to think nothing I can do will protect our kids?

[mylittlemike]

I'll keep this as short as possible.

My ex was emotionally abusive towards me. He was emotionally abusive towards his ex. He has become angry and irate before at my baby son (who he has no contact with for this reason) and his daughter who he had with his ex recently disclosed (to me) that she's scared of him and some really quite sad physical and emotional abuse that she's suffered. I've reported this to her school safeguarding lead who is dealing with the right agencies appropriately. They're very good.

I opened up to a friend about all this and she told me about her horrific experience with her ex, and how the courts dismissed any abuse and treated her appallingly. I wasn't there so can't vouch for this, but she's incredibly intelligent and I got the impression the was being truthful and genuinely felt failed.

AIBU in thinking that abusive people who are volatile, emotionally abusive towards their children, physically abusive (even if they think that pinching etc is funny and ok), should not be alone with them unsupervised?

He is incredibly charming and I can't believe I fell for it, looking back. I'm quite scared the court will not take any of this seriously and a father's need to see their kids will trump all.

Opinions?

I’m From Aus and our court system often fails miserably in relation to Family Violence and custody/visitation.

There seem to be a widespread belief that
a)women getting divorced make stuff up
b) that if allegations were real there would be concrete evidence (other then testimony from women and children)
c) even if the abuse against a wife is proven that a man should still have access to his kids because he would never abuse them right.......

@Notanotheruser111 it really is a shame. His daughter desperately doesn't want to go there. She's scared of him. Apparently 7 is too young to know what she wants. They'll take the abuse seriously when she's 12 and damaged

Anyone else have any experience?

Is he actually taking you to court? Because the threat is part of the script of abusers. Write down as much as you can remember, as factually as you can eg on x date we were travelling back from y. He was driving and I felt unsafe. I asked him to slow down. Instead he drove faster.

I've recently bee through UK family court and sad to say my experience wasnt great.... :(

YANBU. Similar story here.

I will say that SS seem to peak their interest if there are allegations of physical abuse (from things other people have shared to me). The more that the child can disclose in school, the better the chances SS will get involved.

Parents have the right to withhold access if there are safeguarding issues, but there is a very real risk that they will be accused of parental alienation if they do.

I had a bad experience in UK family court.

I was told by a social worker to contact my absent and abusive ex and ask him to have contact with my children because it's "in their best interest" apparently I did complain about her but I thought it was quite dangerous she was going a round advising that , imo they don't care. They just want fathers to have access no matter what

They also advised direct contact for me x

What is wrong with our court system?!! 😥

I think their view is contact with the father is more important than anything.

Yep London. Seems they came under scrutiny because of favouring with the mothers so it seems like it's not even about each individual case but just showing they have been 'fair ' with disregard for any safety of the victim.