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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be p**ed off at DH for taking DS out for a bike ride while i cook his tea?

18 replies

growingbagpuss · 22/07/2007 17:03

more to the point - he didn't blardy tell me he was going. He's been up and down the road twice now (DS is only 2.6 and learning to pedal). His tea is now stone cold.

I had told DH I was cooking tea, and DH sabotaged DS's lunch as well, by giving him sweets while they were out this morning (and not telling me, until after dS had refused his lunch)...GRRRRRRRR

OP posts:

floopowder · 22/07/2007 17:05

Yes, use the microwave to re heat it if ness, they are olnly young once and its a weekend.

heifer · 22/07/2007 17:08

he probably thought he was doing you a favour by taking DS out whilst you cook his tea...

If it if ready then can you not call them in?

Most mums on here complain that the DH don't do enough with their children, so I guess you could be glad...

stoppinattwo · 22/07/2007 17:09

oh at least he is doing something useful..............i understand your but it could be cold because he is in the pub!!!! now that deserves the plate over his head

stoppinattwo · 22/07/2007 17:09

Hi heifXX

Enid · 22/07/2007 17:12

see what I mean about this blardy topic

heifer · 22/07/2007 17:14

hi SA2... may speak to you later on MSN but cooking dinner now so got to go...

Original poster

growingbagpuss · 23/07/2007 09:28

Clearly i posted at a bad time....

Perhaps i should elaborate.....

I only realised they were gone when it went quiet, and by the time I waddled into the road (8.5 months pg) they were out of calling distance - and i am no fishwife.

DS is quite funny about eating - a delight in all other ways, but doesn't like hassle around food, and hates certain things - I'd don pasta with grated cheese on top. I couldn't reheat it, as the cheese would have totally melted and he wouldn't have eaten it at all.

DH has bee spoiling DS all w/e which IS lovely - but he laters all his routines, and generally upsets the system - and I have to pick up the pieces.

As it happened -DS ate all his tea fairly nicely, but then was so over tired (after DH sabotaged his lunch and nap) that he screamed through his bath and was besides himself... I left DH too it.

OP posts:

Enid · 23/07/2007 09:30

you are pg

when you have the baby you will HAVE to leave dh in charge more - get over it

Enid · 23/07/2007 09:31

and forget his 'routines'

much better he learns to adapt to other peoples ways of doing things or he is in for an almighty shock when baby is born!

wannaBe · 23/07/2007 09:39

as you're 8.5 mo pregnant it's possible your dh wants to spend this quality time with just your ds before the baby comes along. Once baby arrives things will change totally and your ds won't be able to have as much one-to-one time with either of you any more so I would let your dh/ds make the most of it.

I understand the frustration, but, tbh, if your ds has issues with food and mealtimes then it's a good thing that these are altered a bit as imo the more rigidly you stick to a certain type of routine, eg meals and mealtimes, the harder it will be to break the cycle when ds is older.

Just relax and try not to get too annoyed.

Original poster

growingbagpuss · 23/07/2007 09:44

I won't HAVE to leave DH in charge more - I won't be able to - becuase he would walk away from the extra responsibility. We are talking about a man who, when I was in hosp with ?ectopic/ appendicitis booked DS into nursery for an extra day......so he could go to WORK!

Routines are important for DS, he responds well to them , is settled, and content. He can cope with changes to them, but has had a lot to deal with recently, so keeping those we can in place means some sort of normality.

NEw LO will also have a degree of routines once we have settled down. DS's routines aren't THAT flippin' complex, but when they are skewed by adults he doesn't know what is expected of him.

OP posts:

wannaBe · 23/07/2007 10:00

I guess the question is - was your ds enjoying himself out on the bike? you say he ate his tea so there was no harm done really was there? Yes he was tired and cried at bathtime but we've all been there haven't we?

I do see where you're coming from re routines, really i do, some children thrive on them, but when the baby is born your ds' routine is going to go totally out of the window - really it is. There will be many more days when his tea is late because you're dealing with a screaming baby, when you won't be able to give him the attention he wants at the time because you're busy with the baby, being late for his tea because he was out on a bike with his dad is going to pale in comparison.

It sounds as if you're under a lot of stress at the moment - are you getting any time to yourself?

Enid · 23/07/2007 10:03

you sound overly controlling to me

but I hope you work it out with your dh and enjoy your new baby

EscapeFrom · 23/07/2007 10:05

I think bike rides at tea time are lovely. leave your dp to it with your ds, he will soon learn how much over tiredness he can handle from your ds!

YOur dsis 2.6, over tiredness and screaming are sometimes par of the course. He ate his tea anyway and I bet he had a really good time.

EscapeFrom · 23/07/2007 10:07

I don't think that one day of fun will impact too negatively on his routine. And it sounds like he had great fun.

Think back to this in 3 months - because you are not at a stage in your pregnancy that is known for being reasonable in relaxed

privacynomore · 23/07/2007 10:08

yabu

Kewcumber · 23/07/2007 10:12

I am a control freak.

Very controlling about DS's nap times in particular.

Went to Isle of Wight on Thursday for the weekend, grand plans for him to sleep in the car and saty in car (asleep) on the ferry. (ferry crossing 10.30pm).

Reality: DS dozed for an hour on the way down, woke up when we got to the ferry so we took him up to the cafe in his jim-jams where he engaged virtually the whole boat in a game of hide and seek.

His routine was completely up the spout all weekend, I was tired (and little stressed as a result), he had a whale of a time and slept like the dead last night.

I know how stressful it can be when you want them to stay in routine but you are probably more stressed about it than he is.

TinyGang · 23/07/2007 10:13

YABU.

I'm very happy if the dc are otherwise occupied whilst I'm cooking. They get under my feet.

When it's ready I go into Town Crier mode letting them know it's on the table. This means bellowing the momentous news from several vantage points around the house, garden and front of the house. I'm surprised the neighbours don't turn up too.

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