Talk to me about sensory processing disorder

[B3ck89]

Good morning 😊
It’s kind of an Aibu
Can anyone offer any advise on sensory processing disorder and if this sounds like it? And who I seek help from?
Bit of background - I have a nearly 8 year old who was diagnosed with global development delay just before he turned 4 years old.

The last 4 years have been hard, it’s been like 4 years with a defiant toddler.
Where most people get past the toddler behaviour by age 3/4/5 we are still experiencing it daily.

He does have an ehcp and in a specialist school which is fantastic and he is thriving in an environment where he is happy and accepted.

We have struggled with the things he does and I’m out of ideas I’m losing the will to live.

He will go into the bathroom and spray perfume, or Chuck talcum powder over the bathroom, squirts toothpaste all over the sink. All sorts of stuff like that I could go on.
He has taken to urinating in his bedroom weather it’s on the floor, in shoes and I’ve had to rip his carpet up and replace so much stuff.
His inability to listen to the most simple instruction, and do the complete opposite.
He knows it’s wrong so why does he do it?
He will interrupt conversations constantly, no matter who it is and who is talking.
We are in a shared communal area, and every time an adult appears he Will stand there asking a dozen questions, despite us telling him to leave people alone.

He won’t leave his 17 month old brother alone, he’s constantly annoying him, and deliberately winds him up.

I am at the end of my tether with this constant misbehaviour and it’s seems like the older he’s getting, it’s just not changing with age.
We do have consequences in place for when he does these things, like being grounded, no tablet etc. But it’s not working, no matter how severe the consequences he will do it again.

I feel like I’m shouting at him so much, and being stressed with him.

I hope I can talk with others who have had similar.

Oh OP that sounds incredibly hard and must be exhausting for you. From my very limited experience with DS, I'm not sure that it does sound like SPD.

DS was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and dyspraxia last year when he was 12. He has a limited food palate, aversion to strong smells and gets very freaked out by loud noises however his main issues are around textures and what he can feel. Hair cuts, nail cutting and being dirty (particularly his hands) are still difficult, he has massive panic attacks over suntan lotion and the most recent thing was over wearing a verruca sock.

We used a private Ed Psych for DS's diagnosis although we did have some CAMHS intervention when he was younger but if he is already in a specialist school, is there someone there that you can talk to first?

OP - that does sound difficult at the moment. We have a 10 year old with a global delay and sensory processing and I also am unsure this fits SPD profile - but i'm not an expert.

Our child has to be making noise all the time and cannot settle unless there is noise around him, he struggles with textures of clothes etc. he also has problems with the internal senses and so cannot tell if he is hungry or full, cannot tell if he is hot or cold, cannot tell if he needs the toilet.

Sometimes he simply does not notice a sensory thing and then the feeling hits him like a tsunami and is unbearable - so will not notice a cut for a while but then be screaming in agony.

Tattiepants - its great to hear we are not alone with the suntan lotion issue - complete melt downs if we insist he wears some.

I would start with talking to the school and take it from there.

I have hell of the special support service who help with children with additional needs.
She done a questionaire to see if he fits it’s, which she said he does somewhat.
She said he seems to be seeking out smells/liquids.
I should have explained in more depth.
When In the shower he will use a whole bottle of shampoo/shower gel ( could be on purpose) he’s always soaking stuff when he goes to the toilet - no end of toilet rolls and sanitary towels
He also seems to be wanting to touch someone/anything all the time.

It’s so hard to distinguish weather he’s being a total pain and being naughty, or if there is more to it.
I can’t take much more

Help not hell

@Basecamp65 we've found the roll-ons cause slightly less tension than others. On a previous thread someone mentioned one that goes on like water but I haven't investigated yet. It's still easier to cover him up as much as possible.

Its probably a bit of both being naughty, and a bit of sensory seeking!

If he's seeking, then I would suggest trying some sensory work with him, buying some cheap showergels or whatever, and a plastic tub and sitting down with him so he has some 'yes' time with you and being allowed to seek/explore in a guided fashion!

My son has SPD as part of an Autism diagnosis (and Dyspraxia and ADHD, and Food Aversion...I could go on xD) but he's more sensory averse with liquids.

He did go through a phase of emptying out our air freshners, poo smearing...etc but I just made sure everything was kept out of his reach and supervised his bathroom visits!

The talking is the same thing.. I generally find he will talk over us/interrupt because he's struggling with the sensory input of the environment, so will try and compensate by self regulation.. IE, making the noise himself to combat the noise around us. For this one I found ear defenders and hooded tops helped immensely.

He responds very well to physical input from me, so hugging, resting my hand on his head, stroking his hair or his back, squeezing his hands, it might distract the other person, but at least I can mostly hold a conversation!

IMO, what you have described in your first post is not SPD.

He will interrupt conversations constantly, no matter who it is and who is talking.
We are in a shared communal area, and every time an adult appears he Will stand there asking a dozen questions, despite us telling him to leave people alone.

These sound like pragmatic difficulties - ie with the unwritten rules of conversation and socialising, like turn taking, recognising when the listener is bored or lost, understanding personal space and how to treat strangers as opposed to members of the family, etc.

His inability to listen to the most simple instruction, and do the complete opposite.
He knows it’s wrong so why does he do it?

Have you watched a speech and language therapist's assessment of his comprehension, auditory memory and attention? This could either be that he is not in fact understanding simple instructions; it is easy to assume children with SN understand more than they do, partly because they use visual cues and an understanding of the routine to cover up that they don't understand the language on its own. Even if he does understand the language, he may not pay attention long enough to comprehend instructions; or his memory may be so poor he can't remember them long enough to carry them out?

I suggest you read "The Explosive Child" - the main premise of the book is that children want their parents' love and approval, but sometimes the demands on them are too great for their abilities and under pressure, they "misbehave". Its also about giving them a bit of choice in their life - like rather than "Put your snow coat on", say "Do you want to wear your red or blue coat?" can defuse a potentially explosive situation.

Children with SPD either don't get enough input or too much from their senses. So for example:

1. noise - they can't cope with loud noise or certain noises like babies crying, hand driers, women's high pitched laughter, etc.
2. temperature - can't cope with a bath at a normal temperature
3. textures of food or clothes (like wool or clothes labels next to the skin)
4. seek out spinning, swinging up and down, etc
5. attention is improved by sharp tastes in the mouth like lemon juice, fizzy sweets; or chewing on gum, cream crackers, etc.
6. they may fidget all the time to improve the information coming from the skin and joints, so they can tell where they are in space.

It could be he is seeking out smells or textures on his skin to improve the functioning of his brain. Look up Jean Ayres, she is the person who came up with the idea of SPD.

Star charts, which reward positive behaviour are likely to be better at eliminating undesirable behaviours, than punishment - although I can only do one at a time with DD; and the targets have to be achievable for her, otherwise if they are too hard, she would just give up. (She stopped bothering to go to the toilet for a while, and just wet herself.) Never take a reward off them either, as a punishment.

Thankyou for your reply.

I really don’t know how to manage it without making a mess, because when he’s doing these things he makes an absolute mess.
He has been an absolute nightmare for the last few years.
It sounds absolutely awful but I don’t like taking him places, like to see family/friends as it can be so embarrassing the way he behaves.
He will ask questions over and over again, when someone else is getting attention he will barge in and try to be the centre of attention.
When that happens we use naughty step and then talk about why he went on there, but 5 minutes later he will do it again.
His friendships are strained because he is just too much for most kids, I notice that family gets a bit fed up after a while because he can be very draining.

God I sound awful writing down all the bad in him but after 10 days off school he’s driving me round the bend.

I see so many people with children with SN talking so positive and I’m here tearing my hair out struggling to see the good

I would not use the naughty step for asking questions over and over again. He can't help it - a bit is faulty or missing in the way his brain works. They can do it, because hearing the same answer over and over again is soothing; or because they find it hard to put language together, so repetition of the same sentence over and over again solves that problem; or its a way of controlling the conversation, so they don't have to work hard at comprehending the other person's language. Put a limit on it - just say after 10 times, I have answered the question, I am not talking about it again and try distraction to get them onto something else.

I am not sure if the link will work?

www.cht.nhs.uk/fileadmin/site_setup/contentUploads/Services/Clinical/Children_s_Therapy_services/Childrens_Therapy/Speech___Language_Therapy/Pragmatic_Language_Impairment_information.pdf.

That is not to say that he has pragmatic language impairment; but it is a basic description of pragmatic difficulties for you.

I don’t use the naughty step straight away for asking questions.
If he gets too much we will tell him to calm down and not to interfere if someone is busy, if he carries on after his warning he will then go on the naughty step.

Looking at it again, that does not mean to say he has autistic spectrum disorder either. Pragmatic difficulties can arise for a number of reasons.

This might be of no help at all but this is what we have done that might cover a few of your problems:

• All shampoo etc out of reach
• Allow him an entire bottle of (cheep) shower gel when he’s in the bath
• Never buy soft or sentend loo roll, it’s far too attractive to him *supervised loo visits *Get out of the house for long park visits. Swings and climbing frame especially.

I don’t use the naughty step straight away for asking questions.
If he gets too much we will tell him to calm down and not to interfere if someone is busy, if he carries on after his warning he will then go on the naughty step.

Its called perseveration and punishment for doing it, won't stop him:

www.understood.org/en/friends-feelings/common-challenges/self-control/perseveration-adhd-and-learning-issues

OP it is not easy, My DD nearly 11 still empties toothpaste shampoo, ruins my makeup, is extremely messy high maintenance, as she is hitting puberty it is getting worse, there is consequences she is always sorry but never learns from it, she is not maturing, she unfortunately has HFA DCD.
The only thing that worked for us was a chart, it didn't work for long though.