But not all of them. Anybody fancy reading the first mention of a dildo in English?
The Maids Complaint
For want of a Dil doul,
This Girl long time had in a sickness been,
Which many maids do call the sickness green:
I wish she may some comfort find poor Soul
And have her belly fill'd with a Dil doul .
Young men give ear to me a while
if you to merriment are inclin'd,
And i'le tell you a story shall make you to smile
of late done by a woman kind:
And as she went musing all alone
I heard her to sigh, to sob and make moan
F or a dill doul, dil doul, dil doul doul,
(quoth she) I'm undone if I hant a dil doul
For I am a Maid and a very good Maid,
and sixteen years of age am I,
And fain would I part with my Maiden-head
if any good fellow would with me lye:
But none to me ever yet proffer'd such love,
as to lye by my side and give me a shove
With his dil doul, dill doul, dil doul,
O happy were I, etc.
At night when I do go to bed
thinking for to take my rest,
Strange fancies comes in my head
I pray for that which I love best:
For it is a comfort and pleasure doth bring
to women that hath such a pritty fine thing,
Call'd a dill doul, dill doul dill doul doul,
then happy were I, etc.
Last week I walked in the Strand,
I met with my Sister a handsome Lass,
I kindly took her by the hand,
this question of her I did ask;
Whether she kept still a Maiden alone,
or whether her maiden-head was fled or gone
For a dill doul, dill doul, dill doul doul,
O happy were, etc.
Kind sister, quoth she to tell you the truth,
it has been gone this twelve months day
I freely gave it to a handsome youth,
that us'd with me to sport and play:
To grieve for the loss of it I never shall
if I had ten thousand I would give um all
For a dill doul dill doul, dil doul doul,
O my, etc.
She making this answer I bid her adieu
and told her I could no longer stay,
I let go her hand and I straight left the Strand
and to Covent-Garden I hasted away:
Where lively young gallants do use to resort,
to pick up young lasses & shew 'um fine sport
WIth a dil doul, dil doul, dil doul doul,
yet none, etc.
I would id'e a sweet heart as some Maids have
that little know how do pleasure a man,
I'de keep him frolicksome, gallant and brave
and make as much on him as any one can:
Before any good thing he should lack,
i'le sell all my Coats & Smock from my back
For his dil doul, dil doul, dill doul doul,
then happy were, etc.
Thus youngmen have I declared in brief,
the causes of my sorrow and woe,
And if any of you will yield me relief;
speak chearfully to me say, yea or no:
I live at the sign of the Cup and the Can,
and I will be loving to any young man
For his dil doul, dil doul, dill doul doul,
and all my, etc.
Besides young men I have store of money,
good red Gold and Silver bright,
And he shall be Master of every peny,
that marries with me and yields me delight
For why tother night I heard my dame Nancy
declare how her Master did tickle her fancy
With his dill doul dill doul dill doul doul,
then what e're it cost me i'le have a dil doul
Then come to me my bonny Lad,
while I am in the prime I pray
And take a good bargin while it is to be had,
and to not linger your time away
'Tis money you see makes many a man rich:
then come along, rub on the place that doth itch
For a dill doul, dil doul, dil doul doul
take all my money, give me a dill doul.