in court tomorrow. No McKenzie friend. Help

[sleepysloth65]

Just had a bit of a panic and am dreading facing my ex tomorrow regarding an injunction I have against him. I am due in court and haven't seen him for weeks. He's abusive and nasty, I spoke to NCDV this morning and they tried their best to find me a McKenzie friend but they don't have any available for where I am in the country.

I just don't want to go. I'm scared of him and desperate not to see him.

Please help. Words of wisdom. Advice. Anything. I feel physically unwell.

Yes he will be able to bring people with him, they won;t be allowed in the court room but can wait outside.

Hiya, I’ve been through the court system and did have a friend with me however I’d recommend taking a book, magazines, any crossword / puzzles you like doing, if you have a tv series you could download and watch on an iPad etc?

I found all of those things helpful, and buying some light snacks / drinks so I wouldn’t stress about needing food / but not wanting any feeling sick / not wanting to leave the room.

I found I had a really short attention span due to anxiety kicking in so would suggest a variety of things to occupy you.

Best of luck OP

Oh and sorry - are you aware you can potentially request a witness protection room so totally separate and away from them and a screen so you don’t have to see him?
I’m not 100% on the above given the type of court case this might be - however in crown court they will always have the above available.

I hope I'm not waiting too long it's the first time I've ever left me son with someone else!

I've been through court with an abusive ex, same one twice. If I was in EA, I would ask if you wanted me there. I've offered for others before. I had Women's Aid with me when I had to go. And on one of the occasions, SS were nearby as well.

Being supported really helps but I can tell you, it still feels absolutely gut wrenching having to go in. BUT it's just a room with some legal people in. They are humans like you. You don't have to look at your ex.

You've got this.

You should definitely be able to go to victims support and arrive early too as you may be able to get more help if you arrive before your due in court. Also, you may not have to actually go into court its self. The prosecution do a lot of running about on your behalf backwards and forwards between yourself and your exs solicitor to come to a plea and an agreement before actually stepping foot in court. From experience you are not forced unless it goes to cross examining and even then you are supported through victim support.
I went into court to hear my ex admit his guilt just to show i was no longer scared. Hope all goes well, your doing great xxxxxxx

My legal team have previously arranged for a screen to be placed in the courtroom so I didn't have to face my ex. Speak to someone as soon as you arrive to request a screen - call the court first thing too, if possible. If you have the screen up, and he isn't using a barrister, he can also be told to address all comments to the judge (or your barrister if you had one) so he isn't speaking to you directly.

Remember, you will be in a public building with lots of staff and security guards. You will be very safe and have tons of witnesses if he starts anything. It's okay if you cry; they've seen it all before. BW for tomorrow. x

I’m pretty sure you can’t just claim special measures on a whim

Hope you get help, as suggested call first thing and I think lau888’s suggestion of a screen is a really good idea.

Good luck for tomorrow 💐

matahairyy, the OP can explain that it's a DA/DV case. That is sufficient reason for special measures.

Which court are you going to (civil or mags) Is it a breach of the injunction? We’re police involved?

Depending on the answers you might not need a MF.

@lau888 it’s not a given that special measures with be granted for DV/DA cases.

Thinking if you today OP and sending you the strength of a thousand MNers 🙂

Supporting you from a distance op you can do this xxxx

Good luck op- look how far you’ve come. Will be supporting you from afar.

Another one thinking of you today.
When you're there I hope you can picture us with you, because many have been through similar situations and we will all be willing you strength and calm.

Good luck OP, thinking of you today

All the best OP. It will be a hard day, but you will get through it. Be kind to yourself.

Good Luck op.

I feel sick 😕

Ffs and my period just arrived. I feel so dizzy and unwell. This is awful!

You can do this Sleepy, I know it feels like a massive undertaking, but all that means is you'll feel so very proud of yourself once it's over

I had this exact scenario last year. I am in Ipswich. Do you need me to come with you? Do you want to meet after or just someone to make sure you get back to car safely? If it is Ipswich ask the ushers to let you out the back way before him so he cant follow you.

Take some painkillers, sip some water.

You can do this.

I wore my sunglasses inside (after asking usher) I just felt safer from eye contact with him. I looked forward constantly and ignored him