To ask what on earth is going on with my 6 year old?

[Jods1982]

Hi everyone,

My 6 year old is normally a pretty good sleeper goes to be about 7-7.30 waking around , but Last few nights she has been terrified of going to bed, bursting into tears screaming and not sleeping till 8.0-9.30.

We've eventually got her to sleep (normally with me or hubby lying in our bed with her till she drops off and then moving her to her own bed when we go to bed). When we ask her whats wrong she says worried about having bad dream and that they 'always get into her head'. We've had no incidences of her waking in the night, coming into our bed or screaming. She might get up in the night to use the loo but goes back to be straight away.

My main concern is that this has now made her tired in the day and and sleeping for an hour or so in the afternoon and she is going back to school tomorrow. Shes also disturbing her 2 year old sister (they share a bedroom) not upsetting her but she will follow her big sister downstairs.

She has told us that she is afraid of the dark and vampries and zombies, telling us that her best friends at school have been telling her about the. This has only started half way through half term and shes not seen them over this time. The only thing I can think of is that shes seen some zombie nursery rhyme/songs on youtube. Any advice from people who have had similar problems would be gratefully appreciated.

does she have a nightlight? that would solve the problem of the dark. I would sit down with her and explain that people make things up, like vampires and zombies, to scare people, but they aren't real and they can't hurt her. only the good characters are real like Santa and the tooth fairy, and they keep you safe at night. all the best x

Have you tried the spray bottle of 'anti monster spray'? Fill it with water (you can add some essential oil or something to it to make it seem special) and tell her to give it a squirt and it'll keep monsters or anything scary at bay! It might just give her a bit of control back or make her more comfortable about going to bed. You can do a spray around before bedtime.

Poor wee thing. Have you tried anything to make bedtime less frightening? If not things that spring to mind are:

Having a chat about what she’s scared of and saying that zombies, ghosts, monsters etc are not real and are only in books, tv progs and films etc. You really need to stress how not real they are but that you understand that reading about them or seeing pictures etc can make you scared.

Keep her room lit and if necessary the landing light on and her door as open as she feels comfortable with. You could get a cute nightlight for her room. Try relaxation before bedtime. Have you heard of ASMR - basically it’s just relaxing stuff that is calming and soothing. There’s someone called Whispers Red who does ASMR for children on YouTube. You could test it out and see what you think and if you think DD might find it distracting and soothing let her listen as she drops off to sleep.

Read books about night/dark. The Owl Who Was Afraid Of The Dark by Jill Tomlinson is reassuring and funny and might help DD realise it’s not just her who finds dark etc scary sometimes. If she can stay up late on a Fri or Sat night you could have a night walk and look and listen out for nighttime creatures like bats, owls, hedgehogs etc.

A lighthearted chat about things that she finds scary and reassuring her that it’s really normal for children to feel frightening at night if they’ve seen anything scary might help her feel less alone with her fears. Do everything you can to normalise what she is feeling and making bedtime feel as safe and calm as you can. It will pass but it’s horrible to see them so upset and scared.

We still use a nightlight and usually leave hall light on as well. I have told her tonight (she wrote down what was scaring her) and I told her that they were made up. Will definatley try the spray. Its just so odd that this seems to have come out of nowhere....

sleepismysuperpower, I didn't know Santa and the tooth fairy were real. I've obviously missed out somewhere!

My dd became frightened of owls. We made an owl protector with a weetabix box and lots of craft stuff, then did a sort of ritual and put it on her windowsill.

It really worked.

I’d read somewhere that fears come from the unconscious mind and are not rational, so you need to engage with it by using creativity and imagination.

Hope she’s sleeping soon

sleepismysuperpower, I didn't know Santa and the tooth fairy were real. I've obviously missed out somewhere!

it doesn't hurt them to believe in the 'good' characters

I’ve just checked Whispers Reds channel and she has a series called ASMR for sleepy children. If you just out whispers red children into you tube search they’ll come up.

Has she possibly watched a film that she shouldn't have maybe at a friend's house?

Something really small could have started it off. My son had a major handwashing problem and it was a dettol advert that started it! He is still particular now but at least his hands aren't in bits

With DS we put a cuddly dog toy in bed with him. But he was 4-5 then.

Anything like that or the spray could help her not think of the bad dreams when she goes to be. Even if she doesn't strictly believe them.

Hasn't watched anything at friends house (doesn't see much of friends outside of school). I know she gets up and goes on youtube in the morning through playstation (know shes seen some halloween cartoon party type thing)

Hang up a dream catcher to catch the bad dreams.

Don't give six year old unsupervised access to Youtube.

Also, how are you going to explain how the monster spray works if you have already told her they don't exist? You could cause more anxiety because then she won't know what to believe.

Let her fall asleep in your bed for a while. She'll probably get over it quite quickly.

Probably is YouTube videos that have scared her, maybe just monitor exactly what shes watching.

My friends daughter went through a phase of going from a really good sleeper to being terrified of sleeping and they eventually figured out it was the Disney film Coco that had scared her - she'd been watching it on a loop during the day for a week. The first day that they stopped her from watching it she started sleeping normally again.

My dd had similar a while ago. I reorganised her bedroom - moved the furniture around and got her some new bedding. She was delighted with her “new room” and she started sleeping fine again. A bit of a change might help?

No experience with my own child but I did this when I was a child and the thing my mom did that worked was made me do a drawing of all the things I was scared of (obviously with lots of pomp and circumstance) and then ceremoniously ripping it up. I was about that age and it truly helped me

Is she worried about going back to school after half term?

Giving her unsupervised access to YouTube is my guess. Sounds like the Peppa pig Halloween show, it is scary and violent. You should look into Elsa-gate and decide if unsupervised access is such a good idea.