Unsure whether to go back to work in September.

[Shootingstar1115]

Hi all, I’m a SAHM. My OH works and earns an okay wage, we can live on it fairly comfortably. But we don’t have many luxuries. We are kinda in the middle. Far from well off but not poor either.

I have been a SAHM for 8 years, since my DS was born, we also have DD aged nearly 4 due to start school in September. DS has additional needs (asd) and caring for him often seems like a full time job in itself. Fortunately he is settled in school and attends full time. DD also has some degree of additional needs but she isn’t as hard work as DS and due to start in September.

Everyone keeps asking if I’m going back to work. Ofc I absolutely love the idea of going back to work but it’s not as easy as it seems.

OH does shift work alternating weeks so finding a job around his hours is impossible. The only day I could work now is a Sunday, but that means we’d never have a family day together.

I live in the middle of nowhere so getting a job would probably mean travelling 30 minutes or more. How many places hire someone between 10 and 2..?? Breakfast and after school clubs aren’t really an option. I feel the staff running these in the village school aren’t trained enough to deal with DS.

Both children have appointments, meetings, reviews etc that I often need to attend making it harder.

And also the school holidays? How would I cope in the school holidays if I had a job?? We don’t have any family readily available to have DC. There are some childminders in the village we live in but again I don’t feel this would be suitable for DS.

I feel like I’m just making excuses not to work but for me these are real issues that need to be looked at before thinking about how I could get a job to work around them??

You don't have to go back to work if it doesn't work for you. Make the decision based on your circumstances and your feelings, not the opinions of others. And remember, you can always change your mind!

Why couldn't you work when the kids were at school? It doesn't have to be s Sunday

The solutions to this are that you do what hundreds of thousands of other working parents do. After school clubs, your husband does the school runs around his shifts, wrap around care etc. But if you don't want to work and don't need to, then don't. However, think of the long term benefit. One day you may want to work and the longer the gap, the harder you'll be to employ, no pension contributions, no financial independence... Working can give you friends, self esteem and a change from the repetitive domestic duties.

I'm sure professional childminder's and nursery will have experience of caring for children with an assortment of extra needs

I have been a SAHM for about 6 years since having DS2. For the past 9 months or so I have been volunteering part time to get an up to date reference. There aren't any places available at after school care so that's not an option for me but when I do find work my husband will alter his working hours as will my Mum so they can both do one pick up per week - that gives me two days I can work. I'm also studying part time so don't really want to do more than 2 days. Realistically it could take me quite a long time to find a job. But we manage in the meantime, we just don't have any luxuries. I like being able to go to sports days and help on school trips etc.

Lots of people on here will tell you you need a career and to be financially independent etc - thats rubbish. If working isn't the right thing for your family then don't do it but do think about what would happen if your circumstances change in the future. Having a pension and savings in your own name are a good idea, its also a good idea to do some sort of voluntary work to give you a reference if you do need to go back to work, and also to get you out of the house.