Moving baby into own room at 4 and a half months

[velveteenwabbit]

We are considering moving DD into her own room to sleep as she is a very noisy sleeper. DH wants to move her, I wanted to keep her with us until 6 months but we already do let her nap in a separate room to us with a video monitor on.

Has anyone else done this? I'm not sure about it as I know it's recommended they're in a room with an adult until 6 months.

We moved DD at 3 months, also a noisy sleeper, and would have done it much sooner only the bedroom wasn't finished! So much better for her and us!

Lots of people I know did this and it was fine. However I couldn’t personally because if something happened I would never forgive myself.

I was horrified when my husband suggested moving our 6 week old son into his own room. (In fairness, my husband was the one who mainly got up at night for him as I’d sleep through a thunderstorm back then!) The room was next door to our own and we had a very reliable baby monitor but I was rather worried the first night. However, our son was absolutely fine and so were we. We did the very same with our second son. They are now grown up twenty-somethings. We never had any problem with their bedtimes or their sleeping through the night. Maybe we were just lucky but I do think being in their own rooms before they were aware of the fact helped greatly.

My view is that if the other risk factors are low (so non-smoking, non-prem, 4-months old, on back, nothing else in cot, ideally breastfed) then the risk of cot death is truly truly truly tiny. Definitely lower than the risk of being run-over when crossing the road/dying in a car crash.

So I felt we didn’t need the small additional protective factor of room sharing. And it helped me and the babies sleep which is good for forms of safety like not accidentally dropping something on them!

There is no right answer here, and of course “my baby was fine” is not really an argument, but I would encourage you to get the risk “in proportion” as much as you can.

@BertieBotts shared room was not the advice I received in early 2007. Maybe it changed by 2008. The mws and hvs I had the misfortune to deal with were only concerned with mothers who were successful at bf (different thread, obviously), so they didn't give much of a shit about "failures " like me. I hope that's changed.

We lasted until 5 months before moving her to her own room with a video monitor. She has been fine, but of course I worried and worried. She slept better without us waking her by accident and DH sleeps better and I have more good night's than I used to so it has worked out for us, I had wanted to wait til 6 months but after a particularly bad night we decided to just try it and she hasn't been back! Maybe trial it for one night and see how you feel? At the same time it is a reccomendation for a reason so if it doesn't make much of a difference maybe keep baby with you a bit longer

The fall in SIDS incidence is largely due to putting babies on their back to sleep - front sleeping increases SIDS risk six-fold - and better education about the risk of falling asleep on the sofa with your baby (which increases SIDS risk fifty-fold).

I agree with PPs who suggest keeping everything in proportion. You need to live in a way that's manageable for you and your marriage. If moving your baby into their own room at 4 months helps your sleep, mental health, and your relationship with your husband, that may justify deviating from the guidance, which in the case of room-sharing isn't based on amazing evidence showing causation anyway.

Just get some on the silicon war plugs? They are really good but if the baby cries you would still be able to hear that. But they will block out all the other irritating noises.

My baby is a noisy sleeper, she grunts from 4am onwards, I think it's a combination of gas and congestion. No amount of burping and saline nasal spray fixes it though. Anyway, she still sleeps right beside me in a cosleeping cot. I get more sleep this way because I can breastfeed lying down, having to get up in the middle of the night to get her from another room would be a nightmare. I think I'd worry too much to sleep too. We're planning to keep her in with us until at least 6 months but probably longer.

It's best to follow SIDS guidelines until following them means increasing risk elsewhere - sleep deprivation can be more dangerous etc. But if its just for convenience to put the baby in another room then it seems a bit selfish to increase the risk of SIDS just to make your life a bit easier.

It was FSID advice was all I meant. I don't know whether midwives and HVs would have necessarily been giving out the same advice. In fact the only one I remember being told was about feet to foot and blanket layers. Of course now they don't even recommend blankets because sleeping bags are so widely available but back then they were a new thing.

It's best to follow SIDS guidelines until following them means increasing risk elsewhere - sleep deprivation can be more dangerous etc. But if its just for convenience to put the baby in another room then it seems a bit selfish to increase the risk of SIDS just to make your life a bit easier.

If you choose to prioritise risk over absolutely everything else, that's fine, but I don't believe it follows that everyone should. You get this with car seat discussions as well. Everyone is free to weight risk, convenience, preference, parenting philosophy etc as they deem appropriate in decision making. Personally if a decision involves a tiny increase in risk but a huge increase in convenience I'd definitely consider it and I think many would. We should definitely factor risk into our decisions but IMO it doesn't have to be the only thing to base decisions on.

I wouldn’t personally. I wouldn’t have coped if the worst had happened.
There is new evidence to suggest that SIDS risk is related to serotonin levels?
Anyway - my boy still sleeps with me and he is one and a half so what do I know

I moved my son into his own room age 5 months, with a baby monitor. He was huge though - looked like at least 6 months old. No risk factors, and there were no recommendations in those days re sleeping in different rooms.

He instantaneously began sleeping through. Turned out I'd been keeping him awake as much as the other way around!

Ds used to do Proper Manly Snores even as a newborn.

@BertieBotts - great post. And there's always a strong correlation between those who won't knowingly take any risk, no matter how small, and those who can't understand why others might make different decisions...

We moved ous into the landing outside our room at 1 week (I'm a very light sleeper)

Then into his own room downstairs (3 story house) at 3 months. I hear every cry. I was breastfeeding too, so strangely it kept me in tune with him as I still woke up moments before he would cry.