To think women get judged for having a baby at "age" regardless of what that age is?

[BinkyBaa]

It seems to be everywhere, mums in their early twenties being looked down on for being too young, mums in their thirties and forties being judged for leaving it 'late'.

Just this week I've seen a thread on here of a woman in her late twenties being judged for not having a child yet, and a thread on reddit calling anyone under 30 too immature.

Aibu to think society expects women to prove themselves worthy of babies and no age is ever the right one?

Yanbu a woman's place is in the wrong

I have had a dc in my teens, 20's, 30's and 40's. Some people just feel entitled to comment . Mouth open + foot iusually.
Can't say I took any notice tbh.

YANBU. Of course women can never be right, they have vaginas!

I quite agree.
20s. Aren’t you a bit young?
30s what about your career?
40s aren’t you a bit old?

It struck me that women were meant to suddenly have 8 year olds when they were about 35 but and no point have babies.

Nope , you won't win whatever age you are. I was 24 when I had DD and the midwife said 'oh you're just a baby' my sister in law was 42 and she was 'too old' according to some people. My 30 year old friends have 'plenty of time' to have kids ....

I think women are judged for everything that they do or don’t do.

And another stick to beat women with. Its so much "fun" to spot those sticks in society. The streets are littered with them.
Just had Jonny Depp (cant stand him) in a magazine doing a perfume ad. How many actresses his age are there who are still that celebrated? F*cks me off.

It struck me that women were meant to suddenly have 8 year olds when they were about 35 but and no point have babies

Yes. People don’t want the inconvenience of mothers taking maternity leave, or taking time out of work to raise children, or going part time to facilitate school pick ups/drop offs, or parents having to take time off for sick children etc. Whatever age they are. Mothers and young children are an inconvenience to society!

The safest (as in least judgment) perameters seem to be between maybe 28-34? Even so, judgement, judgement everywhere.

Women can't win basically. As far as I'm concerned have kids when it's right for you but I object to state funds (through nhs) being used for assisted conception to a certain extent (except specific medical reasons like cancer or menopause before the age of 35 etc). Around 30 I think is the perfect balance for many but you need to meet a father for those theoretical kids of course

Sorry for being off topic in my other post.
Its really strange how keeping the human species going is used against us, all the time. Never understood why. We should be celebrated as goddesses for giving life!

The safest (as in least judgment) perameters seem to be between maybe 28-34?

I’ve done well then... first at 29 and third at 34! I’m a feckless stay at home mum though who is basically a prostitute as I rely on my husband for money in return for sex (yes someone on here told me that!), so still plenty of room for judgement.

but I object to state funds (through nhs) being used for assisted conception to a certain extent

Do you object to state funds being used to treat self inflicted lifestyle diseases too?

Do you factor in that the people having kids later in life have on average probably contributed more (and drawn down less) to/from state funds and GDP by the time they have kids.

@SoyDora

Oh no, surely you provide him with cleaning, cooking, childcare, pa duties etc - as well as the sex.

Moralitym1n1 no, even worse than that. I’m a SAHM and I make him do the cooking! (I don’t, he enjoys it and chooses to do it, but apparently that’s also unreasonable as if he’s keeping me, I should do absolutely everything else)

Women get judged for what age they have their children, for having no children, for having seven, for having an only, for only having one gender. For working, for not working. For terminating, for not terminating.

I recently found out that DDs friends mums think I was a teen mum, which is why she gets excluded from parties etc. I’m 7 years older than four of them and have never thought anything about them other than what lovely children they have.

*3 years older than them, was thinking about the children’s age

You could’ve just stopped your thread title after the fifth word!

When the baby is here there’s even more to judge them about.

Breastfeeding in public - what a tart.
Bottle feeding - doesn’t care about what’s best for her baby.

Co sleeping - stupid.
Baby in a crib - how can she leave the baby alone.

Go to the baby when it cries - spoiling the baby/making a rod for her own back.
Leave the baby to cry - what a monster.

Basically, just do what the fuck you want when you want cos you’ll be judged anyway, you might as well be judged and happy.

I agree and it's ridiculous.

When I was in my early 20/late teens someone asked me why I hadn't had children yet. I said that I hadn't met the right person and wasn't ready and she said "oh that's a shame. You'll be an older mom then"
DD came when I was 24 but she still thought that was old.
Madness.

I agree - most of the time I’ve found it’s projection from other women. Those who had children at a younger age will comment I left it late (I was only 29 when I got pregnant with my twins!) those who had children later said I should focus on my career etc. I just shrug it off but, as with all things to do with motherhood, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t!