To think I can manage uni and a baby?

[mentalbacon]

I'm applying to start uni in September as a mature student. However, husband and I are now considering baby number 3. We already have two, school aged children.

Is it unreasonable to think that I would manage if I were to fall/be pregnant in year one? Our other children are at an age where we wouldn't really want to wait much longer as I think the gap would be getting a bit too big. I also don't really want to delay with uni as I'm getting on a bit and am keen to move forward with a change in career.

I've been a sole trader for the entire of my children's lives so am used to working from home with babies, returning to actual out and about work once or twice per week by the time they were 11 and 7 weeks old (the bulk of the work was from home though!).

Anyone experienced uni throughout pregnancy/newborn/toddler stages and lived to tell the tale?

I know some people who've been allowed to take newborns to uni with them.

Surely it very much depends on the course, contact time and work load?

I had 2 friends go through uni with a baby, and they did well, however they didn't have school aged children as well.

It will be hard, and I think if it happened then you would manage but I would be concerned about whether you would have enough time to look after your DC, a baby and do uni work. Obviously your DH will also be doing a lot but it's still an awful lot to do

I did, I was a young one in my year and left school at 16.5, fell pregnant at the start of first year and had DS when I was 17 between the summers of first and second year. I had 6 weeks off and then started in September for second year - I did have the option to defer but feared not being comfortable enough to return.
I hand on heart would not have managed without my parents. They helped with childcare (my classes meant that full day childcare was a waste of time but half day might not suit as it could be 11-1 and run over both sessions).
I also managed to use SAAS bursaries, child tax credits and a part time job to help us survive. I was not entitled to income support etc as I was at university.

I stayed up until the wee hours at times, making sure everything was done or to revise during exam time. I had to put my work on hold until the evening to spend time with DS when I wasn't working or in class. I made sure everything was meticulously planned as deadlines could approach fast when you had a teething/ill baby or one who refused to sleep.
I was shattered constantly trying to juggle so many balls. I didn't get the grade I was predicted (or expected) because I had other commitments. But I made it. And I'd do it again.
My course also had no placement's and our full time timetable was around 15 hours of contact in second year, dropping down to 9 come dissertation time.

With the right support, emotional and practical, and the right mindset it can be done.

I was not allowed to take DS to uni with me.

And a side note you may not be applicable for any financial help as it depends on your husband's income. I received bursaries as I was a single parent under 25 (so no spousal income but also independent from parents as I was a parent).

It is hard but rewarding. Lecturers are incredibly understanding, as are a lot of the students. My daughter used to attend my group project meetings at 10 months old. She also came to a lecture or two, and one lecturer deliberately changed one of the coursework topics as the one he intended to use, I had missed due to my daughter having a chest infection. They were all fantastic and wanted me to succeed.

It was so so hard, writing and testing a dissertation, and I had really flexible childcare which was essential really. I am incredibly proud I did it, but probably wouldn’t do it again as I’m not quite sure how I survived nights in the library til midnight, and getting up at 5.30/6 the next day to do it all again. As a side note my contact time was quite high, and a heavily involved course.

I did university course alongside full time work whilst pregnant. Honestly, I struggled majorly. If I’d not been in the final few months I would have honestly requested to pause my studies. I did have sever sickness though and only a few good hours a day that I could concentrate in. Every evening was spent lying on the bathroom floor rather than researching and writing essays. If my employer (who sponsored the degree) hadn’t allowed me a few days during the final deadlines then I’d have dropped my grades so much. And even now 6 months post I’d struggle to pick it back up as my baby is a non-napping sleep thief.

I dont have a great support system post baby but did during pregnancy and I had a study buddy who helped me stay focused. If you are in a position with lots of good support then it will be hard but enjoyable. Just check how many hours some of the modules will demand, I was shocked at having to find 100 hours in 8 weeks on top of work. But i also started whilst TTC so I hope I don’t put you off, just want to offer my experience.

Yes, it can be done. You will need to be super organised, keep your fingers crossed that you don't have any health hiccups to derail you and not too proud to ask for all the support you can. Go for it!

My husband is at university while we have two kids. He started when they were 6m and 18m. We are planning our third for before he finishes.

We both work part time and have no child care and he studies full time. We're broke but the only reason he can manage it is because I do the lions share around the house and with the boys

What's the course OP, makes a huge difference... Midwifery, you'll need a year off, politics probably not... It's possible with good support from DH (he'll have to loan parent evenings and weekends so you can study).

I completed my 1st year at uni while pregnant with DD I was also a mature student, 36 years old. She was born just after my final assessment was completed, but we planned it that way.

I have just (3 days ago) completed 2nd year, DD is almost 1 years old and I am about to give birth to another DD in a few weeks (again birth planned to fall during summer break).

I start back at uni in October with a 1 year old and a new baby. This should be fun

I did (had youngest in my first year). It really affected my work. I would have easily managed a first without the kids. With the children I was just scraping a 2:1. My degree was also very low contact which made it easier. If it involved lab work or something I don’t think I could have managed.

I had a baby in my first year of uni - I carried on and completed in 3 years (with a first!) BUT I absolutely couldn't have done it without my parents providing childcare. Do you have that, or can you afford to pay for nursery?

It seems possible "in advance" I suspect.

But in reality your baby will need you, at least for the first couple of years, and bonding really kicks in after a couple of months after the birth (my experience anyway).

On a personal note, I applied, was accepted, thought I could do it (there was a nursery). But when it came to it, I couldn't put my baby in a creche/nursery. I've never regretted it.

Also, I think its just too much - for you, your family, and the baby. I know its an unpopular thing to say. But unless you are completely one of those superwomen, with literally tonnes of "support" i.e. a full-time nanny you will be shattered, grumpy and over-stretched.

It sounds like too much, unless your H will be doing most of the parenting and domestic work.

Oh and I took time off afterwards/definitely wasn’t allowed to bring the baby.

I managed the first year of uni on three days a week in the on-campus nursery.

Nursery fees cost exactly the same as I had coming in from my student loan at the time, much to the amazement of my classmates.

It’s doable, but definitely not ideal. I used to run to the nursery to BF at lunchtime.

I also think it depends. I don't think you could take a baby to lectures (if you have a sleepy newborn it might be fine but no way when they go mobile and louder). What is the childcare situation for the older kids? I know I wouldn't have had time to complete assignments while picking kids up from school at 3 and making dinner, doing reading etc in the evenings but if you're doing it part time that bit might be manageable.

Thanks for all of your comments. My husband is self employed so hours can he flexible if required. I will no longer be working so just have uni to focus on. Plan would he for baby to make an appearance for year two when contact hours drop to two days.

Have already applied for financial support and based on figures, should get plenty enough to help us along (else there's no way we could do it regardless).

We've not 100% decided on whether to add a third yet and don't want to delay a uni start on a "what if". But want to be fully prepared and know whether it's do-able in case it does happen!

Very difficult - don't know why we had to throw a spanner in really!!!

Maybe we'll decide that uni was just too pie in the sky 🤷😪

You've already had two babies so I think you'll know yourself if you can deal with it. The fact that you were working when they were 7 / 11 weeks old suggests that you are able to juggle things well.

Good luck 😊

As for the older kids, we can use breakfast/after-school club where necessary so if no baby involved, I'm very confident in ability to manage/juggle everything.