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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - told off by restaurant manager

41 replies

MRex · 03/06/2019 16:12

I'm struggling to see why the manager thought I was unreasonable; this being AIBU someone must have a theory. Anyway I've sent off a complaint as it's a small chain.

The description of what happened is:
"I advised your manager that having 2 racks of high chairs blocking the accessible / baby change toilet door from opening more than 12 inches makes the toilet inaccessible for a wheelchair or a pushchair. As a regular customer, I already said this once since the makeover, because an old man with a stick struggled to get in, but they are still there. He said that is the designated spot for them and they can't go anywhere else, then walked off. A woman with a slim pushchair arrived some time later while I was eating, obviously couldn't get her pushchair in, so she restacked some high chairs and went into the toilet. The manager grabbed the chairs and put them out of the way by a table then ran over to me and very aggressively shouted at me that high chairs mustn't be stacked more than 3 high and I was creating a health and safety issue. I told him I hadn't touched them and it was nothing to do with me but was the woman who was still in the toilet with her pushchair, he said "I thought she was with you" then stamped away. She wasn't, but even if she was I shouldn't be shouted at in front of my toddler because another adult removed an obstacle that was preventing them from using the toilet."

Keeping this short, but I did add on the complaint about not going back and how I think they really need to keep the accessible toilet door actually accessible.

So, any ideas why the manager thought I was being unreasonable? Is it because I complained on two occasions about them blocking the accessible toilet door? I was polite so I'm still a bit shaken and baffled as to what else I should have done.

OP posts:
Gizlotsmum · 03/06/2019 17:17

That's a pretty good response from above. I am sure it will be fed back to him. Do you want a reason/apology for the shouting?

iklboo · 03/06/2019 17:19

Was manager Basil Fawlty? What a tool.

WhereYouLeftIt · 03/06/2019 17:20

"'I'm still none the wiser in figuring out why the guy shouted at me."
Because he's a dick.

GraceSlicksRabbit · 03/06/2019 17:21

Good result from the head office OP. That said, their training must be terrible if staff are unable to recognise that stacking chairs in front of the disabled toilet breaks every disability regulation in the book. Is the food any good?

I bet that twatty manager’s reaction would have been different if the same point had been raised by a wheelchair user. I suspect there was a bit of anti-Mummy sentiment in his attitude.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/06/2019 17:24

i'd say he yelled at you because he is VERY IMPORTANT and had LOTS OF TRAINING and he KNOWS THINGS and you are ^just^ a customer who should eat and shut up. You have no right telling the very important man with his lots of training that means he knows things that he is in fact wrong. How dare you question his superiority.

MRex · 03/06/2019 17:29

@Relightmyfirepit - I think I was assertive enough in raising complaints. I don't like people shouting at me and I'm not going to start enjoying it.

It's a reason I want rather than an apology, yes. Maybe I should have pushed harder for them to come back and give me a reason why he got so aggressive with me. DS was creating happy mayhem while I was on the phone and it felt like the guy was resolving everything that mattered.

OP posts:
diddl · 03/06/2019 17:34

"He hazarded that the guy was taking the requirement to keep the new restaurant layout seriously, but hadn't thought sufficiently to realise that obviously it would have to be adapted if there was an issue,"

So they hire junior managers with no common sense as well as no manners??!!

LolaSmiles · 03/06/2019 17:38

He was in the wrong.
You rightfully complained.
It's been resolved.

To push for wanting a reason for why he shouted/was short and be considering not using the voucher seems like either making a mountain out of a molehill or seeking to further point score in my opinion.

People can snap for any number of reasons: being a dick, being a bit stressed, straw that broke the camel's back, lots on their mind. Who knows. It's resolved so move on.

PennyStocks · 03/06/2019 18:13

People agreeing with me is all very nice, but it means I'm still none the wiser in figuring out why the guy shouted at me.

OK, YANBU, but I think you're being a bit disingenuous now. People shout because they're stressed and frustrated. He knows the accessible toilet has to be accessible. He also knows the high chairs have to go somewhere. It's been a problem without a solution until today as no one higher up the food chain was interested in giving him any help with it. You pointing out on a regular basis that he still hasn't solved the problem with no solution = having a bad day = feeling shouty.

Ironically, now that you've complained about him, the manager has intervened, but now he's got another problem, also generated by you, so maybe don't be too mystified if he's not thrilled to see you next time, either. Hmm

Bluntness100 · 03/06/2019 18:17

Cmon op. What do you want here as an answer ? He's a knob, or he's got anger management issues? You're an adult. You know full well why people shout. Anger, frustration.annoyance. Whatever.

The response uou got from the chain was good. Leave it there.

ScreamingValenta · 03/06/2019 18:18

It's a reason I want rather than an apology, yes

You had very poor service and you've rightly been compensated. A reason isn't going to add anything - what do you expect to hear? 'I was in a bad mood because my girlfriend broke up with me?' 'I was irritable because I got no sleep last night due to noisy neighbours' - or quite possibly:

'The last time I moved those highchairs I got a bollocking from the very same person who's now given you a voucher, and I was told never to move them again, even if the place was on fire.'

Relightmyfirepit · 03/06/2019 18:31

Just wondering where I said you have to enjoy it? Hmm

Relightmyfirepit · 03/06/2019 18:31

But shaken and baffled seem like an overreaction

PCohle · 03/06/2019 18:38

People agreeing with me is all very nice, but it means I'm still none the wiser in figuring out why the guy shouted at me.

But it seems pretty clear from your OP that he thought you/a member of your party had moved the highchairs. So from his perspective, you raised an issue with him and, despite him explaining why they had to remain where they are, you went ahead and moved them anyway creating a health and safety hazard.

Obviously he was wrong but his POV isn't hard to grasp. You've got a good outcome, I think you need to let it go a bit now.

MRex · 03/06/2019 19:37

I'm not shaken any more, I was immediately afterwards for a short while. I don't deal well with people shouting aggressively at me, in my normal life that's not actually a problem.

from his perspective, you raised an issue with him and, despite him explaining why they had to remain where they are, you went ahead and moved them anyway
If he saw her though, then he saw she didn't fit through the door without moving furniture. And he didn't apologise when I told him I don't know her. Nevertheless, I think this is probably closest to his thought process so I'm taking it as the reason.

I didn't expect a reply so quickly, so it was nice briefly to get input here. Thank you all for your comments.

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 03/06/2019 21:47

Nevertheless, I think this is probably closest to his thought process so I'm taking it as the reason.
At the risk of sounding blunt, how many people on this thread have to say he could have snapped for any number of reasons?

It's dealt with. There doesn't need to be a 'reason'. Move on.

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