About these divorce proceedings

[atr79gb]

I'm in the process of separating and divorcing from my wife.

I currently provide everything for her financially. We have 2 children aged 5 and 8 and the family home has around £200K equity in it.

Since the split, she has been perfectly capable of working but has chosen not to.

-I've suggested a 50/50 custody split. I'm fortunate enough to have a flexible working schedule and would be able to commit this. Her view is that she wants to be the primary carer - there isn't a valid reason for this to be the case other than the fact that this is what she wants. It's worth noting that we currently both have an active role in their lives and I believe a 50/50 split would be in the children's best interests.

-She wants to stay in the current property until the kids are 18. This would mean that I would be locked into a mortgage for a place I'm not living in for the next 13 years. This would make it very difficult for me to buy my own property. It seems very disadvantageous to have equity tied up for the next 14 years AND to continue to have the mortgage in my name.

I'm going to see a mediator next week who I'm expecting to give her much more reasonable expectations of her obligations.

But it does feel as if she's trying to take me for a ride. Am I being unreasonable?

OP I think some posters are being unfair to you. There is no reason why you should be expected to pay for them to stay in the house and for your own accommodation suitable for your children to live with you. That would be financially crippling and you will be unable to afford anywhere nice for them to stay with you. That really is not fair on you and your relationship with the children - which matters equally to hers. It is not best for the children to have a crap time with their Dad at his place. I really think its sexist to imagine thats fair or best for the children. And I say that as a divorced mother.

Even swapping at alternate weekends and one night a week is an unpheaval and the kids stop by 16 of their own accord because of it. Its no different if its 50:50.

Do not expect the mediator to be fair to you - they will simply try to close the gap between your different positions. You must must must get legal advice first.