Is this a loaded question?

[weightlossisjustmesmaller]

I have name changed for this as I feel uncomfortable about it somehow.

I have lost a good bit of weight recently, from being a bit overweight (bmi 27ish) to an average weight (bmi 23/4).

I have had a few people (all men) saying to me "What does your husband think about you losing all this weight?". I never have a clue how to respond. One particular male colleague says it to me daily, and today went further and said "I'd be suspicious if my wife suddenly lost all that weight".

Two questions:

• how would you reply to these people? I have just been saying "he's pleased for me"
• in the case of this particular person who harps on, WHY?!?! What is he wanting me to say?

I know it's trivial but I'm finding the "have you lost weight?" comments hard enough, but this loaded question just makes me so uncomfortable. I feel really exposed, and not in a nice way. Is this normal when you lose weight?

He means he would think his wife was having/wanting an affair and losing weight for that. It shows he’s a bit of an arsehole to be fair. Ignore. Or look blank and ask what on earth he means - that should fluster him a bit.

Or alternatively, turn around to the cheeky sods, and tell 'em, 'I can tell you how I did it if you like, you're certainly collecting around the old middle, aren't you'. . .

Honest to god, what the hell is up with these people! What kind of minds do they have that they say things like that? They sound unhinged - maybe you should tell them that

In the case of the particular male colleague that says"I'd be suspicious if my wife suddenly lost all that weight". I would look him in the eye and say "Why? Your poor wife"

If it's daily asking - just say - "the same as I told you yesterday, are you getting a little forgetful...?"

Some men are obviously very insecure

Well done on the loss :-)

Maybe they are fishing for info and trying to find out if you are single?

Today I slightly lost it and just said "you're not the first man to ask me this for some reason...do you think maybe it could be just that I didn't want to remain overweight forever?"

The irony is he doesn't have a bloody wife! He is single wonder why

Just wink and say his pretty impressed all that extra stamina

What a shitty thing to ask! 'dunno, why don't you text him and ask' would probably be my reply.

ahahahah! LOVE the "why don't you text him and ask"....that is bloody genius. Becuase actually even answering the question feels like a betrayal somehow. It's horrible! I like that tact.

The extra stamina thing wouldn't work...because actually my instinct is telling me this is actually exactly what this colleague wants to know now you say that. There is definitely something deeply uncomfortable about it.

I wore a fancy wig once to a concert and the first comment I got was from some bloke asking 'does your boyfriend like you wearing that wig'. It's some weird insidious sexual thing and needs shutting down. BF was nearby so I did actually say 'he's over there, you can ask him.. No go on! I'll call him over!" That shut him up and he looked quite worried.

What a weird, rude thing to ask. I can't think of anything sufficiently dismissive and scathing to reply to that.

He’s just looking at it from an appearance POV. What about the health implications? The more overweight you are, the more health complications you are likely to have! He sounds like a dickhead - no wonder he’s not married

"Husband thinks it's great, he doesn't have to reinforce the sex swing any more" wink and walk away should stop repeated remarks!!!