To think my friend should stop relying on favours for childcare ?

[LeafTurner]

So - she works part-time during school hours but apparently has lots of paperwork which she needs to do outside of this. She also talks a lot about needding "space" !

I work full time in a very heavy going job - and I have an hours commute each way !

Three times in the last month she has asked me to have her ds for a whole day - I have had to refuse each time as they were all work days and my dd was sorted out for childcare.

I think she is now not speaking to me !

Is it me - or shouldn't she sort her childcare out and stop relying on favours from very busy people ?

God yes. Cheeky mare.

Cheeky bint!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If she has stopped talking to you I would drop her like a hot potato.

That's what dh says too !

Be grateful she's not talking to you. taking the piss isn't she?

AND she calls me HUN which I detest !!!

There's no call for that.

no quite ! it is quite beyond the pale !

Don't think there's anything wrong with her asking for favours but if she's in a strop with you for saying no thats beyond unreasonable.

Why is she asking you to babysit on work days when she knows you have a full time job anyway?!

Don't know really - I do sometimes work from home - so I imagine she thinks I can look after two kids at the same time as working ! However, I organise my dd's childcare like a military operation and there is no slack !

She usually puts upon another friend who is a SAHM - but she was away a lot lately with a sick relative - so I have been asked instead. I;m not sure she thinks very hard about it - beyond what's good for her.

Dh says she is a user and to leave it, if she's not speaking to me he thinks its a result !

why is she your friend?

I would agree that if she's not speaking to you as a result then at least she's not taking the mickey anymore!

Some people don't think twice about asking for favours though and would do the same to help so it might be that she's just busy rather than ignoring you and is off asking others! Either way, win win!

Perhaps she's not - perhaps she's just someone I know through my ds !

See I am not someone who asks for favours - that's why I feel uneasy I think ! She doesn't offer anything back - maybe because I don't ask ! Maybe it's me - maybe I have got the whole dynamic wrong.

I just like to sort myself and mine out - be independent kind of thing - not rely on others.

Maybe it's me who's wrong ?

I have a friend who has asked me to have her children (6 and 3 like mine) for one day in the school holidays so she can work. So I said yes but not until after DD's swimming lesson at 10. So she normally works 9 til 3 but will do 11-5 to work round that which is fair enough because I am doing her a favour. But she does return the favour for me also, although I do have paid childcare for when I am working.

I think she is being lazy and not thinking it through.

I think that's what annoys me bozza - I am very organised and have everything planned out - whereas she is always telling people how organised she is - but actually she gets by by the seat of her pants mostly and relies heavily on people helping her out of holes !

Oh I don't know - I ma fed up anyway and have just started on Prozac - so maybe she is just a victim of my grumpiness !

hwat di doyu htink the answer to his was
no let her carry on taking oyu fro a doormat?

I think I thought IWNBU - I think you guys have confirmed it !

I don't think you've got it wrong at all leafturner - I think you've got it right. Just meant that some people see it differently thats all

Well at least my friend fully accepts that she is totally disorganised. Just keep on turning her down if you are working - that is fairly non-negotiable - but maybe take a less hard line if you are not. And ask her for a return favour - have your DD while you have your hair done or something.