Ex constantly making comments to find out if DP has met DC

[ooop]

Relationship with ex was always pretty sour - he was aggressive (which was always acceptable to him as he was never violent and couldn't see the fault in his actions), he was controlling and possessive.

We split and I met someone else. He wasn't happy and he made that very clear through his aggression.

Now, there's been more comments than I can count about DC meeting new DP. Asking multiple times if they'd met, telling me I'd be irresponsible to let them meet, saying I'd be a bad mum, now over the past few days making comments about DC's behaviour and making clear passive aggressive comments basically insinuating that it better not be down to them meeting.

To clarify, it's been a few months now and they haven't properly met. But I feel completely suffocated by the constant questions or comments about me being irresponsible or insinuating that I'm having bad effects on DC and just generally constantly poking at this situation, I feel like even when I feel like I am and DC is ready to meet, I'm not going to even feel comfortable to because he's involving himself so much, makes so many comments and gets so aggressive.

I've got no idea what to even reply to this insinuation that DC's behaviour is because of that.

I would ignore him completely and just live your life. Is he texting you, calling, or is the abuse in person?

@Aquamarine1029 bit of all of them! Tend to avoid phonecalls but there's been a message on a handful of occasions and a few comments in person when I go to collect DC.

Has he told you his exact problem with the two of them meeting? What is he afraid of? Is your dc very young or does he think you will leave your dc with your dp alone? Does he feel like he is being replaced?

Sounds like insecurities that could be better managed in other ways to get him to leave you alone about the whole thing

It is your life.
You made the decision to stop taking his controlling behaviour when you left, find the strenght to stop him controlling you from outside the relationship.
Tell him ti mind his own business, if he was an ex asking in concern, I'd invite them to meet DP too, but he is not.
For now on only discuss the DC.

@Mummoomoocow I can't exactly explain what he's worried about but it's more out of him being replaced than any concern for DC. I think it's just the final straw of me seriously moving on that he's not accepting and has a natural hatred and anger towards new DP anyway.

@EmeraldShamrock I've tried to explain that if there was a level of respect from him and I could trust him then we'd have a reasonable relationship where we could discuss new partners and everything like that, but as it stands when I don't feel comfortable sharing that stuff with him because of his nature, I don't think I can have that respect for him.

Sooner or later he'll meet someone else himself and then your DP will become a non-issue (he'll probably introduce new woman to the DC within about half an hour and then not tell you he's done so - he sounds like that type of bloke). Just do what you can to not let it wind you up in the meantime.

@Hassled yes, that sounds about right!

making comments about DC's behaviour and making clear passive aggressive comments basically insinuating that it better not be down to them meeting. or what exactly?

@Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis or I'd be dealing with more aggression and constant comments about how I'd caused that negative effect on DC by being irresponsible etc etc etc (I presume!).

he sounds horrible, well done for seeing the light. Carry on he will have to deal with his own upset.

I’d tell him DC is always perfect with me, so any bad behaviour around you is likely due to something you’re doing. Have a look in your own back yard and leave me out of it!

Stay strong OP. Tell him if he continues to interrogate you, you will only discuss the DC with him.
I get the feeling the more you put it with, then more he'll push.