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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that cards and giftware for men are almost always shite?

22 replies

GraceMarks · 31/05/2019 15:13

I had to go out today and buy cards for my brother's birthday and Fathers Day, whuch fall within a few days of each other, and I was struck, as I always am, by how rubbish most of the cards aimed at men are. They will always feature one or more of:

Sports paraphernalia
Wellies/fishing rods
Beer (or occasionally wine)
A reference to sheds
Blue and grey colour scheme
"Manly" font that looks like riveted metal

It's almost insulting to men, as if all they're interested in is sport and drinking. My brother is into drawing and writing, and my dad likes art and history. They do drink beer but it's such an integral part of their lives that I'd want to give them a card with it on, especially if the word "bloke" is also on there.

"Giftware" for men is shit too, all socks and cufflinks and hip flasks and those pointlessly elaborate penknives for men who harbour Bear Grylls fantasies, I suppose.

Anyway, I just bought blank, non-specific cards with nice pictures on, but why do the manufacturers of these things think men need to only have stereotypical bloke stuff on their greetings cards?

OP posts:

Original poster

GraceMarks · 31/05/2019 15:14

Gah... beer is NOT such an integral part of their lives...

OP posts:

shumway · 31/05/2019 15:18

The ones for mums and sisters etc tend to be nauseatingly pink as well.

Singletomingle · 31/05/2019 15:19

In terms of whats available in gift shops and supermarkets its no worse than for anyone else. Its not overly difficult to find something elsewhere though that is very nice if you know the person you're buying for. Always treat my dad to some fancy gardening items since he got his allotment.

SimulationTheorist · 31/05/2019 15:20

I agree. I tend to use Etsy now for cards, as many can be personalised with the relative.

Etino · 31/05/2019 15:22

If they like drawing and art surely it's easy? Unless you're looking for specifically Dear Brother or Father's Day ones.

Original poster

GraceMarks · 31/05/2019 15:22

Single yes, I know, I was just having a whinge about cards. Not so much presents, as I wouldn't buy "giftware" anyway.

OP posts:

StillCoughingandLaughing · 31/05/2019 15:23

My favourite is the skincare sets ‘specially formulated to suit the needs of a man’s skin’.

In other words, ‘Exactly the same shite we flog to women, only in black or silver packaging’.

Original poster

GraceMarks · 31/05/2019 15:25

Etino it would be nice to be able to find a Father's Day card that was specifically for Father's Day that didn't have the usual crap on it, though. Yes, obviously I can buy a generic one (which is what I did, if you read my OP), but I was just wondering how the choice ended up being so narrow!

OP posts:

TheRLodger · 31/05/2019 15:26

Yanbu! although I also hate the soppy Mother’s Day and birthday cards for dm too. Just want Happy Mothers Day/ Birthday and a bunch of flowers on the front not some sickly poem

Singletomingle · 31/05/2019 15:26

I may be in the minority as a man but except for cards off my DC in which its what they put in that counts I really dont care for cards. If its a nice message tell me in person it'll mean a lot more and otherwise just make sure the gift is something thoughtful I'll keep that and remember it far longer than any card!

thecatsthecats · 31/05/2019 15:27

Giftware is mostly manky tat full stop.

This is why I've drilled my husband into coming Christmas shopping with me well before the shops fill with tat. If all you can think to buy someone as a gift comes from a giftware shop, you either a) don't know them well or closely enough to need to get them a gift or b) know they have horrible taste.

sirfredfredgeorge · 31/05/2019 15:30

It's 'cos the only people who like receiving any of that tat, actually like receiving that tat. Most people have no interest in either things.

ShartGoblin · 31/05/2019 16:05

I agree. I tend to use Etsy now for cards, as many can be personalised with the relative

I second this, Etsy is fantastic for cards with so much more choice. I rarely buy cards anywhere else these days.

SerenDippitty · 31/05/2019 16:08

Sports paraphernalia
Wellies/fishing rods
Beer (or occasionally wine)
A reference to sheds
Blue and grey colour scheme
"Manly" font that looks like riveted metal

Plus cars and dreary painted landscapes.

Heratnumber7 · 31/05/2019 16:45

Most of the people I know don't bother with cards for birthdays, Christmas and suchlike these days. They are expensive and single use, and get chucked away after a couple of days. A simple verbal "happy birthday/fathers' day" etc is fine.

Drogosnextwife · 31/05/2019 16:49

shumway

I thought exactly the same when it was mother's day. All the pink flowery shite that was in every shop. The usual bath bombs, moisturiser, manicure sets, cups, chocolate and flowers.

Ronsters · 31/05/2019 17:21

Golf seems to feature on a lot of men's cards.

IndianaMoleWoman · 31/05/2019 17:29

FIL is an alcoholic who doesn’t like sports. Finding an appropriate card is always a nightmare!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 31/05/2019 20:26

The ones that completely irrationally give me the rage even just seeing them in the Fathers' Day and all male birthday sections are the Only Fools & Horses ones with a big, garish picture of Del Boy saying "Have a T'riffic Birthday/Fathers' Day!"

Seriously? Really? Yes, OFAH and its catchphrases were very funny and oft repeated - but it finished proper in 1991 and even the Christmas episodes, which carried on way longer than they ever should have, ended 16 years ago.

A good humorous card should at least carry an element of novelty or surprise. Does anybody, in 2019, really receive one of these and point at it, snorting and wheezing to the point of self-soilage and exclaiming "Look - it's DEL BOY!!! And he's wishing ME a 't'riffic' birthday!!! Thats just so hilarious, because 't'riffic' was one of his well-known catchphrases!!! Wow, whoever would have thought it???!!! I can barely breathe, it's just so amazingly funny!!!"

To add to the misery, I notice they also now have 'side-splitting' Mrs Brown ones too. WHO buys these - and why are they allowed unaccompanied in shops?!

Also, to the well-summarised subject list above, we need to add 'cards that make fun of how old you are' and 'cards that suggest very strongly that there's a cash gift inside, however, when you open it.... get this.... there is NO money, but there IS a joke about WHY there is no money in there!!!' Pant-wettingly hilarious, every single time, I'm sure....

Original poster

GraceMarks · 31/05/2019 21:40

SausageRoll don't hold back, get it out

I doubt if my dad would have thanked me for a Del Boy card even in 1987. I've just also remembered the cards that mock one's supposedly beloved father for having no hair, or a pot belly, or being flatulent or borderline incontinent. Or those ones with an "old" picture of a man asleep in an armchair captioned "Dad was overcome with excitement at seeing kids on Father's Day". What better way to show your regard for him than implying you all hate each other?

OP posts:

The80sweregreat · 31/05/2019 21:42

I do agree with you.
It's so hard to get decent cards.

buckeejit · 31/05/2019 22:10

I can't buy any cards that say shit that I wouldn't actually say. I hate card shopping 😡 but am going to get back to buying a years worth in December for all the parents, brother, aunt, uncle etc. I hate running lasts minute for cards!

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