Or are people more rude when you have children

[LyndzB]

Before I had DS, I'd always open doors for people, help pick up change if someone dropped it on the floor, let people passed me etc. This, the majority of the time, was reciprocated bar a few people. But since I've had DS (5months) I've noticed people seem so much more rude.

I've had doors slam into my pram. I've struggled to get through doors into places where people have sat and stared (I always help!) I've had people tut at me for just walking with my son in the sling. Is this coincidental? Or has anyone else noticed that once you have a child, a lot more people seem rude!

I find it the other way round and find people to be more helpful. I am looking after my baby nephew today and when we've been out for a walk a few cars have stopped to let us cross and someone held the shop door open for me.

I suppose you are now noticing rudeness that you wouldn’t have before - wouldn’t have had a pram before baby so wouldn’t have noticed people not helping you

I agree - people tend to see you as an inconvenience with a child!
I took my baby to Subway with me yesterday and got some tuts from the staff when she started crying (I was taking away, not eating in), but they didn't consider the fact that they were literally the slowest sandwich makers I've ever experienced in my life. She only whimpered a couple of times and stopped as soon as I soothed her - they should count themselves lucky she didn't cry properly haha!

I have found it to be the other way, people getting up to open doors for me and pram, helping pram up and down few stairs ramps etc, stopping in their cars to let us cross. It's been quite nice actually

I had to go into a Boots the other day. Our baby had just had his first injections and after the little man had finished screaming and crying his heart out from them, he fell asleep in my dh's arms so he carried him and I pushed the empty pram with the baby bag in it. I walked into Boots while they waited outside. I don't know if it was the pram or the fact a (pretty obviously so) baby bag was inside it, but I encountered a rude judgemental woman. Completely ignored me when I politely said 'excuse me sorry' and smiled when I needed to get past her (tiny gap but I could have fit with pram, but was worried I would appear rude if I brushed past her), then spent the rest of the time giving me the dirtiest look watching me go around the aisles try to find what I was looking for. I felt completely judged and just wanted to scoop her up into empty pram and push it down a hill.

What? Totally opposite for me. Everytime people see me with the kids or the buggy they want to help!

b0bb1n a few of the shoplifters where I used to work pushed empty prams as a way to steal. That and wandering around the shop may have seemed suspicious to her.

I’ve also noticed the opposite since having my daughter.

The opposite for me too. I usually find when I'm (rarely) out alone people are usually rude and a bit ignorant. In saying that, I don't expect anyone to help me with anything and I get embarrassed when kind strangers offer assistance.

Complete opposite for me! People have helped me up and down stairs with the buggy. Held doors. Stepped on to the road so I can go past with the buggy. I've had sympathetic looks rather than judgey ones when he's been crying in public. I think it helps that he spends his entire life grinning and waving at people. Its certainly not my sunny sleep deprived disposition they're picking up on...

I've had very rude stares and comments when walking around shops with double pram, especially from the older generation funnily enough. Many people are more helpful but it only takes a few negative comments to damper the mood.

50/50 in my experience. Some people are lovely, some people make it very clear that you are inconveniencing them by existing with a child in public.

Of course it does work both ways with some parents expecting the entire world to move around their kids. I've always tried to help where I can but sometimes I agree people can see pram + baby and think it's going to be an inconvenience.

Do you still help people OP? You write that...'before you had children' you helped others and now are criticising others for not doing yet your post suggests you no longer do.

FEF1102 - badly written but yes of course! Would be very hypocritical of me if I didn’t!

And glad to hear that in many cases it is just me :)

People can seem more rude and nosy! I found they tell you things and ask things, un-asked for advice such as "Are they Ok in there, can they breathe?" (sling) and in a queue..tell you they need fed, when they cry (no, it is because I've stopped moving). This can be annoying.

On helping others...it sometimes is not as easy or practical to open doors and collect dropped change for others when you are managing a pram and small DC though.

Am really surprised OP, I have had the exact opposite experience; people thrusting glasses of water at me unasked when I was BFing, holding doors, getting out of lifts to let me get in with the buggy, and lots and lots of lovely fuss over my DDs. One lady even offered to buy our lunch in a cafe when it turned out they didn’t accept contactless, to save me going back to the car with the two kids in tow!

I think people in general are more rude than they used to be, not just if you have children just this morning I was stood on the bus and an older woman came on and nobody offered her a seat (the bus driver refused to move untill someone did as she struggled to get on the bus never mind stand for the journey) I see things like it all the time. A couple of years ago I would have found it rare but not now