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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go out this afternoon?

16 replies

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 01/06/2019 15:10

It’s been half term. I work term time only, or have done since October so still relatively new setup for us. This week I have had to spend two days at home waiting for workmen to turn up both of which failed to turn up!
Yesterday I took dd (13) to London with my mum. We parked at Westfield and took the tube to Tower of London and Covent Garden. We didn’t get home until 9.30pm. Dh was in a mood as he didn’t know we would be that late. I had been messaging him throughout the day letting him know where we were and what the plans were. Asking him about his day, did he want anything etc.
I had got home and he hadn’t eaten as he would wait for me. I had said several times that we were eating out and I would bring him something on or he could go ahead and cook.
Today it’s one of my closest friends birthdays. We are both lightweights and decided to go for something to eat and a couple of cocktails but mak it early. So I’m meeting her in town at 4.
This has been discussed many times, but just as I’m leaving to catch the bus now he starts calling me selfish and doesn’t know why I’m married. That I’ve left him with the kids again. Dd is 13 and in her room, ds2 is 17 and at work until 11pm and ds1 no longer lives at home.

Am I being unreasonable for going out? It’s not like he actually has to do anything for dd. I haven’t left him with a baby or toddler and a big list of instructions.
I’m now stood at the bus stop furiously tapping this out and trying to calm down and not let it spoil my evening and friends birthday. I’ll be home by 9.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 01/06/2019 15:12

Go and have fun! Don’t rush back either.

He is being a baby sulking and for no reason.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 01/06/2019 15:12

Of course YANBU. Enjoy yourself with your friend

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 01/06/2019 15:12

Thanks Sirzy. Shall I stick with your answer and not check back at all. Blush

OP posts:
AgentCooper · 01/06/2019 15:14

YANBU. Go go go. And have a lovely time.

blushmelikeyou · 01/06/2019 15:15

Go out and have the best time. Don't contact your husband at all whilst your out. Let him sulk pathetic man he is.

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 01/06/2019 15:15

Thank you. Smile

OP posts:
forevercurious · 01/06/2019 15:15

I’d go and wouldn’t bother rushing home. To me it sounds like he’s trying to ruin your plans which is rather selfish.

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 01/06/2019 15:21

Forever. I have to admit that is how it feels right now.
I’m on the bus and calming down. I didn’t shout or react I just said I’ll see you later and left.
I have brought my keys though as even though he never has before I just had that feeling that he wouldn’t wait up and might deliberately go to bed early.

He’s quite anti social as he’s got older (51) whereas I’ve eatablished a group of good friends of mixed ages and we have a really good time together. I don’t go out lots. Last time I went out was a month ago and that was with him and another couple.

Anyway. Thank you all for replying I will make sure I have an extra cocktail just to make it worth it all.

OP posts:
TaytosNTizer · 01/06/2019 15:21

Of course you should go out and have a lovely evening with your friend! You’ve done nothing wrong and your husband is being a complete twit.

cheeseislife8 · 01/06/2019 15:26

Definitely go! He is BU and very selfish. Have an extra 🍸 to make the point!

StreetwiseHercules · 01/06/2019 15:32

I have never understood this neediness in some men.

UserName31456789 · 01/06/2019 15:36

I wouldn't be rushing home to that grumpy old sod! Go and have fun!

forevercurious · 01/06/2019 17:46

I hope you have a lovely afternoon / evening with your friend. Do not let him spoil your fun. It’s okay to have different social preferences but he shouldn’t be guilt tripping you to stay home / stay in with him.

You deserve to go out when you want too!

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 01/06/2019 20:46

Home! Had a fab evening with lovely friends and didn’t think about him once.
Came home to him asking if I’d had a nice evening and nice food?? I just said yes thank you. I’m not going to make an issue of it.
He didn’t ruin my evening and you lovely ladies helped me calm down and to forget it by thr time I got into town.
Thanks.

OP posts:
forevercurious · 02/06/2019 08:24

So glad you didn’t let him spoil your time and it wasn’t made into a big drama when you got home! :)

Shoxfordian · 02/06/2019 08:31

Glad you had fun, don't let his moodiness stop you doing your own thing

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