To want to go off grid for a while

[StonedRoses]

AIBU to want to just run away and hide with no contact from anyone? ‘D’P has been unwell for the twelve years I known them, physically and mentally. It flairs up, sometimes it’s good, sometimes not so. I dread the phone ringing or text because it’s usually some crisis. Sometimes adversity brings couples closer but not us. I know AIBU but I resent DP. I resent the cancelled holidays, the family days out ruined, the days and evenings sat in hospital waiting rooms, I resent that I have sacrificed a lot of my career. I resent that i seem to be a carer.

All i want to do is throw my phone in the river and go away from everyone. And concentrate on me and my DS (8). Obvious I can’t because I can’t take him out of school and I don’t know if DP will be well enough. If I leave my phone no doubt some crisis will occur and I will be at fault for being in contactable . But it’s what I want to do so badly.

You are not unreasonable to want to go off grid at all, it sounds really thought for you. Is this a relationship you want to continue? Do you have friends that you re able to meet with and have time out sometimes?

There's nothing 'unreasonable' about your resentment. Do you want this relationship to continue? Forget about what he wants or needs for a moment -- what do you want?

I don’t know what I want at the moment. I just want a break from all the stresses life brings. But even a break isn’t really one as I’m constantly watching and waiting for the phone. I get plenty of time to myself when DS is at school but no friends to hang out with. So even if I go for a run or something I’m just thinking over all this stuff and constantly checking the phone

It’s ok to put yourself first sometimes, you sound at the end of your tether. Does he have a sibling who could just take the strain for a weekend while you go away with your DS.
You need a life, that’s not unreasonable.
Does the condition he has have an associated support network where you could find out how other people manage/don’t manage?

And it would be worth thinking about some talking therapy for you, it can be really helpful when you’re feeling besieged.