To change to my GFs surname?

[SurnameChangeDecision]

I currently have ExHs surname. I don’t want to go back to my maiden name as it’s my “fathers” name and he was barely that to me (left my mum when I was a young teen and had nothing to do with me or my sibling since).

Reasons to change are:

• I quite like the thought of having the same name as my mum (who switched back to her maiden name on divorce) and the man who is the next best thing to a dad to me
• It would annoy my paternal relatives as they think that no matter what until marriage you keep your fathers surname and on divorce resort back to fathers surname
• My GF would finally have GC with his surname which he’s never had as he had daughters and all gave their children the fathers name – my sibling has just sent off a deedpoll to change their surname to our GFs.
• I don’t like my maiden name or current surname

Reasons not to change are:

• I currently have the same surname as my young DC and ExH would never agree to their name being changed or even double barrelled (court order strictly forbids the change of the DCs surname for either common use (i.e. at school) or legally without the prior consent of both parents and like I said ExH would never agree to change it or double barrel it)
• It’s quite a common name surname so wouldn’t necessarily link me to ExH and his family
• My GF is in his 80s, so may only see me use the name for a year or so
• It would be my 3rd surname and I’m quite a few years off turning 30 – not sure if so many names in a short space of time might cause problems

There are no reasons really I can go back to my maiden name as although it’s a common name it stills feels like I’m connected to my paternal family and I don’t want that. I am currently single and did consider changing my name to my GFs surname before I married and just keeping it on marriage so this isn’t a whim thing and if I do ever meet anyone and get married again I would want to keep the surname I decide to take/keep on divorce.

WWYD?

p.s. when my "father" left my gps before my GM died helped my mum with childcare, I have many a memory of holidays with them, my sibling and a cousin, they also gave me pocket money, taught me basic skills like cooking and budgetting. I love my GF as I loved my GM

I think it's lovely to honour your gf in this way, even if he only has that happiness for a short time .

I came on this thread thinking GF was going to stand for girlfriend! I don't know about the ramifications of changing your name so it's different to your children, I'm sure someone will be on here to give advice on that, but if you're thinking of doing it then don't change to your maiden name if you don't want to! If you change your name then it will be different to the kids anyway, so you may as well change it to the surname that means a lot to you and you actually want!

I am changing to my nanas surname.

Lots of reasons, similar to yours.

Mum also fucked up and gave me my middle name after her. Except mum thought my nanas name was an abrehevation and her legal name was the long version. For example my name was known as cathy, mum though her legal name was Catherine. So gave me that as my middle name. (Not real name). Christ knows how my mum didnt know her own mums actual name.

So I will be changing my middle name to my nanas actual name at the same time.

Do it!
Or add it to your current surname so that you share half a name with your kids.

In a world where sincerity, integrity and empathy are constantly being downtrodden I applaud your warm-heartedness.

My friend has done the same. When she got married recently both her and her new dh changed their surname to that of his grandparents to honour them. His grandfather was very emotional about it as he didn’t have any gc with his surname as only had daughters himself.

I'm thinking of changing my name to my GM maiden name when I get divorced. Don't want to keep my ex's surname and my maiden name was quite boring. Love my GM's family name and my eldest DD (adult) wants to change hers too (youngest would need ex's consent which he'd never give).