DM makes me feel like a crap parent

[orgu]

We're close and she tells me I'm a good parent etc but she just constantly tells me in public that DS (2 & 3 months) is naughty because of me and because I have no discipline or I'm 'pathetic' with him.

To me, my DS is majoritively well-behaved for a toddler (I type that as he has a massive tantrum though!)
He:

1. walks well 50% of the time but gets lazy 50% of the time and cries to be carried
2. will pull on your arm sometimes when walking and cry if you hold him back
3. will struggle to sit still in cafés etc unless it's just me and him and will run off
4. sometimes cries if he's not allowed to do something in public in which case he'll be picked up and carried away from it
5. is a fussy eater and has been for a while

I feel like these are all fairly standard things but any time we're out with DM (he does get more difficult then for some reason), she's constantly making a fuss and a scene and making loud comments about my lack of discipline and how it's obvious why he behaves this way and loudly apologizing to other people. It feels really condescending and makes me feel really crap about myself!!
AIBU about this?

Sounds like a normal 2 year old to me!

My ds is 2&2months and hes naughty 99% of the time (the other 1% hes sleeping). It's because he's 2 because I am obviously an amazing parent

I would refuse to be around someone who embarrassed me and undermined my parenting like that. Your DS sounds completely normal but he's going to be confused hearing someone criticising you like that as he grows up. I would tell your DM it stops or you and your DS don't see her and mean it. What's she going to be saying to your son about you as he grows up? She has no respect for your parenting.

He sounds like a very normal 2 year old, all of mine were exactly the same. Your DM is a prick.

We're close and she tells me I'm a good parent etc but she just constantly tells me in public that DS (2 & 3 months) is naughty because of me and because I have no discipline or I'm 'pathetic' with him.

A mother who makes you feel like a crap parent like this is herself the crap parent.

Feel free to tell her so. She clearly believes in open communications :-)

My DM is like this too. Anytime my kids (4 and 7) misbehave she talks about how they have no respect, are brats etc.. They behave worse around her, I think because they feel stressed out. If I try and explain things from their POV I get told I'm "making excuses for them". I'm not a completely lax parent but she comes from the "adults can treat kids however they want and kids have to be well behaved at all times" school of parenting (I feel a lot of guilt just for existing, tbh).

she's constantly making a fuss and a scene and making loud comments about my lack of discipline and how it's obvious why he behaves this way and loudly apologizing to other people.

Honestly, she sounds more of an embarrassment to be out with than a 2 year old. He sounds pretty normal for his age!

I think id reply with hes 2 whats your excuse? Or a simple fuck off.

I'd be saying, 'Mum, they're perfectly normal children behaving in a perfectly age appropriate manner. They are learning. I am teaching them. Give us all a break. You did things your way, and now I'm doing things mine. One of the things you always taught us (she's bound to have said this at some stage, no mother ever managed not to) was that if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything. Please take your own advice, because I'm getting really sick of your criticism and negativity, it's REALLY beginning to piss me off'.

Why does this make you feel like a crap parent? Do you think she's right, that you should be "disciplining" him for perfectly normal toddler behaviour? Because when I heard any of that from my parents (my dad in particular is big on ensuring children know who's in charge ) it didn't make me think I was a crap parent. Rather it reminded me of how ridiculously strict they were, the stupid things they would make a massive bloody production about, being punished for the most minor transgressions and just what a negative environment it was. It's not my parenting I question...

Seriously you need to pull her up when she does this, you're perfectly entitled to say that might be how you did things mum but I prefer to do things differently. You could also suggest that if she finds it so difficult and embarrassing to be out with your dc then perhaps she shouldn't come. Might make her reassess and shut up.

Omg I wish my mum was more like that tbh. She let's my son get away with murder and he behaves with her in a way I find mortifying. He doesn't act like it with me as I'm fairly strict but fair so he knows where he stands and what's expected.
Sounds like your mum is embarrassed by behaviour and trying to make it look like all your fault.
If I were you I'd tell her what's in your head and make a decision of how much you see her based on her response.