I’m pregnant and so a lot more snappy than usual.
My in laws, are self made wealthy people. They believe they’re on top of the world.
They’re constantly constantly sneering at friends and relatives. Every conversation and visit I have with them or phone conversation, they’re talking amongst themselves being entertained by mocking someone close to them.
When I say close... I mean someone that thinks they dearly love them.. I find them very very two faced... however, they think this is a normal way of joking.
When I married DH, they were constantly mocking my relatives in front of me and behind my back with DH, as a “joke”. One of my aunt’s is on benefits, they made many comments about how she lives in a nice looking housing association and how it’s coming off their taxes.. constantly asking nosey questions about private financial situation which I obviously don’t share... however DH sees it as harmless joking because “they love your family” and continuously is transparent with his family about anything I share with him. I’ve told him about my aunts financial situation once as his families mocking made him believe she was taking advantage of the system and I was naive and instead of nipping it in then bud I told him her story and how she needed the help.
When it was time to vote brexit or remain.. they voted brexit even though they don’t live in the UK, because apparently they don’t like how their taxes are going to poor people who are “milking the government”. I introduced them to a family friend and behind closed doors they joked about how “he came to the UK and married his wife so he can live in council house and take our taxes”. Btw they only pay taxes on their house... their income isn’t declared.
Their house is an ex council which they bought....
I’ve spoken to my DH about it several times.. he thinks I’m being over the top. And that this is harmless banter.
Yesterday, I found out that his mother who works abroad and has a very high salary has not declared her income in the UK. Has been taking some benefits over the years. Not all benefits but things like grants for their kids education and so on.
I don’t usually consider it my business but I’m shocked and disgusted.. because out of all the people they mocked, they are a genuine case of someone who don’t need help at all.
Moreso.. I’ve been the subject of their sneering before and it knocked down my confidence for years.. I’m not from a wealthy background and they used to treat me like I owe them my life for being accepted - DH excluded.
When we say at the dinner table yesterday, they started sneering at a man who gave them a gift. He sees them weekly.. he trusts them with his life. He considers them family. Does sooo many favours for them..
He gave them a small gift and they started mocking his lifestyle.. how the gift isn’t adequate for them. This isn’t the first time they mock this man.. and he has been more than respectable to them. Doting with love
DH joined in.. so I got sick of it...
I raised my voice and I said “this man sees you as his close friends, he doesn’t realise that you are judging him this way. It’s good enough he wants to share with you something he liked. You would’ve done the same”.
And during the conversation my DH was having with his DM where I overheard that she said that she doesn’t declare Her income and her daughter wasn’t applying for a government help scheme- I texted him and said “ I hope you aren’t condoning fraud because I will report all of you”
Then we went back home, I lost my wits and told him how his family are wealthy but the way they think about money and other people make them seem like the most classless people I know in my life.. he was defending them and so I kept arguing telling him how I think they’re nothing more than money hungry people and value relationships based on money and that makes them very poor in their soul.
I admit I got very rude.. but that’s because over the years they used to joke between themselves that I come from wreck. “As a joke”.
DH is insulted. I feel great. AIBU?