to worry about court?

[carlasarmy]

I am due in court next week re non molestation order which will be served ex parte on my ex in a couple of days.

I'm extremely nervous. Don't know what to wear. Can't forget about the way I was told they would likely discriminate internally against me (by a family member who I will add is extremely paranoid!) because I'm black with dreadlocks and my ex is white (I know, ridiculous thing to tell someone but it's something I've not stopped thinking about!). Worried the judge won't like me. Will rescind the order. Etc etc.

Terrified of seeing my ex again! Desperately don't want to.

Can anyone advise or offer words of wisdom?

Op do you have any legal representation? If not it might be worth to speak to cab about your concerns? Court can be nerve wracking in a lot of circumstances, especially if you’ve not been before, it’s worrying to think the judge may not like you or you might do something incorrect. But there are guidelines the judges must follow, so their personal feelings can’t influence their decision. You’ll be treated with respect and they’ll be empathetic that you’ll likely be nervous. Regarding what to wear I’ve always gone with suit jacket & trousers & a blouse/ turtleneck.

Hi - sorry to hear that things are bad enough with your ex/he's made you feel unsafe enough that you're pursuing a non-mol.
What to wear: whatever you want. Most people try and look smart(ish) for court because it is a professional place, but there is no dress code. Wear whatever is going to make you feel most comfortable.
The concern about race: I can't pretend that the court system/an individual judge is absolutely guaranteed to be free of racial bias, but in my experience, the court are only going to be concerned with what has happened and how to keep the parties safe. They tend to err on the side of caution in the granting of non-mols, too (although most are settled by undertakings - less likely if there's been serious violence.)
Please do say if there's anything else you need to know, keep calm, you'll be ok xx

Hi! I am really sorry you have to go through this!
I went to court 2 year ago after my ex was locked up regards fo his behaviour towards me.
From experience, dress smart- but comfortable! Make a bit extra effort to feel good, your confidence will show through! Take a friend/family member for support! Sometimes there is a lot of waiting about so having extra support and reassurance is very helpful! And dont worry about what others will think- especially the judge.
I promise you, the court work in every way possible to make you feel safe. You will come out feeling stronger then ever

Good luck and lots of hugs xxxxxx

I had to face my ex many times in court (for non mol and many other orders). It is terrifying having to see them again, I know. I used to get diazepam 2mg prescribed for court days as it helped to keep me calm while I was so scared. Clothing wise, look as smart and business like as you can. Good luck.