guests to bring food. One of those 200 guests is probably a photographer and one is in a band or a dk? There’s your party!*

This really annoys me. I'm a dj and I have 6 requests this summer to dj at friends parties or weddings and theres never an offer of payment. Usually I'd charge 500 quid for a wedding so even if they offer to pay my hotel room and transport its not equivalent and rarely does that even happen. One day I'd like to just enjoy a friends wedding.

chestylarue52 I agree - I don’t think people realise the magnitude of the time and effort they’re asking of their friends sometimes for this sort of thing.