Oh in love with another woman

[duvetdaze]

I'm worried. I think my oh is in love with another woman . They work together. He says they're friends . He talks about her a lot. He gets excited talking about her. He continually tells me how funny she is or else spends an incredible amount of time on his phone with messages being fired over and back both one to one and in group .always smiling or worse, bursts out laughing at nearly every message . What the hell is going on !we dont live together yet but maybe soon. She is also with a man and has children. Always on insta and Facebook etc having slagging matches . Aibu here . What do I do. I get a very blank..' we're friends, what's the problem?' He knows it upsets me .its getting more frequent

He might not be 'in love' with this OW but it certainly sounds like they have a connection. It's their connection and regularity of contact that makes you feel uncomfortable. Would your OH be happy if the tables were turned, I doubt it. Point this out to him and give him a choice. If this behaviour continues, and it still upsets you, maybe time to consider the longevity of your relationship?

I hope you are right that he isn't in love with her but the connection is definitely there . He may not be attracted to her I guess

It certainly sounds like there’s a connection between the two of them. Even though he’s above board with it, doing it in front of you, doesn’t make it acceptable.
I think you need to sit down and talk about it tbh. Ask him if it would be acceptable the other way around. I very much doubt it tbh. Depending on the outcome of this conversation, I would consider walking away with your head held high.

If it's making you feel uncomfortable then its not really on. I've had this type of connection before and it didn't necessarily stay above board. Thing is, you can't exactly ban him from being talking to her but if he's going about like a love struck teen then you'll need to tell him that its impacting you. Mind you, he might become secretive over it. I certainly would not want to be doing the pick me dance over any man.

I think they have a lot more contact than I've seen . The reason I think that is that they have contact on Facebook and ig and also he turns his phone off normally when we are together . If he leaves it on , he will start off the contact if he sees something funny or interesting on tv or if we are out for dinner and we have a nice meal, he'll send her photos of our days out . No photos of me though !

What do you mean by "having slagging matches"?

Ribbing eachother . Making fun of eachother but in a warm way

Am I panicking cling here? Overthinking?

You might be, I had similar with a guy I met on a course, we worked closely together for a good few months. I enjoyed our chats etc but I wasn’t inclined to jump ship.