Drinks at home - stuck in a rut

[Bored40]

Ok so I know it's not really an AIBU but I am a little embarrassed how difficult this seems to be - NC for this reason!

Over the years 'drinks out' has changed to a nice bottle of something while sat on the sofa with DH. Cost of going out, friendships drifting and getting more picky about places as I get older I guess. I now have a stressful/emotionally draining job with unpredictable hours, so it's not really possible to plan to do anything on weeknights.

I've developed a bad habit of 'rewarding' a hard day at work with a drink, or having a drink to wind down. Not every night, and not to the point of being drunk, but its become something me and DH do together. He will have a drink just because he likes it, doesn't have any noticeable ill effects (eg doesnt have enough that it gives him a hangover, no weight issues etc)

I want to nip this in the bud, as it bothers me (my drinking, I'm not judging DH) But I'm finding it hard to feel how I can have 'quality time' with DH on a weekday if I'm not having a drink with him, ridiculous though that sounds. With being stressed from work I'm too restless to just sit on the sofa and watch TV without a glass in hand (I've tried, i end up thinking about work and reading MN on my phone which is pretty antisocial). I looked online to see other people's views on wine o'clock and everything suggests things like reading a nice book or having a bath - again nice occasionally but feels a bit antisocial.
Btw I'm not tied to my DH and insistent on spending time together every evening, but I do like company, and I don't want to ignore him every night so that I'm not drinking!

Anyone else been stuck in a rut like this and got out of it (preferably without LTB )

If it's the calories that are bothering you in soft drinks it may well be that they are not much different from the alcoholic drinks that you're giving up. I'm other words calorie-wise the shift will be neutral, but at least you're weaning yourself off an alcohol habit - that might be a helpful way to see it.

It isn't the calories, I just genuinely don't like sugary drinks - a few sips is ok but any more and they get really sickly.

Non alcoholic beer is fecking fantabulous and not to bad calorie wise there are several now in Tesco and Asda. Try a few there are beer for every taste.

Some of the non alcoholic beer is good. Just avoid becks blue (horrible) and be willing to try a few until you hit on the one.

Alcohol free wine is mostly vile. The fizzy stuff from aldi is about the best bit not always available.

Spicy ginger beer, fizzy water, fancy tonics, elderflower presse are all on my good and not alcoholic list

I used to be like you OP rewarding myself for a good or bad day every day with a few glass of wine. I now only drink at home at the week-end (from 6pm) and if and when I go out during the week. You need to stop seeing alcohol as a reward. It's hard to start with but now I look forward to a nice meal during the week. I've also started to appreciate the alcohol I drink rather than drink it as if it was water.

This is my answer - T2 looseleaf roses (I leave the infuser in).
www.t2tea.com/en/uk/herbal-floral-tisane/just-rose-loose-leaf-tisane-just_rose.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIqMq1-tzF4gIVmpntCh1ZcQ4EEAQYASABEgIbXvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Only midweek though.

Are you into crafts at all? If it's a matter of having something in your hands whilst watching TV, could you crochet, knit, embroider, or make other things?

OP- That's why I suggested chilled sparkling water with ice- its so refreshing

G&T without the G - in a nice glass, ice, lemon etc. You can get low calorie tonic water as well as flavoured with lemon / lime. I find some of the 'pleasure' is purely drinking from a wine glass so I'll often have Ribena etc in a wine glass

Find something to do with your hands - x-stitch, crochet, paper craft (make magic stars, they're amazing!), knitting, etc, it'll keep your hands busy if your worried about your hands being idle

Sparkling water, ice and one of more of

• fresh lemon
• fresh lime
• mint leaves
• raspberries
• angostura bitters

I like to have this in a jug and actually drink from a lovely stemmed glass

A soda stream to add bubbles to tap water.

It takes a while for your taste buds to get used to these natural flavours but it is really worth it

Honestly, it is just a habit, and all habits can be broken. Give yourself a month off, and review it from there. Find a good habit which please you, and which doesn't add to your stress levels. A half hour walk at the start of the evening?

DH and I don’t drink but we’ll often have olives or tortillas and dips or a some of a box of chocolate. It’s that shared thing in front of the tv.

Myself and DH love to do this too, and I haven't quite managed to combat all the week night drinking but we don't do half as much as we used to. It seems to work best for us when we are addicted to something really great on Netflix or tv and can really look forward to sitting down and giving it our while attention. Not just watching crap to pass the time until bed! I find we are easily bored and love nothing better than a good deep conversation aided by plenty of wine! So the series has to be great to beat that option...
And then for the chats, we head off for a brisk 35 minute walk around town after dinner. I'm doing slimming world so it helps with my weight loss and I'm loathe to undo the exercise by hitting the wine at that stage. It's not a foolproof plan and with the nice weather we find ourselves tempted some weeknights but I really do prefer to wait until the weekend and feel that I really deserve it. It tastes better after waiting a week too!

Bored40 if I'm driving or don't fancy an alcoholic drink when everyone else is partaking, I have Nosecco. It's around £3 a bottle from Asda or Co-op and is a really nice alternative! I have it in a wineglass and it feels as if I'm joining in without having the alcohol element. I much prefer it to elderflower, mint, lemon type drinks and it's nicer than it sounds!

I've started collecting 2 player board and card games for when I went better quality time with dh.

Have a cup of coffee together or tea?? Even some lemonade ??

Alcohol free beer or tonic water. Totally gives you that ‘feeling’ of having a relaxing drink without the alcohol. Once you’ve had one you realise it’s not the alcohol you need, just that trigger of having a nice drink to relax.

Tonic water with ice and about 100ml grapefruit juice. Trust me!

Acid?

I buy low alcohol (