To think night weaning might not work...

[Bigmango]

....and then what?

My 14 month old is a crap sleeper. I’m of the gentle persuasion and up until now have coslept and breastfed when she woke to maximise sleep and minimise tears. I am now ready to make some changes and am happy to go through a few tears to reach an ultimate goal of more sleep. She refuses a bottle and any milk that isn’t from the boob. I’m happy to try night weaning but given that she won’t take any other milk, and that we’ve still got molars and 18 month sleep regression to get through, will I have any success in the long run? It is so quick to get her down to sleep when she wakes now, but if she wakes in the night now after night weaning, how will a I get her back to sleep? Can’t face rocking again! Any success stories out there? Or should I just wait a few more months?

I might weaned at 13 months and my situation was exactly the same as yours except for the co sleeping. I was exhausted and sick of being the only one who could deal with her at night. We might weaned at 13 months which involved my husband going in when she woke in the night and offering water. At that point she was waking to feed 2x per night every night. It took a couple of weeks for her to stop asking for me and starting to eat more solids during the day (hardly ate anything before then).

However, she didn’t start sleeping through the night until about 21 months. Babies wake in the night for reasons other than hunger. She often just wanted to see someone or have a drink. Or if she was ill or teething she would wake. But the benefit of night weaning is that you are no longer the only person who has to get up in the night. My husband copes MUCH better than me on less sleep. And my daughter goes back to sleep much more quickly if it’s not me that goes in. If I go in she wants cuddles and boob but if my husband goes in she goes straight back to sleep.

We did the jay Gordon method and that worked for us. DD was 18 months. She’s still hit and miss but so much better now.

My daughter self weaned at 14 months. Honestly, I noticed a dramatic difference in her sleep once I weaned her off night feeds. Started at 11 months old before I went back to work. Slowly weaning her one feed at a time. Started with the day feeds by distracting her. Going with the don’t refuse but don’t offer, and going out as she was less likely to feed when out and busy. When I came to the night feeds I still bf her to sleep. She was in here oen cot though. And then when she woke for the usual top up, I’d send husband in or go in myself, give her a quick cuddle then put her down. Husband would do the same. Had about 3/4 weeks of her waking a lot but would go in, give her a cuddle, back down. Even if she moaned or winged. Didn’t give in. By the 4th week she just stopped waking and slept through. She never asked for milk at night again and never woke in the night again, unless really unwell. She’s slept through now since then (so from 1yo) and she’s 2.5 yo now. Once we cracked the night feeds and the day feeds she was just down to the feed to sleep. But after a month, my milk obviously decreased loads, she wasn’t getting much and just a comfort really and after her usual bedtime routine of story then boob she decided she just wanted stories and pushed me away, so I let her go with it. And in a week she’d completely stopped.
Took around 5 months, from 11-14 months, but we went from day and night feeds to her deciding she was content without the boob. She now even drinks milk, she loves it. I never offered her cows milk, she just had the occasional glass at nanny’s but now she loves it and asks for her milk before bed. It’s her go to drink really.
Good luck. :)

We just night weaned our 13 month old. It was mostly a piece of piss! TBH although I always poo-pooed the 'lying next to a bar of chocolate - could you resist?' people, I think there's an element of it that's true (My DD was never like that though). He was waking every two hours to feed and I couldn't cope. DP started sleeping with him instead and it was FINE. First night, no crying or anything. So I suggest going for it!

I night weaned at 18 months using jay Gordon's gentle weaning which worked well for us.

If you're co sleeping have you tried side feeding? Generally I didn't/don't wake up for night feeds (ds2 is 15months).

Good luck whatever you choose

Oh and we never experienced the 18 month sleep regression either. She might have woken a bit earlier, but no night wakes. Once we’d cracked the feeding that was it.
I would also try to introduce her to sleeping in her own bed, as this will help not having you right there. But obviously just take it slowly and one step at a time. It won’t happen over night and will take a few months of persevering x

Watching with interest. Bed sharing and night feeding a 19mo.
To be honest, I was thinking of just waiting until he is old enough for me to actually explain it to him!

Night weaning at around that age worked for one of mine, one self weaned, but the third was a terrible sleeper (after a sleepy first 4 weeks he didn't sleep for longer than a very rare 2 hour stretch for almost 3 years) and night weaning actually made him worse.

You're right - it might work, it might make no difference, but if you're unlucky it will remove your one sure-fire way of getting her to sleep without bringing any benefits. This is what happened with my dc3 who went from feeding back to sleep to taking 2-4 hours of needing complete body contact and playing with my ear to fall asleep. He would not stay lying down unless lying full length on top of me and twiddling my ear. Honestly it nearly killed me, I put on 3 stone and developed all sorts of joint problems in the non sleeping years... What solved it finally was simply him reaching an age and language stage where he could understand me explaining that not sleeping was making me I'll, and setting him up with other resources if he couldn't sleep (story CDs were the most useful).

Most toddlers probably aren't like my dc3 though...

I think night weaning works for most people, it worked for my dc1, it's not foolproof though...

Ahhh... thanks everyone. Lots to mull over. Tbh when it’s a bad night, I’m all over night weaning. When it’s only waking 2 or 3 times, I’m definitely against it (if it ain’t broke etc).

I've just night weaned my LO, she just turned 2. I didn't think she was ready tbh (waking at least 2x a night, up to 5x) but I was forced into it for medical reasons.

As soon as I knew I would have to stop, I restricted feeds just to sleep times. We tackled day naps first a few weeks ago, it took a while but eventually she accepted the new routine.

Then, seeing as she is used to going to bed without a breastfeed when she stays with my mum, my mum came over to help. The first couple of nights I pretended to go out, then I stayed in the house while my mum put her to bed, then I put her to bed with my mum, then I did I think on my own. She immediately started sleeping better, and I was able to soothe her on the odd occasion she did wake simply by cuddling her.

Is there anyone who could do the same for you?