Grandfathers funeral on Monday- he was my best friend. We were very very close. Was old and I’ll but death came as a massive, massive shock. My parents were away on a cruise with my aunt and uncle so neither my aunt or mum were there when he died (his daughters).
With this I had to call my brother (who I haven’t seen in 6 years and we had an awful relationship, he’s an emotionally abusive piece of shit) because I literally had no idea what to do as I couldn’t contact either of them. He literally lasted five minutes before going on a verbally abusive tirade before I had to walk away from him because I was getting that distressed. During this time my best friend of over 15 years was driving up from London (we are in Newcastle). I told the staff in her nursing home to contact me if they needed anything and would be back the next day to empty his room
Anyway was banged awake at 3am by my mum- brother had managed to get hold of her, they had flown home and come straight to mine giving me shit about “abandoning my brother at a time like this” and “how dare I make it all about me”. Worth mentioning brother hadn’t seen grandfather in over 15 years, was ashamed of him and his lifestyle/background (hard working working class, but brother can’t admit he comes from working class roots and neither can my mum). Aunt got out of the car, told my mum to leave me alone (aunt was told mum was coming to check if I was OK and instead she was just giving me shit) and I told my mum to keep away from me and if she came back I’d call the police.
Mum contacted me 3 days later apologising and said she was out of order and even my brother wanted to apologise (fucking unheard of, nearly had a heart attack on the spot) so went for dinner and surprise surprise my brother just ended up giving me shit and my dad ended up asking him to leave because me and mum were getting upset.
I don’t have a great relationship with my mum either- but I believed over the past week, we have been closer than we have for years. And then came the phone call this morning.
Brother gloating that he had been given 10k off my mother in advance of her getting grandparents money. Brother DOES NOT need this money- earns a six figure salary, gorgeous home which he can easily afford, 6 month old car and numerous luxury holidays each year. I need to move out my flat, earn minimum wage and drive a 16 year old car that is falling apart. I’m not saying brother shouldn’t get the money- I’m saying, I should get the same- no?
Called mum and tried to have a reasonable conversation about it. Apparently I don’t need it- I can move back in with my parents (not a chance- one of us will end up dead within the first hour I can guarantee it) and my car is still running is it not? I asked why she had given my brother money and her response? He wants to go to the Caribbean for Christmas 
Mum also then drops into the conversation that my best friend can also not come to the funeral (she approved this before I even asked her) who has had to pull a lot of strings at work to get the time off.
I can’t face going alone I’m going to be a wreck. AIBU?